Ken Donaldson on GOALS: Go Out And Live Splendidly!
GOALS: Go Out And Live Splendidly!
Your acronym for the day.
When you get down to it, what are goals truly for?
Aren’t they designed for you to live your life fully, happily and with the most and best balance possible?
So, when you’re in the process of “doing” your goals, make them simple and succinct.
Remember that your goals work best when they are in alignment with your mission, vision and purpose (MVP), and your values, integrity and priorities (VIP).
Now, Go Out And Live Splendidly!
And Marry YourSelf First!!
Ken Donaldson: 10 Step Program for Relationship Success
Relationships: Why is it that some people seem to have such ease with them, and other people seem to chronically struggle with them?
Perhaps it’s because some people have prepared themselves and others haven’t.
From my 25 years of experience working with people on the frontlines and in the trenches of their relationship challenges, I have discovered that some people plan and some people don’t.
Sounds too simplistic, doesn’t it?!!
It’s not, as the same rules apply for business. The successful businesses have plans and those that are not successful, don’t.
Simple, yes, but very true.
By now, you’ve heard the saying that “people don’t plan to fail; they just fail to plan.” This saying is most likely the cause of relationship success (and failure).
In fact, there are ten primary factors that I have seen people who are more successful in their relationships use over and over.
Would you like to know what these ten factors are?
Cool!
Maybe the easiest way to introduce them is through a self-evaluation.
Consider this the “10 Step Program for Relationship Success.”
The following evaluation will assist you in assessing your life which, if you didn’t know, is the foundation for all healthy relationships.
At the same time of providing you with helpful feedback to create a happy life and an exciting career, this simple test will direct you to develop the core essentials to create the healthiest relationships possible.
Feel free to share this with your friends, family and loved ones and ask for their input and feedback.
On the following ten items, rate each item using a 0 to 10 scale:
- 8-10: Good; this area of my life is strong and supports my success in life
- 5-7: OK; this area needs to be strengthened for me to be truly successful
- 0-4: Needs Work; this area could stop me from going forward and being successful
1. Vision: I have an exciting Vision for my life and I’m clear where I’m going in life.
2. Purpose: I have a deep understanding of my Life Purpose and the importance of it in my life and in the lives of others I impact.
3. Values and Priorities: I know my values and have taken the time to write down the ten most important values of my life. I also know my day-to-day priorities that keep me focused.
4. Soul Food and Spirituality: I am aware of the activities, people, places and events which energize me and feed my personal spirituality.
5. Boundaries: I am aware of the boundaries I need to keep with myself and I’m confident about setting boundaries with others, all of which support my Vision, Purpose and Values.
6. Support Network: I have a powerful support network I use regularly. I ask for assistance in getting past stuck points and I use the power of the “MasterMind” to generate new ideas and solutions.
7. Life Balance: I regularly evaluate and have a measurable system to check my life balance and I make the necessary adjustments, while also realizing that life is always moving and there is no perfect balance.
8. Communication: I am comfortable using the most assertive communication tactics necessary to get my needs met and my goals accomplished. I especially practice my listening skills as I realize that listening is the most powerful part of effective communication.
9. Living in the Present: I am always focused on being in the present (rather than the past or the future) and I have moved past old hurts, resentments and/or trauma.
10. Flexible: I know that I am “perfectly imperfect” and I use humor, light-heartedness and silliness to manage any and all stress, and I avoid becoming overly serious about anything!
Total your score and let’s see how you did:
80-100= Green Light: You’re on track for highly successful relationships…keep growing forward!
50-79=Yellow Light: There are some areas of your life that need attention in order for you to truly have the relationship you desire.
0-49=RED LIGHT: It’s time to put YOU first and focus on these foundational areas that will support all your future success, especially in your relationships.
There you go: A brand new 10 Step Program for Relationship Success.
Master these ten areas and not only will you have extraordinary relationships, but you’ll also have an extraordinary life.
After all, the two do go together!
Marry YourSelf First!
Coach Ken Donaldson: Healthy, Happy and Lasting Relationship Secrets Uncovered
Whether you’re single, in a relationship or perhaps coming out of a relationship, it’s always good to know the primary relationship building blocks…right?!!
Over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to work with and/or interview thousands of people and ask them about their relationships.
I’ve noticed some trends in the happier, healthier and longer lasting relationships: The individuals in those relationships have some very clear traits and behaviors that separated them from the rest.
Want to know what they are?
Here you go:
The 12 Steps to Proactively Creating a Divorce-Proof Marriage
1.) Know yourself, trust yourself and like yourself first!
• Define your Life Purpose
• Discern and live by your Values and Priorities
• Create your Life Vision and Life Mission Statement
• Develop a Legacy that will live forever
2.) Create a Balanced Lifestyle
• Set Boundaries and eliminate energy drains
• Create a proactive Self Maintenance program
• Evaluate and Inventory your lifestyle weekly
3.) Surround yourself with Supportive Networks and Communities
• Seek out like-minded and like-valued people
• Create Accountability agreements with others
• Avoid negative situations and environments
4.) Know your Requirements and Needs
• Create and live by your “Deal Makers” and “Deal Breakers”
• Make direct requests to get your needs met
• Always be true to yourself
5.) Take your work in life seriously, but take life lightly
• Practice being flexible, fluid, and accepting
• Avoid trying to “push the river”
• Express your passion in life with the utmost of passion
6.) Understand the healthy romantic relationship developmental process
• Create the criteria for your Life Partner
• Develop “Screening” and “Testing” strategies
• Use your support system for feedback and input
7.) Define your personal Spirituality
• Discover and walk your Spiritual Path
• Practice daily acts to activate your “Highest Self”
• Accept life on life’s terms
8.) Be perfectly imperfect
• Know your character challenges and work to strengthen those areas
• Accept all your errors, mis-takes and failures
• Practice non-judgment of yourself and all others
9.) Live from Abundance
• Practice daily acts of ‘Random Kindness”
• Develop a “Pay it Forward” system in your life
• Create an affirming, fear-less inner dialogue
10.) Be an Excellent Communicator
• Practice Active Listening as often as possible
• Commit to creating a “Win-Win” outcome with others
• Learn to process emotions, conflict and disagreements
11.) Get out of your comfort zone
• Learn to accept all your uncomfortable feelings and emotions
• Practice deliberate daily acts of new behavior
• Celebrate discomfort as healthy growth and development
12.) Consciously Breathe and Smile
• Learn to be Silly (use a clown nose if you need too!!)
• Develop Breathing Exercises to enhance your Mind, Body, Heart and Soul
• Smile until you are happy
And if you like this, you’re going to love the workshop this Saturday:
Love YourSelf Before You Love Again
Saturday, November 13th, 9 A.M. – 5 P.M.
Cost: $27 if prepaid, $37 at the door (and includes lunch!!)
FAMILY RESOURCES
5180 62nd Avenue North
Pinellas Park, FL 33781.
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER OR CALL 866.600.6064.
Ken Donaldson and The A-Z of Happy, Healthy and Harmonious Relationships
Here’s a great cheat sheet for your relational intelligence.
• Assertiveness: Say what you mean, mean what you say, and never say it mean.
• Boundaries: With yourself first; then others… ”No” is a complete sentence.
• Communication: Still one of the cornerstones of healthy relationships (See Assertiveness).
• Deal Makers/Deal Breakers: Say “Yes” to your Yes’ and “No” to your No’s.
• Emotional Management: Feel them; Heal them; Deal with them…then move on.
• Focus-Fear-Faith: Do you focus on fear or faith?…your choice.
• God: Is there a spiritual conversation here?
• Humor: Wear a clown nose before every fight …it’ll eliminate most of them.
• Integrity: Be whole, open, honest and forthright.
• Jealousy: Just in case it shows up, know how to deal with it (and any other yucky dynamics too).
• Ken on Call: Always have a coach/counselor you can rely on.
• Logs on the Fire: Keep the passion growing and growing…don’t let the fire go out…ever!
• Most Important: The most important thing is the most important thing…priorities 101.
• NO Blame, Shame or Games!: See integrity.
• Openness: The gateway to the Heart has to be open to let the Love in.
• Purpose: What is the purpose of this relationship? Make it bigger than the two of you.
• Questions: Ask in the direction of the solution, not in the direction of the problem.
• Rituals: Daily, positive, growth-enhancing and fun …got it?!!
• Support Networks: Where/who do you go to for yours? We all need support.
• Tongue-Foo Fighting: Know how to be the bull-fighter of tongue-foo and arguments go away real fast and in a real loving way.
• Understanding: “Do you understand me?” If not, then listen more and deeper.
• Validation: We all want this and it’s often withheld or overlooked…give it away generously!
• Work-Life Balance: See Boundaries and Deal-Makers/Deal Breakers.
• X(Ex)Relationship Baggage: Live in the present not the past…see Ken on Call if you can’t do this.
• Yesterday-Today-Tomorrow: Where do you live… live your best today in today.
• Zealousness: Not too much, not too little, just right in the middle.
And Marry YourSelf First!
Ken Donaldson and The Daily Illuminating Dozen
The Daily Illuminating Dozen:
1. How many smiles did you cause today?
2. How many times, regardless of the fear, apprehension or discomfort, did you say “Yes!” to a bigger opportunity today?
3. How many times today did you ignore things (and people) that you may have normally (and probably irrationally) reacted to in the past?
4. How many times did you connect with the people you love today?
5. How many times did you encourage someone else (who really needed it) today?
6. How many times did you practice good self care (including doing nothing at all) today?
7. How many times did you eat healthy today?
8. How many times did you drink pure, fresh water today (even if you didn’t feel like it)?
9. How many times did you give anonymously (time, energy, talents and money) today?
10. How many people did you educate to help them improve their situation today?
11. How many times did you say something positive to yourself about yourself today?
12. How many unconditional hugs did you share today?
Leave your comments below…
Marry Your Self First!
Marry YourSelf First! Audio
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