(This is written for men, but ladies, feel free to read it as well.)

I see men every week in my practice who struggle with anxiety. And I know there are millions who are also suffering unnecessarily because they don’t understand what’s going on with them or are too resistant to seek out help. I too have struggled with this dreaded and unpredictable angst and I know the effects first hand both on me as a person, and as a man.

For too long we have wrestled with the stigmas of mental health issues and all the varied diagnosis. Many of us have taken on beliefs that “we’re showing our weakness if we have to ask for help.”

Nothing could be further from the truth.

It takes courage and strength to ask for help and commit to overcome anxiety. And for what it’s worth, there are, and have been, many other men who’ve wrestled with the same demons of anxiety. And many who have overcome.

Here’s a few you’ve probably heard of:

1. Abraham Lincoln – President
2. Al Kasha – Songwriter
3. Alfred Lord Tennyson – Poet
4. Anthony Hopkins – Actor
5. Burt Reynolds – Actor
6. Charles Schultz – Cartoonist
7. Dave Stewart – Singer of Eurythmics
8. David Bowie – Singer
9. Dean Cain – Actor
10. Dick Clark – Television Personality
11. Donny Osmond – Singer/Actor
12. Earl Campbell -Heisman  Trophy Winner
13. Edvard Munch – Artist
14. Eric Clapton – Musician
15. Howard Stern – “King of Media”
16. Howie Mandel – Comic
17. Isaac Asimov – Author
18. James Garner – Actor
19. Jim Eisenreich – Baseball
20. John Candy – Comedian
21. John Cougar Mellencamp – Musician/Actor
22. John Madden – Sports Announcer
23. John Steinbeck – Author
24. John Stuart Mill – Philosopher
25. Johnny Depp – Actor
26. Michael Crichton – Writer
27. Michael English – Gospel Artist
28. Michael Jackson-  Singer
29. Nicholas Cage-  Actor
30. Nikola Tesla – Inventor
31. Pete Harnisch – Baseball
32. Ray Charles – Musician
33. Robert Burns – Poet
34. Robert McFarlane – Former U.S. National Security Advisor
35. Sam Shepard – Playwright
36. Sigmund Freud – Psychiatrist
37. Sir Isaac Newton – Scientist
38. Sir Laurence Olivier – Actor
39. Tom Snyder – Host
40. Tony Dow – Actor, Director
41. W.B. Yeats – Poet
42. Willard Scott – Weatherman

The REALLY good news is that there is effective treatment for anxiety and quite frankly, it’s one of the simplest issues to address and correct.

But here are some rather alarming statistics about anxiety:

• Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18.1% of U.S. population).

• Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a year, almost one-third of the country’s $148 billion total mental health bill.

• More than $22.84 billion of those costs are associated with the repeated use of health care services; people with anxiety disorders seek relief for symptoms that mimic physical illnesses.

• People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.

(~The Anxiety Disorders Association of America)

Whether you’re male or female, you don’t have to suffer.

But guys, let go of the machismo and ask for help. You’ll be happier than ever that you did.

And you’ll join the long list of other men who have done the same.

Call me…let’s get started today..(727) 394-7325

Marry YourSelf First!…Today and every day!

“Life is full of risks anyway, why not take them?”~ Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is in the news again and besides the obvious and disturbing chain of events that she has imposed upon herself, this does make for an interesting case study about mental health, addiction and overall life balance.

Lindsay has had a couple of arrests and has been in and out of treatment for her mental health and substance abuse issues. One may think that someone who has this potential as a movie star would make choices to “clean up” their life.

Not that she has been the first “star” to succumb to drugs and alcohol.

In fact, it happens every day.

We every day people just don’t always hear about it.

But what are the big lessons here? What can we all learn from this (including Lindsay, hopefully!)?

1.) Drug and alcohol misuse, abuse and addiction are still alive and well. In spite of there being less news about these trends, they are still progressing in an expanding direction. For example, the prescription pain-killer epidemic is like the heroin craze from the 60s and 70s.

2.) Denial is king when it comes to addiction. Denial has many different variations. Minimizing, justifying, rationalizing, blaming others and intellectualizing are just a few of the different variations. The bottom-line is that denial is the #1 most common and powerful characteristic of any and all addictive behavior.

3.) Sometimes it’s not just addiction. There have been numerous reports that Lindsay is also suffering from clinical depression or bi-polar disorder. We’ll probably never know as that information is kept confidential. Nor do we need to know.

But here’s something to consider: People often turn to drugs and alcohol as an attempt to self-medicate themselves from ailments like depression, anxiety, panic and unresolved trauma. This is commonly referred to as “double trouble” as the combination of any of these emotional conditions with drugs or alcohol creates a negative synergistic result that can be deadly.

4.)  Don’t expect help to come knocking at your door. Usually the only time we really hear about drug and alcohol problems is when a celebrity has a problem and the media picks it up and reports on it. We are, in general, poorly equipped to know what to do with addiction. Additionally, and this is a bit of a kicker, many people are in denial about denial. People just don’t want to know and, therefore, don’t know what to do when the problem shows up in their friends, family or in themselves.

The good news is that recovery is not only possible, it’s actually quite simple.

However, don’t confuse simple with easy.

It’s not “easy” to break the addictive patterns of drugs and alcohol. The addictive energy is very powerful and will “fight” to stay alive. The people of Alcoholics Anonymous refer to this energy as “cunning, powerful and baffling.”

Here are the foundational, and simple, pieces to healthy and successful recovery from addiction, as well as the path to the best mental health:

• The Beatles said it best: I get by with a little help from my friends. Your support system is where you can go to talk about you and your challenges. They will hold you, hug you and love you, AND they will kick you in the butt when you need it. If you don’t have a solid support system, today is a good day to start.
• Balance: Know when your life is in balance and know when it’s out. Know the indicators.
• Boundaries: Create solid boundaries with others and with yourself. Boundaries are the core to a balanced life.  Know what to say “Yes” to and know what to say “No” to.
• Bliss: Know your life purpose and be passionate about it. Find and live your bliss in life.

Yes, Lindsay Lohan is in a tough situation. And let’s hope she gets it together.  More importantly, YOU have a chance now to review your life, make adjustments and make sure you create an “anti-addiction” life and the best mental health possible.

And, of course, you’ll create maximum life balance too.

Today is a good day to Marry YourSelf First!

More from Ken Donaldson here…

“Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished.  If you’re alive, it isn’t.”  ~Richard Bach

Every day I hear people asking me this question, “Why am I so messed up?”

They don’t always say just exactly those words, although sometimes they do, but they say something similar and definitely with the same meaning.

So, why are WE so messed up?

The good news is that it all comes down to two things:

1.)   We don’t know what to do.

2.)   We just don’t do what we know to do.

Nice to know it’s that simple, right?!!

Let’s look at the first, the “We don’t know what to do” syndrome.

Why would you know what to do?…who taught you?…where did you learn from?

See, most people have extreme emotional and relational deficits. Unless you went to some very, very non-mainstream school, you never had classes that taught you any of this. And because very few people really learned the art of handling emotions and relationships effectively, then it only makes sense that they would pass their deficits on to their children.

So it’s easy to see and understand the “We don’t know what to do” syndrome.

Which brings us to number two: We just don’t do what we know to do.

This is the real kicker and here’s why: There are so many resources today to help people improve their lives. And much of it is absolutely free. Go to YouTube and you will find hours and hours of free, good coaching and education on emotional and relationship management. All free!

Do a Google search and you’ll find websites, blogs and forums that you can participate in and have ongoing conversations to seek out answers to all your challenges.

And if you’re willing to invest a few bucks in yourself, you can invest in books or audio and video programs that will bring the experts right into your home or office.

And if you want to go full out, then you can actually hire a professional coach or counselor to give you the 1:1 guidance you want to improve your life and relationships.

But everyone probably knows all this and they still just don’t do what they know to do.

Why?

It can only be one of a very few things:

1.)   Denial: “I don’t have any issues…really.”

2.)   Minimization: “It’s not that big of a deal.” (Which is a form of denial.)

3.)   Cynicism and blame: “Sure, I’ll change when she changes.”

4.)   Stupidity: “Duh.” (This doesn’t actually exist; some people just pretend that it does.)

So the REAL question is this: How badly do you want to improve your life?

Or maybe this one: How much pain, heartache, misery or depression do you want to endure in your life?

Yes, challenges are definitely part of life, but pain, heartache, misery and depression are all optional.

But it all comes back to you.

YOU have to choose to want a better life.

YOU have to choose to want better relationships.

YOU have to choose to want a better career path.

YOU have to choose to want better health.

YOU have to choose to want a better spiritual connection.

YOU have to choose to want better friends.

YOU have to choose to want a better you.

The really good news is that YOU are in total control of all that.

The next question is: When will you start?

If you want to be a victor, you must release being a victim!

“I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.”  ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Marry YourSelf First!…Today!

What do life purpose, vision, legacy, values, priorities, spirituality, integrity, the Law of Attraction, giving anonymously, boundaries, communication, support networks, personal growth, getting finished with the past, “being your being”, going with the flow of life, silliness, deliberate breathing, conscious walking and being perfectly imperfect all have in common with each other?

They are the foundational pieces of your ultimate life, the best relationships and having extraordinary passion for your work!

Watch this and then go live it!

Leave your comments below.

Marry YourSelf First NOW!

Want more passion, power, purpose and prosperity in your life? Here’s the official Ken Donaldson Marry YourSelf First!^® 20 Core Success Principles to Create Your Ultimate Life, Relationships and Career!

#1 Allow your life purpose to be the flashlight to keep you on the pathway of your life.

#2 Create your vision and you’ll have the magnet that will pull you into your ultimate and utmost future.

#3 Allow your values and priorities to be the guides on your path that will keep you going in the direction of your purpose and your vision.

#4 Create and live your legacy today.

#5 Live by the Law of Attraction and put your focus, energy, emotions AND action toward what you truly desire in this lifetime.

#6 Give unconditionally and anonymously.

#7 Practice the daily rituals that evoke your unique spirituality and invite your True Essence and your Highest Self to shine.

#8 Know and live by your deal-makers and deal-breakers.

#9 Discern between accepting and settling. Accept what you cannot change, but never settle for anything below your standards.

#10 Live by your integrity, and allow yourself to be true to you first and foremost.

#11 Know, practice and learn from your boundaries (proactive and reactive, inner and outer), and by doing so you allow yourself to be in your power, in the present moment and in the highest degree of balance possible.

#12 Find and use the support networks that encourage your passion, power, purpose and prosperity, and invite your whole self to shine.

#13 Learn the communication strategies and tactics that will further empower you, reinforce your boundaries and fulfill all your needs.

#14 Understand and live in accordance with the relationship developmental process. In doing so you’ll have the closest relationships only with those who truly support, accept and encourage you.

#15 Always be willing to step out of your comfort zone to promote growth, change and unlimited possibility into your life.

#16 Commit to finalize all your unfinished business from the past and in doing so allow yourself to be present in the present.

#17 Separate “who you are” – your being – from “what you do” your doing – and choose to live more from your being state.

#18 Learn to go with the flow in life. Navigate through and around the challenging times and be focused on the journey, not the destination.

#19 Practice frequent silliness, deliberate breathing and conscious walking, all to give yourself the proactive medicine of health and well-being.

#20 Recognize, accept and embrace the perfect imperfection of you.

Any questions ( leave them below, as well as any comments you might have)?

Now…go live your life to the fullest…more passion…more power…more purpose…and more prosperity!

It’s time for YOU to get with the Marry YourSelf First! movement