How do you manage yourself, your work-life balance, and at the same time, maintain physical and mental health, harmony in your family and an overall sense of happiness?

Life is challenging today and when additional pressures are added, without the proper resources, something can break down, resulting in decreased performance, poor health, unnecessary personal power struggles and an overall bad attitude.

The good news is that you can do something about all this.

It all starts with YOU managing YOU First!

Are YOU up for it?

Let’s look at some of the current research related to work-life balance (or the lack thereof) and career satisfaction:

1.   26% of U.S. adults report being on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown.

2.   40% of U.S. workers describe their office environment as “most like a real-life survivor program.”

3.   62% of U.S. workers routinely end the day with work-related neck pain, 44% report strained eyes, 38% complain of hand pain, and 34% report difficulty in sleeping due to work-related stress.

4.   26% of U.S. workers take no vacations at all.

5.   88% of U.S. employees say they have a hard time juggling work and life.

6.   70% of U.S. working fathers and working mothers report they don’t have enough time for their children.

7.   64% of Americans report that time pressures on working families are getting worse, not better.

8.   Americans work 137 more hours per year than Japanese workers, 260 more hours per year than British workers, and 499 more hours per year than French workers. The Japanese document approximately 10,000 cases per year of “death by overwork,” or karoosh. Considering the above stats, what must the undocumented U.S. numbers be??

9.   People in the U.S. work approximately 8 weeks longer per year than in 1969—in the space of a single generation—but for roughly the same income (after adjusting for inflation)

10. AND the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics tracks just about everything but worker satisfaction.

So…what does one make from all this?

Work-life balance? Where is it? It doesn’t seem to exist.

Let’s add in a few more “realities of life.”

• 50% of first marriages end in divorce. This goes up to 60% for second timers and 70% for third times.

Obviously changing partners is not the solution, but more importantly, take a look at what must be relational ignorance.

Relationship intelligence? Lacking, to say the least.

How, then, do we cope with all these work and relational challenges?

Not so well.

Here’s more:

• One in every five Americans suffers from a diagnosable mental condition and the majority of those people never receive treatment.

• Alcoholism and alcohol abuse are the third leading cause of the preventable deaths in the United States.

• From 1960 to 2006, the prevalence of obesity increased from 13.4% to 35.1% in U.S. adults age 20 to 74.

• 15 million people display some sign of gambling addiction.

• A VERY conservative estimate suggests that 3% – 5% of the U.S. population struggles with “sexual compulsion disorders.”

SO…what to do with all this?

Manage YOU First!

Yes, you must know how to manage you first.

What does this mean?

How about a new 13 Step Program?

1.)         Manage Your Personal Vision

2.)         Manage Your Life Purpose

3.)         Manage Your Unique Values

4.)         Manage Your Fear

5.)         Manage Your Past: Feel It, Heal It and Release It

6.)         Manage Your Emotions

7.)         Manage Your Thoughts

8.)         Manage Your Belief System

9.)         Manage Your Actions (and Reactions)

10.)      Manage Your Relationships

11.)      Manage Your Career

12.)      Manage Your Free Time

13.)      Manage Your Health

There…start with that.

Effectively manage these 13 steps and you’ll avoid being one of the above statistics.

Manage You First and you’ll win every time…you’ll win with your health, your career, your relationships, your happiness and, of course, your life.

More from Ken Donaldson…

And Marry YourSelf First!

“Life is full of risks anyway, why not take them?”

Lindsay Lohan is in the news again and besides the obvious and disturbing chain of events that she has imposed upon herself, this does make for an interesting case study about mental health, addiction and overall life balance.

Lindsay has had a couple of arrests and has been in and out of treatment for her mental health and substance abuse issues. One may think that someone who has this potential as a movie star would make choices to “clean up” their life.

Not that she has been the first “star” to succumb to drugs and alcohol.

In fact, it happens every day.

We every day people just don’t always hear about it.

But what are the big lessons here? What can we all learn from this (including Lindsay, hopefully!)?

1.) Drug and alcohol misuse, abuse and addiction are still alive and well. In spite of there being less news about these trends, they are still progressing in an expanding direction. For example, the prescription pain-killer epidemic is like the heroin craze from the 60s and 70s.

2.) Denial is king when it comes to addiction. Denial has many different variations. Minimizing, justifying, rationalizing, blaming others and intellectualizing are just a few of the different variations. The bottom-line is that denial is the #1 most common and powerful characteristic of any and all addictive behavior.

3.) Sometimes it’s not just addiction. There have been numerous reports that Lindsay is also suffering from clinical depression or bi-polar disorder. We’ll probably never know as that information is kept confidential. Nor do we need to know.

But here’s something to consider: People often turn to drugs and alcohol as an attempt to self-medicate themselves from ailments like depression, anxiety, panic and unresolved trauma. This is commonly referred to as “double trouble” as the combination of any of these emotional conditions with drugs or alcohol creates a negative synergistic result that can be deadly.

4.)  Don’t expect help to come knocking at your door. Usually the only time we really hear about drug and alcohol problems is when a celebrity has a problem and the media picks it up and reports on it. We are, in general, poorly equipped to know what to do with addiction. Additionally, and this is a bit of a kicker, many people are in denial about denial. People just don’t want to know and, therefore, don’t know what to do when the problem shows up in their friends, family or in themselves.

The good news is that recovery is not only possible, it’s actually quite simple.

However, don’t confuse simple with easy.

It’s not “easy” to break the addictive patterns of drugs and alcohol. The addictive energy is very powerful and will “fight” to stay alive. The people of Alcoholics Anonymous refer to this energy as “cunning, powerful and baffling.”

Here are the foundational, and simple, pieces to healthy and successful recovery from addiction, as well as the path to the best mental health:

• The Beatles said it best: I get by with a little help from my friends. Your support system is where you can go to talk about you and your challenges. They will hold you, hug you and love you, AND they will kick you in the butt when you need it. If you don’t have a solid support system, today is a good day to start.
• Balance: Know when your life is in balance and know when it’s out. Know the indicators.
• Boundaries: Create solid boundaries with others and with yourself. Boundaries are the core to a balanced life.  Know what to say “Yes” to and know what to say “No” to.
• Bliss: Know your life purpose and be passionate about it. Find and live your bliss in life.

Yes, Lindsay Lohan is in a tough situation. And let’s hope she gets it together.  More importantly, YOU have a chance now to review your life, make adjustments and make sure you create an “anti-addiction” life and the best mental health possible.

And, of course, you’ll create maximum life balance too.

Today is a good day to Marry YourSelf First!

More from Ken Donaldson here…

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends, and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same…

You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.” 

~ Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises from 1959-1994

And now, hold on to your hat, as I’m about to tell you something you DON’T want to hear:

According to the American Cancer Society (ACS), an estimated 192,370 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed among women in the United States this year. An estimated 40,170 women are expected to die from the disease in 2009 alone. Today, there are about 2.5 million breast cancer survivors living in the United States. (And the rate is going WAY up for men too!)
 
What’s the connection? I’m not sure…maybe none…but I doubt it.

Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I wanted to offer my thoughts.

I am NOT a doctor, a researcher or an expert in cancer, but after thousands of clients over 25+ years, I do have some thoughts, observations and opinions.

Don’t feel that you must agree…remember, most of this is my opinion…

Here we go…

Since the breast cancer (and ALL cancers) rate continues to be at a very high (and totally unacceptable … man on the moon but can’t cure cancer!!??) rate, there must be something(s) that we’re doing to invite it.

Maybe it’s partly our diet…we all know how that has become very poor over the years.

Maybe it’s partly all the chemical additives added to our foods…and our water…and in the air we breathe.

Maybe it’s partly the hormones and antibiotics fed to the animals that we then ingest.

Maybe it’s partly the extreme amount of electro-magnetic and radiation pollution that we can’t see and that everyone seems to deny and downplay.

Or maybe it’s partly the stress that we continually add without having the resources to deal with the stress we already had and weren’t dealing with in a healthy fashion.

I don’t know, and like I said, I’m no cancer expert nor am I an expert in any of these other areas…except the last one.

I can talk to you about stress…I can talk a lot about this.

In fact, this is MY area of expertise…

You’ve no doubt heard about the personality types.

Like type A, who are often described as “stress junkies.”

Then there are the type B individuals who, in contrast, are described as patient, relaxed, and easy-going, generally lacking any sense of urgency.

And psychologists have now identified a “type C” (cancer-prone) personality. These people are characterized as people “who respond to stress with depression and a sense of hoplessness.”

Yikes…”depression and hopelessness”!!!

Here’s more: Type C personalities tend to be introverted, eager to please, conforming and compliant.

In other words, they are people pleasers who usually don’t express how they really feel.

Then, that lack of expression leads to depression and hopelessness…yeah, that sounds like just the formula to make people sick!

Holy Suppression, Batman!

Okay, so here’s the deal: If you haven’t been expressing yourself completely and thoroughly, NOW is THE time to start!

First, it’ll make your relationships, your work and – YES!! – your health better.

But more so, isn’t it just the right thing to do!!??

Can’t see yourself doing this (this is where it starts…between your ears!)!!??

So, take the Communication Readiness Quiz™…Here you go…check those that apply to you:

1.) I avoid talking about things I know I should because I am afraid I will hurt someone’s feelings. ____

2.) I am uncomfortable with receiving attention and/or affection. ____

3.) I deflect praise and compliments by downplaying them. ____

4.) I “bite my tongue” again and again rather than speak my mind, until I finally blow up at someone.____

5.) I avoid necessary confrontations.____

6.) I have trouble setting and honoring boundaries in relationships.____

7.) I find it hard to express how I really feel.____

8.) I have a hard time receiving “constructive criticism”. ____

9.) I feel like people don’t listen to me.____

10.) I have trouble asking for what I want.____

Total Communication Readiness Score____

0-1: You are a great communicator…be a role model for others!

2-3: You are a good overall communicator…keep it going!

4-5: You have some good communication skills, but could use improvement in a few areas…don’t wait!

6-7: You have some rough spots in your communication strategies…start now to avoid future problems!

8 or more: You are VERY ready to improve your communication skills…call me today!

Call me…(727) 394-7325…I can help you.

And Marry YourSelf First! will help…for example Chapter 7: Communication Poker: Knowing When to Hold `em, Show `em and Fold `em is all about effective communication.

Get your copy today!
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

In the meantime, how about upgrading your health and making yourself an “anti C type” and “Just Say It!”

As Brian was quoted in the beginning of this article, “…But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same…”

Be good to you…start today in every way!

Read more from Ken Donaldson here…