A REAL fire.

Evidently some trees rubbed my power line to the point of creating an open line and all the lights started to flash in my house, the backup battery systems started to beep and finally there was a puff of smoke followed by sparks and then an outlet burst into flames.

Wow…all before 9 a.m.!

I was fortunate to be here at home and not at my office, otherwise, I may not be writing this today as I’m sure there would have been a significant fire.

Yes, I am VERY grateful.

But I noticed something as all this was going on.

I noticed how calm I was.

I’m not meaning to brag, but I have to say that I impressed myself.

I guess all those years of deep breathing, meditation, positive thinking, mental reframing and self-hypnosis paid off.

I think I’ll keep practicing what I’ve been doing…it seems to be working.

All of which brings me to a question: How are you at “putting out fires?”

This term of speech, “putting out fires”, typically means responding to crisis, conflict, unexpected surprises or, as some call it, the “do-do” of life.

How are you at all of that?

I’ve noticed that there are four basic types of responses:

Freeze: These are the people who are the proverbial “deer in the headlights” reactors. They get immediately overwhelmed and their emotions override their intellect and wisdom. They don’t take action. They don’t do anything. They freeze.

Fight: Some people are so reactive that when anything is the least bit upsetting their emotions go into full tilt overdrive. They get angry, frustrated, irritated or just go into a rage. Their action is irrational and often inappropriate. They instantly burn the bridges between themselves and others. These are the “reactors” of life.

Flight: They run. They run more. They keep running. Sometimes they forget what they’re running from. Their emotional response is such that they instantly see things as “life threatening” and obviously overreact by running. These are the conflict avoiders of life.

Fix: These people stop, pause, think, analyze and then go into action. Although their emotions are present, they are able to keep their emotions in check. Their intellect and wisdom override their emotions. They go into rational action and stay focused until they have completed the task to the best of their ability.

Which are you?

I can honestly tell you that I have been all four at one time or another in my life.

Today, fortunately, I do my best to stay in the latter category. I stop, pause, think and respond.

It’s very easy to allow one’s emotions to make their decisions. Emotions are very powerful and very helpful in many ways, but NOT to make decisions with…especially the super important decisions.

In my case, I had an impulse to throw water on the fire, since I know that water puts out fire. However, if you throw water on electrical fires, you can create many more problems.

I wonder how many people in life react and “throw water on an electrical fire.”

I have learned over the years that when I practice meditation and Qigong breathing, I seem to have better control over emotional situations. I can’t tell that I really know how that all works, all I know is that it works for me.

I also have a very empowering mantra:

Every moment of every day, I get better and better in every way.
Every moment of every day, I get richer and richer in every way.
Every moment of every day, I get stronger and stronger in every way.
Every moment of every day, I get wiser and wiser in every way.

I think there’s a part of me that actually has begun to fully believe that message.

It’s only taken 53 years….and I know it’ll get better and better every day…in every way!

As somewhat of an aside, I was also quite surprised with the power company’s seemingly lack of concern that my house could have burned down. I found it alarming that the customer service representative wanted to tell me all about their policies and procedures. She also said she would get back to me regarding having the trees trimmed.

It’s been three days now. I have a feeling I won’t hear back.

No worries, I’ll write a nice letter to the CEO. Don’t really like to do that, but have found that that is sometimes the only path to any resolution.

I bring this issue up for only one reason: Integrity.

How is your integrity? Are you living at your highest standards? Are you “your living word”? Are you “being whole” with yourself?

So, a few things for you to ponder: Fires, emotions, meditation, integrity.

I think it’s called “Life”, or as one of my older and wiser clients says, “It all comes with the birth certificate.”

Feel free to leave a comment below.

And today is a good day to Marry YourSelf First!

“Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished.  If you’re alive, it isn’t.”

Every day I hear people asking me this question, “Why am I so messed up?”

They don’t always say just exactly those words, although sometimes they do, but they say something similar and definitely with the same meaning.

So, why are WE so messed up?

The good news is that it all comes down to two things:

1.)   We don’t know what to do.

2.)   We just don’t do what we know to do.

Nice to know it’s that simple, right?!!

Let’s look at the first, the “We don’t know what to do” syndrome.

Why would you know what to do?…who taught you?…where did you learn from?

See, most people have extreme emotional and relational deficits. Unless you went to some very, very non-mainstream school, you never had classes that taught you any of this. And because very few people really learned the art of handling emotions and relationships effectively, then it only makes sense that they would pass their deficits on to their children.

So it’s easy to see and understand the “We don’t know what to do” syndrome.

Which brings us to number two: We just don’t do what we know to do.

This is the real kicker and here’s why: There are so many resources today to help people improve their lives. And much of it is absolutely free. Go to YouTube and you will find hours and hours of free, good coaching and education on emotional and relationship management. All free!

Do a Google search and you’ll find websites, blogs and forums that you can participate in and have ongoing conversations to seek out answers to all your challenges.

And if you’re willing to invest a few bucks in yourself, you can invest in books or audio and video programs that will bring the experts right into your home or office.

And if you want to go full out, then you can actually hire a professional coach or counselor to give you the 1:1 guidance you want to improve your life and relationships.

But everyone probably knows all this and they still just don’t do what they know to do.

Why?

It can only be one of a very few things:

1.)   Denial: “I don’t have any issues…really.”

2.)   Minimization: “It’s not that big of a deal.” (Which is a form of denial.)

3.)   Cynicism and blame: “Sure, I’ll change when she changes.”

4.)   Stupidity: “Duh.” (This doesn’t actually exist; some people just pretend that it does.)

So the REAL question is this: How badly do you want to improve your life?

Or maybe this one: How much pain, heartache, misery or depression do you want to endure in your life?

Yes, challenges are definitely part of life, but pain, heartache, misery and depression are all optional.

But it all comes back to you.

YOU have to choose to want a better life.

YOU have to choose to want better relationships.

YOU have to choose to want a better career path.

YOU have to choose to want better health.

YOU have to choose to want a better spiritual connection.

YOU have to choose to want better friends.

YOU have to choose to want a better you.

The really good news is that YOU are in total control of all that.

The next question is: When will you start?

If you want to be a victor, you must release being a victim!

“I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.”  ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Marry YourSelf First!…Today!

Can I recover from a marital affair?

How do I deal with marriage infidelity? 

What do I do after infidelity?

Can I recover from betrayal and trust again?

Unfortunately, these questions are quite frequently asked by many people. Betrayal, infidelity and affairs are rampant today.

But here is the real question: What are the keys to happy, healthy and harmonious relationships?

Answer this question, and live it fully every day in every way, and you’ll proactively prevent, or at least dramatically reduce the likelihood of having to deal with the marital affair, marriage infidelity, betrayal or broken trust in your relationship.

However, people who find themselves in these unfortunate situations want to know what they should do.

Answer: ???????

Not such a good answer, right?

There is NO clear cut answer because there are so many variables involved.

So let’s look at some possibilities at rebuilding trust in the relationship.

The rebuilding process is often dependent upon how much baggage has been brought into the relationship. Additionally, it is also very dependent on how open the two people are.

If there is a lot of baggage, which means “a significant amount of pre-relationship emotional issues,” then one or both people may have to do a lot of individual processing, as well as working on the relationship.

If one or both of the people are not willing to open up and be truthful and honest, this will slow down or perhaps even sabotage the entire process.

One other variable is around how much trust has been broken. Is there a long history or is this the first and only time?

Here’s something to consider: The affair is not really THE problem. It’s really a symptom of the problem. Relationships that are strong in their foundation do have affairs.

The affair is an escape or an attempted way to cope. This, of course, does NOT diminish the fact that it’s still an affair…still a betrayal…and still broken trust.

Usually affairs come from needs not being met in the relationship. In some cases, it can go back even farther to serious unresolved trauma from childhood or earlier on in life.

The bottom-line, however, is to get to the core of the motivation for the affair and then resolve that.

Believe it or not, the recovery from an affair can actually help the relationship become even stronger than before. Just like a broken bone: If healed properly, it becomes stronger than it was previously…really!

If the couple is truly committed to going through a healing process, they can make the relationship even stronger and better than it was before. Affairs simply mean that there are significant dysfunctional dynamics in the relationship.

In other words, there was something going on before the infidelity occurred.

So the biggest elements that are required for lasting healing to occur are openness, honesty and patience. The healing process takes time. Sometimes a LOT of time!

And find a really good relationship counselor who can help guide you through the healing process. Affairs are very difficult, if not impossible, for couples to heal successfully by themselves.

Affairs and infidelities are eye openers. Now that your eyes are open, leave them open. Notice what’s really going on in the relationship. Notice the unmet needs, the unresolved issues and the unspoken words.

These “un” patterns are the patterns and behaviors that MUST end, or else the relationship will either fail or forever be embittered.

On the other end of the spectrum lies this question: Is this a Deal-Breaker? And can I repair it even though I consider it to be a deal- breaker?

The literal answer would be “no” since deal-breakers are just that: They break the deal!

True deal-breakers are absolutes and non-negotiable. That’s not to say that this makes a decision of this magnitude easy. Deal-breakers mean “I am not going to tolerate or allow anything that goes beyond this line.”

You have to decide what your lines are and if you’re willing to change them.

Beware of guilt or fear being the underlying motivation to stay in spite of the deal-breakers. These motivators will most likely come back to haunt you again and again.

Whatever your motivation is, it’s highly recommended that you use a huge amount of caution if you decide to change your deal-breakers and allow yourself to continue in the relationship.

Again, getting a good, experienced relationship counselor involved is paramount.

How do you rebuild trust after betrayal?

Can you recover from a marital affair?

How do you deal with marriage infidelity? 

What do you do after infidelity?

Can you recover from betrayal and trust again?

Yes…no…maybe.

But whatever you choose, do it much differently than you did in the past and with professional guidance.

Please leave your comments below…

Marry YourSelf First Every Day!

“Why won’t he talk to me?”

Okay guys, you’re about to get slammed…don’t say you weren’t warned!

Guys have been getting a bad rap about their lack of openness in relationships for a long time. Maybe even since the beginning of time! And unfortunately, guys, there is quite a bit of truth and validity to all this.

And sure, you could blame your dad because he wasn’t a good role model, or you could even say you were a victim of the times. After all, big boys don’t laugh, cry, smile or get angry, right?!!

But let’s look at this without getting into the blame game or any kind of victim mentality…okay?

First look at why you might want to be more open. Here’s one huge reason: Because it makes her happy! So how about letting go of, “It doesn’t make any sense to me…” at least for now.

Think of this as a gift…More beautiful than a dozen fresh roses…Sweeter than the richest chocolate…Beyond the most sentimental card.

Not just any gift; it’s the gift of all gifts!

She wants to hear what’s going on in your world. She wants to hear your feelings and your thoughts and your fears and your dreams.

She wants to hear it all.

And then she wants you do to the same. It’s not hard. In fact, it’s actually quite simple. It’s called “Listening 101.”

It’s called the “Listening Thee Step” and it goes like this:

Step One: You give her your undivided attention. No TV. No cell phone. No computer. No nothing. Just you, listening fully to her and completely.

Easy…right?!!

Step Two (which goes along with Step One): No judgment or criticism about what she says. Just listen. Be interested in what’s going on in her world. If you don’t understand something, then ask for more information.

Wow…simple and easy!

Oh, almost forgot…

Step Three: Don’t try to fix her…she’s not broken. Maybe a bit emotional. Maybe a bit upset. Maybe a little scared or worried. Maybe even a little angry. But not broke.

That’s it. Do this daily and you’ll be on your way to creating the most fabulous relationship you could ever imagine.

But let’s get back to where we started. Yes, let’s get back to talking about you talking…talking more.

The essence of a relationship is the connection between two people. What does essence mean? This is the soul or the spirit of the relationship. It’s the core or the foundation. It’s the heart of the relationship.

And if the heart stops beating, or if it’s not taken care of properly, then the heart begins to whither and die.

And so does the relationship.

First there’s fighting and bickering, followed by power-struggles and resentment, and then the distance and avoidance happens, and then, as the relationship begins to gasp for fresh air, it dies a slow death.

Nasty sounding isn’t it!??

And it all can be saved, guys, if you’ll just open up more.

Here’s an easy way to make this a part of your regular routine: Every day pick a time to check in with her. Make it a time when she’s available and you’re available. Just ask how her day was. Then share with her what your day was like.

Yes…it’s that simple!

But there is another side to this, since the question was originally posed from the woman’s perspective.

Women, hear this: You cannot “make him” open up.

In fact, nobody can make anybody open up.

You are the only one who can do anything differently. And although you may not want to admit that, that is the way it is.

It’s always easier to try to get the other person (“him” in this case) to do something differently. And that’s probably because our eyes look outward and they don’t look inward.

It sometimes is very uncomfortable to look inward and ask yourself the really tough questions. Even if “he” is stubborn beyond belief, it’s still up to you to ask yourself what you can do differently in your interactions with him.

People (men, in this case) sometimes feel like they’re being attacked, when they are not. In this case, a different approach would be advised.

If someone responds in a defensive manner, don’t ignore it and don’t fight it, but be curious about it. Inquire about it. See what you can find out about this. And do this all with great compassion.

Here’s the bottom-line: When you change your tactics and you approach someone in a different way, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. There’s a possibility that “he” may respond differently.

So, “Why won’t he talk to me?”  Start by having a different conversation. Both of you (guys…ladies!)! Use some new tactics. What have you got to lose? And, by the way, don’t get into analyzing the “why” question. That’s a waste of time. Better to ask yourself, “How?” How can you communicate differently? How can you respond differently? How can you be proactive differently?

Click here to get the free couples guide Keeping the Affection Connection in the Perfect Direction! 40 Sure-Fire Tactics To Keep The Peace – And The Love!! – Every Day in Every Way!

Leave a comment or two below…

And Marry YourSelf First Every Day in Every Way!

It is a great opportunity for you to take a deep look inside yourself and really ask yourself, “What is it that I feel insecure or jealous about? What is it about ME that’s causing this?” If you have insecure feelings with somebody else or have jealousy, know that’s just a projection…a projection of something going on deep inside of you.

Yes, it’s so much easier for us to look outwardly and put the focus on another person and try to make it about them. To even look at the other person and say, “They did this that caused me to feel jealous or insecure.”

But that couldn’t be any farther from the truth. If somebody is doing something that is that outlandish, or that’s breaking trust, that is an obvious deal-breaker and you need to think about why you’re in that relationship…period!

But what CAN YOU do about these insecurities and feelings of jealousy? First, it’s good to know that this most likely comes from some place deep inside that is typically connected to an old wound. In fact, it often comes from events that have occurred very early in life.

(Side note: This would be a great time to hook up with a therapist and have somebody to guide you through the healing process!)

It’s time to do a thorough examination and inventory of yourself and your history, and ask yourself:
• What were the primary messages that I received about myself?
• What were the primary messages that I received about my self-worth?
• What were the primary messages that I received about my identity?
• What were the primary messages that I received about my looks?
• What were the primary messages that I received about my capabilities?
• What were the primary messages that I received about others?
• What were the primary messages that I received about relationships?

These messages are not always obvious and often they may have been expressed in a more subtle way. Through looks, body language, facial expressions or even silence. So even though you may have been brought up in a really healthy and normal environment, there may have been some other things that you picked up on that were just really subtle messages. And you may have made you own conclusions based on incorrect assumptions or interpretations.

But really ask yourself this one core question: How did I feel about myself when I was growing up. And then also ask yourself:
• What’s my history in past relationships?
• Have I been burned?
• Have I been taken advantage of?
• Have I been cheated on?
• Is there any unresolved energy there that’s starting to rear its ugly head?

Here’s the bottom-line to this whole jealousy and insecurity issue: Things that are unresolved from childhood or past relationships will continually come up until you put them to rest!

If you leave a relationship, the issues will follow you to the next and the next and the next…in fact, you’ll probably even pick the same kind of person because there is so much unresolved energy going on at a subconscious level.

The message to the subconscious mind has to be that the “war” is over, all is now safe, and it’s now time for peace. When there are significant unresolved issues, our mind can get stuck at the subconscious level and play over and over like a broken record. This is particularly true when there has been something really traumatic. And if you don’t know how to “scratch the record” and get it to jump into the present, then it’ll keep playing that at a subconscious level.

Start with these simple exercises:
1. Write an uncensored letter to any and all past partners who you felt had hurt or betrayed you in any way. Write all your feelings and emotions. Write until you can’t write any more. Then have a ceremony and burn the letters. Release the resentment…Release the grudge…Release the hurt.

2. Imagine that you bring “younger you” into the present. What would you want to express to him or her about life…relationships…and him or herself? Think about how you would affirm, acknowledge, support, care for, love and protect that younger part of you. Do this daily and create a “corrective experience.”

So, if you find yourself feeling jealous and insecure, it is a great time for YOU to do some healing and growing…embrace the moment!

(Second side note: Again, this would be a great time to hook up with a therapist and have somebody to guide you through the healing process!)

Please Leave a Comment Below for Relationship Counselor Ken Donaldson…

And Marry YourSelf First! every day in every way!

Is Your Relationship Living or Dying?

This is a classic question being asked by many wives today. The first thing to do is the obvious: Ask him! And in asking him, have you clarified to him how important it is to you and to the kids?

Here are a few things to be aware of when asking:

• Be aware of “how” you’re asking.
• Are you nagging, whining or complaining? Ask in a positive tone.
• When are you asking? Pick a time when he’s available and not preoccupied.

All of which brings up the next question: Have you and your husband been practicing good communication or have you done what many couples do and just gone on autopilot?

Autopilot is a common relationship dynamic that silently says, “Let’s keep it comfortable, predictable and familiar.” Unfortunately, comfortable, predictable and familiar do not allow for  growth and if there’s no growth, the relationship can and will become very stagnant very fast. Sometimes what a relationship needs more than anything else is a shakeup. Something out of the ordinary, like a new way of interacting. Too many couples have become passive and they’ve stopped asking for what they truly want and need, and they’ve stopped making their requests.

In other words, they’ve begun to settle. And here’s a fact about settling: When you settle for less you always get less…never more! For example, couples often settle for setting fewer boundaries, which means they stop making the requests to fulfill their wants and needs, and they stop informing their partner about unacceptable behavior.

And what then happens is as days turn into weeks, weeks into months and months into years, there’s a growing separation and distance between the two. And then the wife’s simple issue of “I’d like you to spend more time with the kids,” turns into a resentment filled and fueled power-struggle.

This may sound like an evasion of the original question, but there are bigger issues and dynamics here. These issues don’t grow overnight; they usually have been festering for months, years and at times, even decades.

So the key is really about having healthy assertive communication. One of the greatest gifts one partner can give to another in a relationship is healthy communication. This is particularly relevant when it comes to conflict resolution. Oftentimes conflict resolution simply means to ask the more difficult and sometimes emotionally charged questions.

This issue of the husband spending more time with the family may be one of those situations where there may be a tendency to skate around the issue because it might feel uncomfortable. Like, “I don’t feel like asking him because he might get irritated,” or “I might sound like I’m nagging.”

However, the goal here is simple: Ask and make the request anyway. You must often just take the action that’s uncomfortable or awkward. And yes, it may even stir the pot and create a little conflict, but if you don’t confront and deal with conflict, the relationship will, by default, go on autopilot, and relationships die in autopilot mode!

Die?!! Yes…here’s why: Everything in life is either living or dying. Which means your life is either growing and expanding or shriveling and dying.

And if you’re not addressing issues straight-up and confronting dynamics that are unacceptable, then the relationship is starting to die.

So, how can you get your husband to spend more time with the family? It starts with you communicating effectively and assertively. If you’re not there or can’t seem to get there, or if there has been a continual cycle of breakdowns after you’ve tried over and over again, then it’s time to hire a professional.

It’s amazing what a couple of counseling sessions with a good relationship counselor can do! Have a few sessions with someone who can actively teach you how to effectively communicate with each other.

Do all this and the question of “How can I get my husband to spend more time with the family?” answers itself.

Leave a comment below…

Marry YourSelf First! for the Best Relationships

Click here to view the embedded video.

Independence Day

Sometimes I’m happy…..sometimes so sad

And times of bliss and sometimes just damn mad

I jump for joy….I’m wretched in pain

I have ecstatic moments and times of shame

I’m courageous at times and at times, I fear

I feel so sure….and doubt seems so near

An elated tear and a tear of grief

Confidence abounds, yet fear finds no relief

This is the package of this here life

From the pinnacle of joy to the valley of strife

It all adds color, but sometimes it’s black

Yet rainbows burst forth…emotions never lack

This roller coaster we can simply embrace

Not one single feeling must we ever disgrace

These are expressions form the depths of our Soul

It’s the Yin and the Yang of what makes us whole

So today I do say, “Know what you feel!!”

And embrace every feeling…you see, it’s part of the deal

Our feelings do tell us one thing for sure

We’re alive, yes alive, with emotion so pure

So on this fine day of Independence we say

Embrace yourself wholly as you sing, walk and pray

Realize the freedom you have to express

Now express every feeling and then get some rest!

Yes, express your emotions, and deny not a one

Be Independent like the moon, stars, earth and sun…

~ By Ken Donaldson…and made for you and your loved ones!

P.S. Today is a good day to Marry YourSelf First!

Ken Donaldson Keynote at D.W. Waters Graduation

I had the privilege and honor on this past Thursday evening of delivering the graduation keynote for the D.W. Waters class of 2010.

Just to give you a little insight, D.W. Waters’ motto is “It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish that counts!”

No big deal, right?

Wrong!

This is a WAY special class…check out their enrollment criteria:
 • At least 16 years of age
 • At least one year behind in school                                                    
 • No record of severe discipline problems
 • Wants to focus on a chosen Career Cluster at DWWCC (D. W. Waters Career Center)
 • Willing to commit to workplace training (OJT)

These are the students who make “high risk” look like every day living. For whatever reason (pregnancy, emotional and/or learning challenges, abuse, etc.), these courageous young people chose to continue on.

Most of them were so far behind that they couldn’t even imagine catching up, much less graduating.

And it would have been easier to quit!

A group of about 12 students sang the musical selection for the ceremony, I Believe I Can Fly. A perfect song for the students, the school and the event.

Here are the lyrics in case you’re not familiar with song:

“I Believe I Can Fly”
~R. KELLY

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I’m leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

Hey, cause I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly
Fly-eye-eye

Anyway, I thought long and hard about what to say to them.

So I decided to dare them…yes, I simply dared them…

I dared them to find and be the greatness that they truly are.

I dared them to find their unique purpose and live it every day in every way.

I dared them to find their own personal soul food and to continually, without fail, feed their spirit.

I dare them to figure out, set and maintain the boundaries that will empower them, to say a resounding “Yes” to all they do want, need and desire, and say a resonant “No” to all they will not tolerate.

I dared them to realize that the world needs them today more than ever, and the answers to the world’s problems will not come from Washington or Hollywood, but rather, from each and every one of them.

I dared them to surround themselves with the people who love them, accept them and encourage them, and to step away from those who don’t.

I dared them to tell themselves, time and time again, that they are deserving, gifted and of great value, and to say that to themselves as their powerful and affirming mantra.

I dared them to realize that life is full of unexpected challenges (I mentioned this as a very young child in the audience began to express herself in a very assertive way!) and one of the greatest gifts we can all give to ourselves is the gift of humor, which allows us to be flexible and fluid as we navigate down the river of life.

I dared them to remind that person in the mirror of their greatness, their importance, their value and their purpose, time and time and time again.

Yes, I simply dared them to be great.

Them, their parents, their friends, the teachers, and everyone else who was there on Thursday…I dared them all.

But the greatest dare I addressed was the dare to myself…to live what I said; to practice what I preached; to be the model of the dare.

What about you…have you dared yourself lately?

I dare you…

PS I hope to have a video of the whole presentation soon…I think it’ll worth watching…stay tuned!

Ken at D.W. Waters with another Marry YourSelf First fan!

 Marry YourSelf First!

Feel free to leave a comment or two…

Your most precious, valued possessions and your greatest powers are invisible and intangible. No one can take them. You, and you alone, can give them. You will receive abundance for your giving. The more you give—the more you will have!

Give a smile to everyone you meet (smile with your eyes)—and you’ll smile and receive smiles.

Give a kind word (with a kindly thought behind the word)—you will be kind and receive kind words.

 Give honor, credit and applause (the victor’s wreath)—you will be honorable and receive credit and applause.

Give time for a worthy cause (with eagerness)—you will be worthy and richly rewarded.

Give hope (the magic ingredient for success)—you will have hope and be made hopeful.

Give happiness (a most treasured state of mind)—you will be happy and be made happy.

Give encouragement (the incentive to action)—you will have courage and be encouraged.

Give cheer (the verbal sunshine)—you’ll be cheerful and cheered. 

Give a pleasant response (the neutralizer of irritants)—you will be pleasant and receive pleasant responses.

Give good thoughts (nature’s character builder)—you will be good and the world will have good thoughts for you.

Give prayers (the instrument of miracles) for the godless and the godly—you will be reverent and receive blessings, more than you deserve!

Be generous! Give!

~W. Clement Stone

Marry YourSelf First Every Day in Every Way!

Do you have a Power Mantra?

Better yet, as you may be asking,
what IS a Power Mantra?

Think: An affirmation on steroids!

Several of you who’ve attended my
workshops asked about mine,
so here it is in its entirety:

Every moment of every day,
I get better and better in every way…
A better body, a better mind;
a better Spirit in all that I find…
Better friends and better work,
and at core:
I find better self-worth!

Every moment of every day,
I get richer and richer in every way…
A richer body, a richer mind;
a richer Spirit in all I do find…
Richness in my friends and richness at work,
and again at the core:
I find the richest self-worth!
 
Every moment of every day,
I get stronger and stronger in every way…
A stronger body, a stronger mind,
a stronger Spirit in all that I find…
The strongest friends and strength at my work,
and deep in my core:
I find my strongest self-worth!
 
Every moment of every day,
I get wiser and wiser in every way…
A wiser body, a wiser mind;
a wiser Spirit in all I do find…
Wiser friends and wisdom at my work,
and deep down in my core:
I find the wisest self-worth!
Now, go create one for yourself!!

And Marry YourSelf First Every Day!

And leave a comment below…