Ken Donaldson and The Quarter Hoarder

Ken Donaldson and The Quarter HoarderI think we have to be not so afraid of scarcity. We have to be willing to give away all things.” ~Sharon Stone

Here’s a story about the dangers of hoarding, but probably not what you’re thinking.

Let me explain…

First let’s get a definition clarified.

Hoard: To collect and store, often secretly and usually unnecessarily, large amounts of things, such as food or money, for future use.

So there I was in downtown St. Petersburg on a beautiful Sunday morning having a nice time with a friend of mine.

However, there are these things called parking meters that require a certain amount of feeding every so often and the one where I parked was getting hungry and was going to run out of time soon.

(Silly me; I didn’t pre-plan to bring quarters…I wonder how many other people have had the same experience on a relaxing Sunday – “I don’t have to think about anything”- morning??)

So I simply asked the waitress if she might have some change I could exchange with her for some dollar bills.

“No…I don’t.”

Okay, so then I got very tactical and asked, “What about the cash register, could you maybe get some change from it?”

“No…we don’t have any extra change.”

Okay, so you’re probably getting a sense of what I might be thinking and feeling at this point, right?!!

How could a business open on a Sunday morning NOT have change?

There could only be one answer: They were hoarding!

(Well, at least that’s the one answer I came up with.)

So during the course of our stay there, our waitress came to our table several times asking if there was anything else we needed.

Half kiddingly (and half very seriously), I responded the same every time, “Do you have any change yet?”

I will say that she was consistent (I think maybe that means she had good boundaries, right?) with her responses, “No,” every time.

So finally I decided that I would need to go to some other places to find some change, but I figured I might have a chance to “pull a quick one” when I paid for the bill.

I walked up to the bar and placed a $20 bill on top of the bill and asked (again) really nicely, “Might you have some extra change?”

Our waitress asked the apparent manager (and now the seeming quarter hoarder) if she could use some of their quarters for my change.

The manager, somewhat begrudgingly, said yes.

So I guess you could say my persistence paid off.

But I believe there are a couple bigger lessons here.

Lesson #1 is about planning.

Any business in downtown St. Petersburg open on Sunday morning should know that there are parking meters and there are bound to be people like myself that are in a very relaxed Sunday mode and may not even think to bring change.

I believe that would be categorized as “good proactive customer service.”

Lesson #2 is something that can be paralyzing if not consciously seen and addressed. 

It’s what I call “The Scarcity Myth.”

It’s the fear of not having enough.

In this rather benign situation, it was the fear of not having enough change to make it through the day.

(Of course, this is only an assumption on my behalf.)

But let’s look at this a bit deeper:

  • Many people fear that there’s not enough love, so they often settle for a relationship beneath their standards and end up creating unnecessary pain and heartache, which could have been easily avoided if they had not let the scarcity fear rule.
  • Many people fear that there is not enough time, so they spend their time in a chaotic fervor trying to “do” as much as they can oftentimes much to expense of their health and relationships, both of which could easily be enhanced if they simply prioritized their life and lived according to their priorities (and values).
  • Many people fear that there are not enough opportunities in life so they settle for a job or a career path that slowly drains their passion, energy and optimism for life, and slowly and unconsciously turns them into a rigid, pessimistic and sarcastic cynic.

Yep, the scarcity fear does all that and probably much, much more.

So what’s the moral of the story?

Don’t be a quarter hoarder…be a quarter supporter!

Meaning that it’s always good to plan ahead (lesson #1) and when the opportunity comes, give as freely as you can (lesson #2).

When you hold on to something out of fear, you block energy from flowing to you and you can easily create a self-fulfilling prophecy in which what you fear can become that much truer.

However, when you put trust in the Universe (by the way, the Universe is endless as far as we can tell at this point…slightly “abundant” I would have to conclude) you allow the Universal energy to flow to you.

I know…it takes faith and trust, both of which may be big steps at times.

But what’s the option? Being a quarter hoarder?

Naw!!…be a quarter supporter…start today!

There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there’s only scarcity of resolve to make it happen.” ~Wayne Dyer

P.S. After proof-reading this, my assistant just reminded me of lesson #3…Always carry extra quarters in your car.

Yeah, I guess I could have planned ahead too, right?!!

 

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Relationship Counselor Ken Donaldson: Is Divorce Contagious?

My friends at Fox News 13 Good Day Tampa Bay wanted to know my thoughts about this.

What do you think?

Leave a comment below.

Today is THE day: Marry YourSelf First!

Ken Donaldson Answers:Why Am I So Messed Up?

Relationship Counselor Ken Donaldson and Marry Your Self First“Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished.  If you’re alive, it isn’t.”  ~Richard Bach

Every day I hear people asking me this question, “Why am I so messed up?”

They don’t always say just exactly those words, although sometimes they do, but they say something similar and definitely with the same meaning.

So, why are WE so messed up?

The good news is that it all comes down to two things:

1.)   We don’t know what to do.

2.)   We just don’t do what we know to do.

Nice to know it’s that simple, right?!!

Let’s look at the first, the “We don’t know what to do” syndrome.

Why would you know what to do?…who taught you?…where did you learn from?

See, most people have extreme emotional and relational deficits. Unless you went to some very, very non-mainstream school, you never had classes that taught you any of this. And because very few people really learned the art of handling emotions and relationships effectively, then it only makes sense that they would pass their deficits on to their children.

So it’s easy to see and understand the “We don’t know what to do” syndrome.

Which brings us to number two: We just don’t do what we know to do.

This is the real kicker and here’s why: There are so many resources today to help people improve their lives. And much of it is absolutely free. Go to YouTube and you will find hours and hours of free, good coaching and education on emotional and relationship management. All free!

Do a Google search and you’ll find websites, blogs and forums that you can participate in and have ongoing conversations to seek out answers to all your challenges.

And if you’re willing to invest a few bucks in yourself, you can invest in books or audio and video programs that will bring the experts right into your home or office.

And if you want to go full out, then you can actually hire a professional coach or counselor to give you the 1:1 guidance you want to improve your life and relationships.

But everyone probably knows all this and they still just don’t do what they know to do.

Why?

It can only be one of a very few things:

1.)   Denial: “I don’t have any issues…really.”

2.)   Minimization: “It’s not that big of a deal.” (Which is a form of denial.)

3.)   Cynicism and blame: “Sure, I’ll change when she changes.”

4.)   Stupidity: “Duh.” (This doesn’t actually exist; some people just pretend that it does.)

So the REAL question is this: How badly do you want to improve your life?

Or maybe this one: How much pain, heartache, misery or depression do you want to endure in your life?

Yes, challenges are definitely part of life, but pain, heartache, misery and depression are all optional.

But it all comes back to you.

YOU have to choose to want a better life.

YOU have to choose to want better relationships.

YOU have to choose to want a better career path.

YOU have to choose to want better health.

YOU have to choose to want a better spiritual connection.

YOU have to choose to want better friends.

YOU have to choose to want a better you.

The really good news is that YOU are in total control of all that.

The next question is: When will you start?

If you want to be a victor, you must release being a victim!

I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.”  ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Marry YourSelf First!…Today!

Ken Donaldson on Your Ultimate Life and Your Best Relationships

What do life purpose, vision, legacy, values, priorities, spirituality, integrity, the Law of Attraction, giving anonymously, boundaries, communication, support networks, personal growth, getting finished with the past, “being your being”, going with the flow of life, silliness, deliberate breathing, conscious walking and being perfectly imperfect all have in common with each other?

They are the foundational pieces of your ultimate life, the best relationships and having extraordinary passion for your work!

Watch this and then go live it!

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Leave your comments below.

Marry YourSelf First NOW!

Ken Donaldson, Marry YourSelf First and Your Ultimate Life

marry yourself first book coverWant more passion, power, purpose and prosperity in your life? Here’s the official Ken Donaldson Marry YourSelf First!® 20 Core Success Principles to Create Your Ultimate Life, Relationships and Career!

#1 Allow your life purpose to be the flashlight to keep you on the pathway of your life.

#2 Create your vision and you’ll have the magnet that will pull you into your ultimate and utmost future.

#3 Allow your values and priorities to be the guides on your path that will keep you going in the direction of your purpose and your vision.

#4 Create and live your legacy today.

#5 Live by the Law of Attraction and put your focus, energy, emotions AND action toward what you truly desire in this lifetime.

#6 Give unconditionally and anonymously.

#7 Practice the daily rituals that evoke your unique spirituality and invite your True Essence and your Highest Self to shine.

#8 Know and live by your deal-makers and deal-breakers.

#9 Discern between accepting and settling. Accept what you cannot change, but never settle for anything below your standards.

#10 Live by your integrity, and allow yourself to be true to you first and foremost.

#11 Know, practice and learn from your boundaries (proactive and reactive, inner and outer), and by doing so you allow yourself to be in your power, in the present moment and in the highest degree of balance possible.

#12 Find and use the support networks that encourage your passion, power, purpose and prosperity, and invite your whole self to shine.

#13 Learn the communication strategies and tactics that will further empower you, reinforce your boundaries and fulfill all your needs.

#14 Understand and live in accordance with the relationship developmental process. In doing so you’ll have the closest relationships only with those who truly support, accept and encourage you.

#15 Always be willing to step out of your comfort zone to promote growth, change and unlimited possibility into your life.

#16 Commit to finalize all your unfinished business from the past and in doing so allow yourself to be present in the present.

#17 Separate “who you are” – your being – from “what you do” your doing – and choose to live more from your being state.

#18 Learn to go with the flow in life. Navigate through and around the challenging times and be focused on the journey, not the destination.

#19 Practice frequent silliness, deliberate breathing and conscious walking, all to give yourself the proactive medicine of health and well-being.

#20 Recognize, accept and embrace the perfect imperfection of you.

Any questions ( leave them below, as well as any comments you might have)?

Now…go live your life to the fullest…more passion…more power…more purpose…and more prosperity!

It’s time for YOU to get with the Marry YourSelf First! movement