Coach Ken Donaldson on Why Happiness Is A Problem
“If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.” ~Richard Bach
How could happiness possibly be a problem?
At first glance, it shouldn’t be, right?!
But what about people who don’t believe they can truly be happy?
Or those people who think that happiness is only a fleeting experience that often ends up leaving them feeling disappointed when it goes away in its seemingly ever so unexpected and unpredictable ways?
So here are a couple questions to ask yourself about happiness:
- Do you believe you deserve happiness?
- Do you believe happiness can be sustained?
- Do you believe happiness requires management?
- Do you believe happiness can grow and spread like a virus?
- Do you believe happiness can be created…out of anything or nothing at all?
If you answered “Yes” to all five questions, then congratulations…you just passed The Happiness Test.
Take a minute and go a bit deeper on each of the questions…
Question #1: Do you believe you deserve happiness?
Some people don’t. Why? Because somewhere deep down in their belief system they got “programmed” or influenced to believe that they were not worthy and able to receive happiness.
The good news is that anyone who has this “can’t be happy” belief can be “counter-conditioned.”
Yes, you can plant new seeds in the deep crevasses of your mind to make happiness okay, normal, acceptable and even attractive.
Question #2: Do you believe happiness can be sustained?
If you think happiness is something that comes and goes on its own, it’s more luck than skill, and that you have no control or input over happiness, then you need to listen: You have full control of happiness.
Yes, you create it, sustain it and maintain it. The key word (again) is “believe.”
Whatever you believe is your reality.
Hear and see that again: Whatever you believe is your reality.
If you believe happiness can be sustained, then it will be.
But if you believe happiness is more based on luck, then chances are, happiness will not be sustained.
But isn’t it nice to know that you’re in charge of all that?
Question #3: Do you believe happiness requires management?
Perhaps the most difficult management you will ever have is the management between your ears.
That means managing your attitude, thoughts and emotions.
Ever hear the saying, “You are what you ate”?
A.T.E. = Attitude, Thoughts, Emotions.
Yes…you are definitely what you ATE.
You are your attitude, thoughts and emotions; or at least these three inner components will dictate most of, and maybe even all of, your life.
It’s up to you to manage your attitude, thoughts and emotions.
Question #4: Do you believe happiness can grow and spread like a virus?
This is one place where the words “sneezing” and “virus” are actually acceptable.
Preferred, in fact!
When you sneeze happiness and let it spread like a virus to the people around you, you spread the happiness energy.
Happiness is designed to be contagious, so let it spread.
However, you may want to know this: There are some happiness stompers out there who probably answer “No” to some or all of the five questions from The Happiness Test.
And because of their unfortunate negatively tainted believe system, they may actually come across as somewhat anti-happiness.
This is where you can allow ignorance to be a benefit. Pretend like you don’t see them or hear them. Be ignorant about them.
Otherwise, you may allow their anti-happiness attitude to influence you from spreading the happiness virus.
Question #5: Do you believe happiness can be created…out of anything or nothing at all?
Watch a child. Yes, watch how a child is often more fascinated with the box than the present that was in the box.
Watch how a child will smile at the smallest thing.
And sometimes, apparently, this same child will smile at nothing at all.
Part of the happiness factor is to always allow yourself to tap into some of that “kid energy” within you.
We all have it.
Some people, however, have gotten into the “it’s now time to grow up, be serious and act my age” syndrome.
No worries, it’s easy to cure: Go to a playground and swing on a swing.
Yes, go do something that is NON productive.
That’s one way to tap into happiness…out of nothing.
Happiness is a belief and an attitude and you have 100% control of that.
If you have a stressful environment, simply place a clown nose in the middle of that environment and watch what changes: You will!
Now, just think about a clown nose being there and see what changes: You do!
Happiness: It’s an inside game that you can win anytime and all the time…all you have to do is play!