Ken Donaldson, Marry YourSelf First and Your Ultimate Life
Want more passion, power, purpose and prosperity in your life? Here’s the official Ken Donaldson Marry YourSelf First!® 20 Core Success Principles to Create Your Ultimate Life, Relationships and Career!
#1 Allow your life purpose to be the flashlight to keep you on the pathway of your life.
#2 Create your vision and you’ll have the magnet that will pull you into your ultimate and utmost future.
#3 Allow your values and priorities to be the guides on your path that will keep you going in the direction of your purpose and your vision.
#4 Create and live your legacy today.
#5 Live by the Law of Attraction and put your focus, energy, emotions AND action toward what you truly desire in this lifetime.
#6 Give unconditionally and anonymously.
#7 Practice the daily rituals that evoke your unique spirituality and invite your True Essence and your Highest Self to shine.
#8 Know and live by your deal-makers and deal-breakers.
#9 Discern between accepting and settling. Accept what you cannot change, but never settle for anything below your standards.
#10 Live by your integrity, and allow yourself to be true to you first and foremost.
#11 Know, practice and learn from your boundaries (proactive and reactive, inner and outer), and by doing so you allow yourself to be in your power, in the present moment and in the highest degree of balance possible.
#12 Find and use the support networks that encourage your passion, power, purpose and prosperity, and invite your whole self to shine.
#13 Learn the communication strategies and tactics that will further empower you, reinforce your boundaries and fulfill all your needs.
#14 Understand and live in accordance with the relationship developmental process. In doing so you’ll have the closest relationships only with those who truly support, accept and encourage you.
#15 Always be willing to step out of your comfort zone to promote growth, change and unlimited possibility into your life.
#16 Commit to finalize all your unfinished business from the past and in doing so allow yourself to be present in the present.
#17 Separate “who you are” – your being – from “what you do” your doing – and choose to live more from your being state.
#18 Learn to go with the flow in life. Navigate through and around the challenging times and be focused on the journey, not the destination.
#19 Practice frequent silliness, deliberate breathing and conscious walking, all to give yourself the proactive medicine of health and well-being.
#20 Recognize, accept and embrace the perfect imperfection of you.
Any questions ( leave them below, as well as any comments you might have)?
Now…go live your life to the fullest…more passion…more power…more purpose…and more prosperity!
It’s time for YOU to get with the Marry YourSelf First! movement
Relationship Counselor Ken Donaldson: You, Me and the Space Between We
“Man is a knot into which relationships are tied.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
How much weight do your relationships have on your life? How about “mucho-mucho”!
However, relationships are very challenging for most people. Here’s the evidence:
As you know, about 50% of first time marriages end in divorce.
You may not know that second timers have a 60% divorce rate and third timers have a 70% divorce rate.
(FYI: Getting a different partner does not seem to be the solution).
Additionally, one in three women will be physically abused by a partner at some point in her life. That is a very conservative number as most abuse is never reported.
So, obviously, the “We” part of this equation is lacking something.
Let’s also look at the “You” and “Me” parts as well:
About 10% of our population meets the criteria for alcoholism.
Another 10% is drug addicted.
Also, about 10% are clinically depressed.
Another 10% meet the clinical criteria for an anxiety disorder.
So let’s stop right there for a moment…good time to take a deep breath in…and a deep breath out.
What does this all say? Simple: Not only do we not know what to give to our relationships to help them flourish and grow, we don’t even know what to give to ourselves!
To say that we have a lack of coping skills would be an exaggerated understatement.
We have a serious problem is what we have!
And here’s even worse news: Our politicians in Washington are not going to fix this for us.
Therefore, it’s up to us…each and every one of us!
Think about this for a moment: Imagine there was a number of TV shows that were designed to create dramatic change in our country. Imagine that was the only purpose of these shows…only to create dramatic change.
Every week there would be a focus on something new to change. Something positive that would help individuals and families. And every week there would be a challenge to the viewers: See how much positive change you can create this week. People who create massive positive change would be featured.
But wait…there’s more!
Imagine that we integrated into our school system, first and foremost, curriculum that was specifically designed to help students improve the following:
• Stress Management Skills
• Assertiveness
• Boundary Setting
• Self-Esteem Building
• Team Building
• Relationship Skills
Whoa! What would happen if this was the primary focus of school and THEN we worked on reading, writing and arithmetic?
Yes, imagine what this would do to the previously mentioned divorce, addiction and mental health numbers.
Yes…imagine!
But know this: Everything that has ever been created or invented started in the imagination.
Every idea went from imagination to possibility, and then to a burning desire to create it, followed by a magnificent obsession to make sure it happened.
So here’s the question to YOU: What will YOU do to make this happen?
Until the media shows up with such a series of shows and until the education system transforms its learning styles, it’s up to you and me to make these changes.
What will you do today to help transform You, Me and the Space Between We?
Want more life balance? Then upgrade your relationship skills. Then, go do something yourself to help change things for the positive…that’ll give your life more balance too!
“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough
Marry YourSelf First Today!
And Feel Free To Leave A Comment…Or Two!
Ken Donaldson: D.W. Waters Graduating Class and I Dare You…Too!
Ken Donaldson Keynote at D.W. Waters Graduation
I had the privilege and honor on this past Thursday evening of delivering the graduation keynote for the D.W. Waters class of 2010.
Just to give you a little insight, D.W. Waters’ motto is “It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish that counts!”
No big deal, right?
Wrong!
This is a WAY special class…check out their enrollment criteria:
• At least 16 years of age
• At least one year behind in school
• No record of severe discipline problems
• Wants to focus on a chosen Career Cluster at DWWCC (D. W. Waters Career Center)
• Willing to commit to workplace training (OJT)
These are the students who make “high risk” look like every day living. For whatever reason (pregnancy, emotional and/or learning challenges, abuse, etc.), these courageous young people chose to continue on.
Most of them were so far behind that they couldn’t even imagine catching up, much less graduating.
And it would have been easier to quit!
A group of about 12 students sang the musical selection for the ceremony, I Believe I Can Fly. A perfect song for the students, the school and the event.
Here are the lyrics in case you’re not familiar with song:
“I Believe I Can Fly”
~R. KELLY
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I’m leaning on the everlasting arms
If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh
If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
Hey, cause I believe in me, oh
If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly
Fly-eye-eye
Anyway, I thought long and hard about what to say to them.
So I decided to dare them…yes, I simply dared them…
I dared them to find and be the greatness that they truly are.
I dared them to find their unique purpose and live it every day in every way.
I dared them to find their own personal soul food and to continually, without fail, feed their spirit.
I dare them to figure out, set and maintain the boundaries that will empower them, to say a resounding “Yes” to all they do want, need and desire, and say a resonant “No” to all they will not tolerate.
I dared them to realize that the world needs them today more than ever, and the answers to the world’s problems will not come from Washington or Hollywood, but rather, from each and every one of them.
I dared them to surround themselves with the people who love them, accept them and encourage them, and to step away from those who don’t.
I dared them to tell themselves, time and time again, that they are deserving, gifted and of great value, and to say that to themselves as their powerful and affirming mantra.
I dared them to realize that life is full of unexpected challenges (I mentioned this as a very young child in the audience began to express herself in a very assertive way!) and one of the greatest gifts we can all give to ourselves is the gift of humor, which allows us to be flexible and fluid as we navigate down the river of life.
I dared them to remind that person in the mirror of their greatness, their importance, their value and their purpose, time and time and time again.
Yes, I simply dared them to be great.
Them, their parents, their friends, the teachers, and everyone else who was there on Thursday…I dared them all.
But the greatest dare I addressed was the dare to myself…to live what I said; to practice what I preached; to be the model of the dare.
What about you…have you dared yourself lately?
I dare you…
PS I hope to have a video of the whole presentation soon…I think it’ll worth watching…stay tuned!
Ken at D.W. Waters with another Marry YourSelf First fan!
Marry YourSelf First!
Feel free to leave a comment or two…
Want more love, success and balance in your life? Get to the root of self-sabotaging behavior!
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss
Would you ever deliberately disrupt your balance in life? Turn away love? Destroy success? No, of course not! So, why then, do people seem to engage in self-sabotaging behavior so frequently?
Why is it that someone would choose to do something they know, based on past experience, would NOT have a good outcome. In fact, why would someone choose to do something they know would have a negative outcome?
Are they insane?
No…of course not!
They just can’t see what they can’t see.
In other words, people don’t truly see the cause, or the roots, of “self-sabotaging” behavior.
It’s hidden…buried…deep beneath the surface.
Much like the, yes, roots of a tree: You can’t see them, but you know they exist because that’s what feeds the tree.
You too have roots that are buried that you may not be seeing fully.
SO…if there are certain behaviors that keep appearing in your life, disrupting your work life balance (and perhaps everything else!), it’s time for you to take a deeper look.
Start here with a very simple, but powerful, self-inventory:
1.) Review your childhood. What messages did you receive, directly or indirectly, from your primary caretakers (parents, teachers, church, sitters, etc.)?
2.) Were there events that occurred early in your life that may have dramatically influenced how you felt about yourself, felt about others and/or felt about life in general?
3.) Have there been recurring patterns of self-destructive or self-limiting behaviors in your life?
Add all this together and what you’ll probably see are some patterns…these are the influences that could very well be occurring beneath the surface in the subconscious part of your mind.
And the subconscious, much like the roots of a tree, is buried beneath the surface.
You can’t see it, but you can see the results: Self–sabotaging behaviors.
There are only a few basic beliefs that get formed in the subconscious that are problematic. Here they are:
1.) “I’m afraid of failing so I either try to be perfect or I don’t try at all.”
2.) “I’m afraid of rejection so I either do everything to keep people close to me (including rejecting my own values and boundaries) or I just settle for second-class relationships because I know they won’t leave me.”
3.) “I’m afraid of change so I do everything to maintain “status quo” including avoiding opportunities to advance myself because that would require change. I try to stay as invisible as possible.”
4.) “I’m afraid of success because I think I either can’t handle it or I’ll mess it up, so I do everything I can to avoid success, including “self-sabotaging” behavior.”
Do you see yourself anywhere in there?
If so, here’s what you do, plain and simple, if you have any of this funky stuff going on in your “roots”: Do the opposite! That’s right, just do the opposite!
Fear of failing? Go make many, many mistakes…celebrate mistakes!
Fear of rejection? Go let yourself be rejected over and over…celebrate your efforts!
Fear of change? Go try as may new and different things as you can…celebrate your willingness!
Fear of success? Go and do all those things you’ve wanted to do, planned to do or thought about doing. Do them over and over and do NOT allow yourself to quit. Surround yourself with a support system that will cheer you on and never let you quit…celebrate your success!
Break the spell…break the old trance…create new roots.
That’s how it’s done!
Have YOU been your own worst enemy in the past?
Are you ready to start new patterns in your life? For the rest of your life?
Want more love? More success? More happiness? More health? More balance in your life?
Then break the spells that have been operating beneath the surface…make new roots for your tree of life!
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~Winston Churchill
And, of course, Marry YourSelf First!
And Leave Comment Or Two Below!
Time, Take Time and Time Management
![which path do u choose[1]](http://kendonaldson.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/which-path-do-u-choose14-853x1024.jpg "which path do u choose[1]")
I was preparing for a Time Management presentation for my friends at Verizon Wireless earlier this week and, as I often do, I wanted to create something unique and I found this Success vs. Detour comic.
Sometimes in life, if you really want to be at the top of your success, whatever that is for you, you must go off the beaten path, climb over the boulders of impossibility, and blaze your own trail to the top of Mount Success.
Which is also known as Mount Happiness.
Which path do you choose?
I also went online to look around just to see what other people were saying about time management these days.
The first thing I noticed was that Google had over 191,000,000 time management web pages listed!
Now THAT’S a hot topic!
As I was looking around for something new or different, I came across this poem, “Take Time”, and I wanted to share it with you.
I believe it speaks of the priorities of life, which is really how we become the best time, and life, managers: Putting what it is that we most value first!
Take Time
(Author unknown)
Take time to think – thoughts are the source of power.
Take time to play – play is the secret of perpetual youth.
Take time to read – reading is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray – prayer can be a rock of strength in time of need.
Take time to love – loving is what makes living worthwhile.
Take time to be friendly – friendships give life a delicious flavor.
Take time to laugh – laughter is the music of the soul.
Take time to give – sharing brings joy to your heart.
Take time to work – work is the price of success.
Take time to dream – dreams show you what is possible.
Take time to do your work well – pride in your work nourishes the mind and the spirit.
Take time to show appreciation – it’s the frosting on the cake of life.
Here’s the bottom-line: If you want to truly taste the sweet fruit of life, you have to first decide what it is you truly value and keep that always as your top priority. Create the boundaries to enhance it and protect it.
AND, you’ll probably be required to go the extra mile and off the beaten path.
Remember: The fruit is at the end of the limb, so when you go out on that limb and it feels scary and shaky, just know that you’re right on target and that much closer to the fruit you desire…and deserve!
And Always Marry YourSelf First!
Thoughts? Leave a comment below!
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