Last night, I connected with the Greater Largo  Library Foundation and went on their 2010 Art Hop & Taste Fest.

I had a great time and captured the evening on a few photos and video clips, including an interview of my new 93 year “old” friend who just started to paint 4 years ago…she’s not “old”…she’s getting younger every day!

See it all here:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Special thanks to Raymond James Financial, Tom and Mary James and the Largo Library.

Remember: Marry YourSelf First!!

Since I’m the relationship counselor and mental health counselor, it’s my responsibility to help you improve your self esteem and help you get more balance in life, right?

So I put together a short video for you entitled: Don’t Ever Quit

Click here to view the embedded video.

Marry YourSelf First!

When funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh…

When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit…

Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns…

And many a failure turns about
When (s)he might have won had (s)he stuck it out…

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt…

And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far…

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst that you must not QUIT.”

~ Author Unknown

Marry YourSelf First! Every Day in Every Way!

You’ve heard of it, right?

Here’s a reminder: Some people thought it was “The Secret.”

You know, “the secret” formula that would bring you riches, fortune and fame.

Well, I actually believed in it…and still do…but not so much…well, not exactly.

Let me explain…

The Law of Attraction was most recently described – more or less –
as “the energy you create and put out into the Universe is the same
energy that will be returned to you.”

It’s also very similar to written an old sacred text: You reap what you sow.

And, as well, it was also written in another older sacred text as:
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
(They spoke and wrote funny way back then.)

Sounds clear, rather simple and, above all, easy, right?

Wrong! Sorry, life doesn’t give us shortcuts.

Although I will, say life does give us “formulas” that work when properly applied.

Look at the word “attraction” for a moment…what do the last 6 letters spell?

If there was any “secret” this is it: A-C-T-I-O-N!!

Massive, targeted, focused action!

And that is where most people fall down.

I have known thousands of people from around the world who have
“semi-applied” the law of attraction, and most of them have gotten little or no response.

Myself included.

Why? We didn’t get into “proper” action.

I asked myself why…and then I went back to what I believe is the real cookbook for the
Law of Attraction…at least for me (and tens of millions of others): Think and Grow Rich.

Napoleon Hill, who I casually refer to as “Uncle Nappy”, did the research for most of his life.
Has asked tens of thousands of people, successful people and unsuccessful people,
what they did to create their success (or lack thereof).

Originally he discovered 13 principles of success, but as he continued to research
throughout his lifetime, he discovered 4 more principles.

Here’s the list, with some minor editing to make the terms a bit more understandable
(they were originally written in the language of the early 1900’s; a bit archaic I thought):

•    Definiteness of Purpose

•    Mastermind Alliance

•    Applying Faith

•    Go the Extra Mile

•    Pleasing Personality

•    Personal Initiative

•    Positive Mental Attitude

•    Balanced Enthusiasm

•    Discipline of the Self

•    Accurate Thinking

•    Controlled Attention: Focus

•    You and Me: Teamwork

•    Reframe Adversity

•    Creative Vision

•    Health Maintenance

•    Budget: Time and Money

•    Attraction Principles

So, after seeing that and reading that, can you see that there’s a whole lot more to this law of attraction stuff!!

That’s why I think, as well as many others, that this has become The (F)Law of Attraction.

People don’t think they have to work at creating their prosperity.

It takes physical AND mental energy…lots of it!!

Ladies and gentlemen, here’s the bottom line: You will have to work for what you want!

Work hard, in fact, and also work smart.

Here’s what I suggest…I call it my “four-step”:

1.    Create a powerfully huge vision for your life

2.    Write out the goals that will fulfill the vision…
SMART Goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time Oriented

3.    Break down the goals into more specific plans and projects

4.    Out of the plans and projects, make action steps: The smallest actions you take, starting today, to be moving towards your vision

THEN, stay in alignment with it all…stay focused…follow Nappy’s 17 principles every day in every way.

You’ll get there if you do all that.

Oh, by the way, Nappy said that only about 5% of the people actually applied all this stuff.
I figure YOU must be in that 5% since you’re reading this.

Now go for it!!

By the way, since you’re a loyal subscriber, I also made you a success “cheat sheet.”

Just click on the button below and you’ll have access to a chart, similar to what
Benjamin Franklin used to track his daily virtues, but used with Nappy’s success principles.

I think we can all use a little guidance, accountability and feedback, right?!!

Oh yeah, remember: A-C-T-I-O-N!!

Click Here To Get The Success Cheat Sheet!

And Marry YourSelf First! Helps Too!…Get It Here…

I highly recommend it…very few books get my attention like The Dream Manager has.

Here’s a couple of quotes about dreams you might recognize:

“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”
~George Bernard Shaw

 
 “Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” 
~Gloria Steinem

So, here’s what I made for you…to help you look at, create and live your (wildest!!) dreams…Enjoy!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click Here for Marry YourSelf First!
I wrote it to help you fulfill your dreams!

Wu-Wei: This old martial arts principle from the East is described as “yielding to an oncoming force in such a way as to render it harmless and at the same time, change its direction by pushing it from behind instead of resisting it from the front.”

Or, Verbal Kung-Fu!

Western translation: Better communication = Be assertive!

When there is a conflict between two or more people, conditioned response is to cope by fight or flight.

Flight responses are passive and range from giving into an unreasonable request from your mother, accepting a role established by your mate, lying and making up an excuse when your friend wants to borrow your car, to complete withdrawal, hiding from any contact with potential adversaries.

Fight responses are aggressive and range from lightly veiled sarcasm directed toward your mate, childish yelling at the repairman who is an hour late getting to your house, to actual physical violence.

Both responses result in unpleasant emotions of fear and anger, usually failing as an effective method of coping with problems.

So from childhood we learn to deal with our problems indirectly, and often dishonestly. We repress our real feelings at the expense of our self-respect and often our physical well-being.

Assertion is commonly mistaken for aggression, but understand that to be assertive means that you are standing up for your basic human rights. Aggression is a matter of forcefully violating the rights of another, and there is no excuse for such behavior.

An important part of assertiveness is showing consideration for the feelings and rights of others, without letting your kindness or empathy be used as an opening for manipulation.

13 Best practices of assertiveness tactics (Wu-Wei):

1. It’s best to describe other’s behaviors, rather than analyze other’s motivation.

2. It’s best to focus on other’s feelings rather than on other’s attributes.

3. It’s best to keep the conversation on specific issues rather than making general complaints.

4. It’s best to focus on the “here and now” (the present) rather than the “there and then” (the past or the future).

5. It’s best to keep the conversation directed toward changeable behavior and avoid comments toward unchangeable behavior.

6. It’s best to be accepting of other person’s response instead of rejecting or arguing with the other person’s response.

7. It’s best to be active, not passive.

8. It’s best to be open and direct with clear meaning, not hidden with meaning unclear.

9. It’s best to talk “with” others, not “at” others.

10. It’s best to strive for two-way communication, not one-way or one-sided communication.

11. It’s best to stick with one issue instead of trying to deal with many issues at the same time.

12. It’s best to seek to understand first, then to be understood.

13. It’s best to be happy and connected rather than “right” and disconnected.

And It’s Always Best to Marry YourSelf First!

I received a recent question from www.AskKenDonaldson.com about relationship problems coming from dysfunctional relationship patterns.

Specifically, this person keeps getting into dating relationships which fail and she ends up hurt and heart-broken….AND the guy seems to always go back to his ex-girlfriend!

This is  a very common dynamic that I see causing many unnecessary relationship issues and relationship problems.

A little relationship counseling usually can correct these patterns.

Watch it closely, take notes and pass it on!

Click here to view the embedded video.

And as always, Marry YourSelf First! to prevent this from happening to you!

It’s my “job” to hear – and respond to – all the relationship problems and the relationship issues.

Here’s one of the latest – and most interesting- questions from www.AskKenDonaldson.com

“John” writes: “I’m 85 but feeling like 25 right now as I’ve had
the close friendship of a 40ish beautiful woman who wants me
around for 40 more years. She loves me, BUT NOT ROMANTICALLY…”

There’s much more and I made a video especially for John and everyone else
who’s struggling with similar relationship dynamics…here it is:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Where do you start?…

Marry YourSelf First!

I was driving to get a cup of early morning coffee today when
I quickly noticed the beautiful full moon setting in the western sky.
It reminded me of a poem I wrote a while back…
which, in turn, reminded me of a time when I read the poem
at a very important event. Here’s the whole story…

In my role as a relationship counselor, I have realized
the absolute  importance of  Deal-Makers and Deal-Breakers
for your happiness in life.

Just in case you’re not clear about Deal-Makers and Deal-Breakers,
here’s a quick little review for you:

Deal-Makers – These are the non-negotiable absolutely, positively,
got-to-have characteristics, attributes, qualities, behaviors and/or involvements
that you have to have from another person. If you accept someone who does
not have these, you will set yourself up for unnecessary disappointment.
Never lower your standards or else you lower your self-esteem.

Deal-Breakers – These are the non-negotiable, absolutely, positively,
will-not-accept-ever-ever-ever traits, qualities, behaviors, attitudes and/or
involvements of another person. If you make an exception, you automatically
discount yourself, violate your own boundaries and set yourself up for
unnecessary pain and heartache.

Basically, this is Boundaries 101!

Many years ago, as I struggling with my own Deal-Makers and Deal-Breakers,
I found myself writing a poem which helped me to clarify these important dynamics.

This poem, The Yin and Yang of Perfect Love, has been my guiding light ever since
I wrote it many years ago…it’s always steered me in the best direction.

As it turned out, I read this poem a couple years ago as I was the
Marriage Officiant for a couple friends of mine (Beautiful Tina and Amazing Alex).

Let me digress for a moment, as I’m sure you’ll enjoy the photo from this amazing ceremony:

(Yes, that’s me, the Buddha-looking guy in the middle!)

And I figured since this is the last day of the Love Month,
it’d be appropriate to share this poem with you.

So here it is:

The Yin and Yang of Perfect Love

I am the sun…you are the moon
and you do reflect my every tune

You are the earth and water am I
together we mix creating no lie

I am the wind…you’re the clouds up so high
our energy intermingled all through the sky

You are the fire…I am the wood
together we burn as Life says we should

I am the night…you are the stars
we fill the universe from here to afar

You are the Eagle and I am the sky
we’ll take this here Love and fly it so high

When you are cloudy, I’ll be the sun
and you do same when I’m feeling done

When I’m a river, you’ll be the stone
gently I’ll cleanse you, no more all alone

You be the sunrise, my fog you’ll break through
together we make the sweet morning dew

I am the storm and rainbow are you
complementary energy…we give Life it’s due

Yes, you are the Eagle…I’ll be the tree
a place you may perch from, but fly as you please

And you be the earth for all my roots
together our energy creates loving fruit

And finally I say, let’s answer Life’s call:
Grow as we dance and rise from each fall

Okay, if for some reason you have not written your
Deal-Makers and Deal-Breakers list, do it now…
it matters not if it’s a poetic version and just a list.

Write it…follow it…and live it!

THIS LIST is THE #1 element that is very often ignored in
the Law of Attraction formula.

You’ll only attract to you what you truly want when you live in integrity with yourself.

Sorta like Marry YourSelf First! Gee, where have you heard that before?!!

Take seven minutes to change your life..starting today!

Click here to view the embedded video.

And Marry YourSelf First!