I visited my friends at Fox 13 again last week to discuss The Healing Power of Live.

Included in the conversation was Psychoneuroimmunology (a BIG $.50 word!),  Norman Cousins and Anatomy of an Illness,  Dr. Bernie Segal from Love, Medicine and Miracles, Dr. Larry Dossey and his book Healing Words and Gerald Jampolsky from Attitudinal Healing International.

We were even able to bring some of the core Marry YourSelf First principles into the discussion.

Does love have some “secret” healing power?

We thought so based scientific information and from a couple viewer comments.

What do you think? Feel free to leave a comment below…

More from Ken Donaldson…

Marry YourSelf First!

Whether you’re single, in a relationship or perhaps coming out of a relationship, it’s always good to know the primary relationship building blocks…right?!!

Over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to work with and/or interview thousands of people and ask them about their relationships.

I’ve noticed some trends in the happier, healthier and longer lasting relationships: The individuals in those relationships have some very clear traits and behaviors that separated them from the rest.

Want to know what they are?

Here you go:

The 12 Steps to Proactively Creating a Divorce-Proof Marriage

1.) Know yourself, trust yourself and like yourself first!

• Define your Life Purpose

• Discern and live by your Values and Priorities

• Create your Life Vision and Life Mission Statement

• Develop a Legacy that will live forever

2.) Create a Balanced Lifestyle

• Set Boundaries and eliminate energy drains

• Create a proactive Self Maintenance program

• Evaluate and Inventory your lifestyle weekly

3.) Surround yourself with Supportive Networks and Communities

• Seek out like-minded and like-valued people

• Create Accountability agreements with others

• Avoid negative situations and environments

4.) Know your Requirements and Needs

• Create and live by your “Deal Makers” and “Deal Breakers”

• Make direct requests to get your needs met

• Always be true to yourself

5.) Take your work in life seriously, but take life lightly

• Practice being flexible, fluid, and accepting

• Avoid trying to “push the river”

• Express your passion in life with the utmost of passion

6.) Understand the healthy romantic relationship developmental process

• Create the criteria for your Life Partner

• Develop “Screening” and “Testing” strategies

• Use your support system for feedback and input

7.) Define your personal Spirituality

• Discover and walk your Spiritual Path

• Practice daily acts to activate your “Highest Self”

• Accept life on life’s terms

8.) Be perfectly imperfect

• Know your character challenges and work to strengthen those areas

• Accept all your errors, mis-takes and failures

• Practice non-judgment of yourself and all others

9.) Live from Abundance

• Practice daily acts of ‘Random Kindness”

• Develop a “Pay it Forward” system in your life

• Create an affirming, fear-less inner dialogue

10.) Be an Excellent Communicator

 • Practice Active Listening as often as possible

• Commit to creating a “Win-Win” outcome with others

• Learn to process emotions, conflict and disagreements

 11.) Get out of your comfort zone

• Learn to accept all your uncomfortable feelings and emotions

• Practice deliberate daily acts of new behavior

• Celebrate discomfort as healthy growth and development

12.) Consciously Breathe and Smile

• Learn to be Silly (use a clown nose if you need too!!)

• Develop Breathing Exercises to enhance your Mind, Body, Heart and Soul

• Smile until you are happy

And if you like this, you’re going to love the workshop this Saturday:

Love YourSelf Before You Love Again

Saturday, November 13th, 9 A.M. – 5 P.M.

Cost: $27 if prepaid, $37 at the door (and includes lunch!!)

FAMILY RESOURCES
5180 62nd Avenue North
Pinellas Park, FL 33781.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER OR CALL 866.600.6064.

Read more from Ken Donaldson…

I had a fire to put out last Thursday.

A REAL fire.

Evidently some trees rubbed my power line to the point of creating an open line and all the lights started to flash in my house, the backup battery systems started to beep and finally there was a puff of smoke followed by sparks and then an outlet burst into flames.

Wow…all before 9 a.m.!

I was fortunate to be here at home and not at my office, otherwise, I may not be writing this today as I’m sure there would have been a significant fire.

Yes, I am VERY grateful.

But I noticed something as all this was going on.

I noticed how calm I was.

I’m not meaning to brag, but I have to say that I impressed myself.

I guess all those years of deep breathing, meditation, positive thinking, mental reframing and self-hypnosis paid off.

I think I’ll keep practicing what I’ve been doing…it seems to be working.

All of which brings me to a question: How are you at “putting out fires?”

This term of speech, “putting out fires”, typically means responding to crisis, conflict, unexpected surprises or, as some call it, the “do-do” of life.

How are you at all of that?

I’ve noticed that there are four basic types of responses:

Freeze: These are the people who are the proverbial “deer in the headlights” reactors. They get immediately overwhelmed and their emotions override their intellect and wisdom. They don’t take action. They don’t do anything. They freeze.

Fight: Some people are so reactive that when anything is the least bit upsetting their emotions go into full tilt overdrive. They get angry, frustrated, irritated or just go into a rage. Their action is irrational and often inappropriate. They instantly burn the bridges between themselves and others. These are the “reactors” of life.

Flight: They run. They run more. They keep running. Sometimes they forget what they’re running from. Their emotional response is such that they instantly see things as “life threatening” and obviously overreact by running. These are the conflict avoiders of life.

Fix: These people stop, pause, think, analyze and then go into action. Although their emotions are present, they are able to keep their emotions in check. Their intellect and wisdom override their emotions. They go into rational action and stay focused until they have completed the task to the best of their ability.

Which are you?

I can honestly tell you that I have been all four at one time or another in my life.

Today, fortunately, I do my best to stay in the latter category. I stop, pause, think and respond.

It’s very easy to allow one’s emotions to make their decisions. Emotions are very powerful and very helpful in many ways, but NOT to make decisions with…especially the super important decisions.

In my case, I had an impulse to throw water on the fire, since I know that water puts out fire. However, if you throw water on electrical fires, you can create many more problems.

I wonder how many people in life react and “throw water on an electrical fire.”

I have learned over the years that when I practice meditation and Qigong breathing, I seem to have better control over emotional situations. I can’t tell that I really know how that all works, all I know is that it works for me.

I also have a very empowering mantra:

Every moment of every day, I get better and better in every way.
Every moment of every day, I get richer and richer in every way.
Every moment of every day, I get stronger and stronger in every way.
Every moment of every day, I get wiser and wiser in every way.

I think there’s a part of me that actually has begun to fully believe that message.

It’s only taken 53 years….and I know it’ll get better and better every day…in every way!

As somewhat of an aside, I was also quite surprised with the power company’s seemingly lack of concern that my house could have burned down. I found it alarming that the customer service representative wanted to tell me all about their policies and procedures. She also said she would get back to me regarding having the trees trimmed.

It’s been three days now. I have a feeling I won’t hear back.

No worries, I’ll write a nice letter to the CEO. Don’t really like to do that, but have found that that is sometimes the only path to any resolution.

I bring this issue up for only one reason: Integrity.

How is your integrity? Are you living at your highest standards? Are you “your living word”? Are you “being whole” with yourself?

So, a few things for you to ponder: Fires, emotions, meditation, integrity.

I think it’s called “Life”, or as one of my older and wiser clients says, “It all comes with the birth certificate.”

Feel free to leave a comment below.

And today is a good day to Marry YourSelf First!

What do life purpose, vision, legacy, values, priorities, spirituality, integrity, the Law of Attraction, giving anonymously, boundaries, communication, support networks, personal growth, getting finished with the past, “being your being”, going with the flow of life, silliness, deliberate breathing, conscious walking and being perfectly imperfect all have in common with each other?

They are the foundational pieces of your ultimate life, the best relationships and having extraordinary passion for your work!

Watch this and then go live it!

Leave your comments below.

Marry YourSelf First NOW!

The Independence Day Movie…just for YOU!!

Independence Day

Sometimes I’m happy…..sometimes so sad

And times of bliss and sometimes just damn mad

I jump for joy….I’m wretched in pain

I have ecstatic moments and times of shame

I’m courageous at times and at times, I fear

I feel so sure….and doubt seems so near

An elated tear and a tear of grief

Confidence abounds, yet fear finds no relief

This is the package of this here life

From the pinnacle of joy to the valley of strife

It all adds color, but sometimes it’s black

Yet rainbows burst forth…emotions never lack

This roller coaster we can simply embrace

Not one single feeling must we ever disgrace

These are expressions form the depths of our Soul

It’s the Yin and the Yang of what makes us whole

So today I do say, “Know what you feel!!”

And embrace every feeling…you see, it’s part of the deal

Our feelings do tell us one thing for sure

We’re alive, yes alive, with emotion so pure

So on this fine day of Independence we say

Embrace yourself wholly as you sing, walk and pray

Realize the freedom you have to express

Now express every feeling and then get some rest!

Yes, express your emotions, and deny not a one

Be Independent like the moon, stars, earth and sun…

~ By Ken Donaldson…and made for you and your loved ones!

P.S. Today is a good day to Marry YourSelf First!