Relationship Counseling Tip: You can be positive or negative with your lover…Choose to be positive!
Yes, you can be positive or negative with your lover. Negative energy is just positive energy in reverse. If you find yourself being negative, then simply reverse your energy and choose to be positive.
But isn’t it amazing how easy it is to nit-pick your lover. Why is that? Why would you want to be critical or judgmental of the one you love?
We could analyze that for many hours and come up with many nifty theories, none of which would create any change.
So how about this: Just shift gears to the positive. Look for what your lover DID do correctly. Look for what you DO appreciate. Look for all the ways your lover treats you well.
And think back to the beginning of the relationship…remember when all you could see was all the wonderfulness of your lover?
Well, replay that! Now!
But wait…there’s an even bigger piece in this for you.
Did you know that sometimes, some people actually project their own shortcomings onto others?
And where does this take place more than anywhere else? Believe it or not, in a relationship between two lovers!
It’s the old “if you spot it, then you got it” dynamic.
That’s right, many times, and usually more subconsciously than consciously, lovers will project their own shortcomings, failures, fears and other assorted negative feelings and perceptions of themselves onto their lover.
So before you begin to take a negative inventory of your lover, take at least two steps:
1.) Remind yourself of all the positive attributes of your lover and be very generous in pointing them out. Get into a daily habit, and even several times a day, to communicate what you love, enjoy and appreciate about your lover.
2.) Before you point out anything negative, critical or judgmental, or anything that could even closely be interpreted as such, go look in the mirror and ask yourself honestly if you might have some of these same characteristics. It’s a tough but very powerful self-intervention.
Remember: Choose the path of positivity in your relationship…after all, that is what you want in return, right?!!