Coach Ken Donaldson: I am So Happy That I am Sad
I’m So Happy That I’m Sad?
Sounds weird, right?
Of course…who would be happy about feeling sad?!!
But then again, what if processing sadness was actually healthy?
Well, sadness IS a normal emotion and DOES occur normally and naturally when there is a loss.
So what’s the big deal?
Programming…it’s all in your history and conditioning, which is your programming.
Do you remember what you were told about sadness?
And about crying (which often accompanies sadness)?
For many people, they are told things like:
- Big boys don’t cry.
- Big girls don’t cry.
- Don’t be a baby.
- Act your age.
- Don’t be a wimp.
- Grow up.
- There’s no need to feel sad.
Or the Mac Daddy of them all:
- Keep that up and I’ll give you something to cry about!
It’s no wonder so many people have some difficulty expressing their sadness or even being able to be truly supportive of a friend or acquaintance who is expressing or dealing with sadness.
So…Is it okay to feel sad?
Perhaps if you would give yourself some permission to normalize sadness (that means to make it okay) you’ll find yourself being more comfortable with your own sadness and the sadness of others.
And what would be the benefit of that?
Many people, in an attempt to not feel sadness, self-medicate themselves through activities, events, substances and numerous other behaviors.
In other words, they feel a need to run away from and avoid these feelings.
There is nothing wrong or bad about that as long as it doesn’t lead to anything self-destructive, right?
But too many times, these avoidance tactics become engrained as the “normal” behavior and this often becomes problematic.
It is, in fact, one of THE most predominant forces behind all addictive behavior.
It’s sad (pun slightly intended) that so many people, in attempt to deal with their sadness (or any other undesired emotion), turn to something that temporarily anesthetizes them from their normal, natural and healthy emotions, and then turns into a patterns of destructive coping that can be deadly.
Wow! All because they didn’t want to feel some sadness!
So…can you be happy about feeling sad?
Well, that may be a bit over the top, but how about just being okay with sadness?
Don’t make it anymore than it is.
Think of sadness (and all less then desirable emotional states) as being like clouds in the sky and you’re going to just simply watch them and observe and not have any attachment to them.
Watch them float in and watch them float out.
When you can simply observe sadness, and all other emotions, without attaching any meaning, then you’ll find yourself with no reason to run from them.
You’ll also find yourself creating a new belief about emotions and this belief will be one that you’ve chosen, rather than one that’s been developed via history, conditioning and old programming.
Yes…you can now be happy about feeling sad! After all, it IS ONLY a feeling.