Ken Donaldson, Marry YourSelf First and Life Balance
Here’s something everyone can relate to: Your Car.
That wonderful and amazing piece of technology that takes you from one place to another…
usually without any difficulty.
And what is one big element the car relies on to get you there?
The tires…those round rubber donuts which “usually”
create no problems.
Let’s talk about your tires…stick with me here… it’ll all start to make sense…
I promise!
Think of your life as being a car and your tires as one of the most important dynamics to get you
where you want to be in your life.
Each of the tires have an important role, so let’s take a closer look at the tires…
Tire #1: The Know YourSelf Tire
This tire consists of your purpose, your values and your vision.
Take the time now to answer the following questions:
Why am I here (purpose)?
Where am I going (vision)?
What’s most important (values)?
If this tire is not properly aligned, balanced or inflated, your car will not work properly and
you’re likely to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.
And THAT would be a HUGE bummer!
Tire #2: The Love YourSelf Tire
This tire consists of the ways you affirm yourself, talk to yourself, talk about yourself and
the balance (or lack thereof ) you have in your life.
Answer these questions now:
What good things do I say to myself every day?
How do I celebrate me every day?
How do I love myself every day?
How do I keep myself healthy every day?
Like tire #1, if this tire is not properly aligned, balanced or inflated, your car will
not work properly and you’re likely – again – to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.
More bummers!
Tire #3: The Believe in YourSelf Tire
This tire consists of your self-confidence, your communication capabilities, and your ability
to “Play Big” in life.
Answer these additional questions now:
How do I strengthen my confidence muscle?
How do I expand my communication skills?
How can I play bigger and bigger every day in Life?
Yes, like tires #1 and #2, if this tire is not properly aligned, balanced or inflated, your car
will not work properly and you’re most likely to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.
Breakdowns like these are unnecessary and HUGE bummers!
Tire #4: The Guide YourSelf Tire
This tire consists of your boundaries, priority management and stress management skills.
Answer these last questions now:
How do I evaluate my boundaries?
How do I prioritize my life?
How do I manage stress in my life?
I’m sure you’re catching on…yes, like tires #1, #2 and #3, if this tire is not properly
aligned, balanced or inflated, you’re likely to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.
And another bummer!
NOW, the only other question is:
What are you going to do about all this?
One answer…and you know what it is:
Marry YourSelf First!
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If for some reason you haven’t gotten your copy yet, today is the day.
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If you have your copy, but aren’t using it AND all the wonderful supports and bonuses…
what are you waiting for? A Breakdown???
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a generous percentage of all sales (25%!!).
Invest in some books (the package deals are great for the holidays AND you’ll
get FREE books!) now and keep your tires in alignment, balanced and inflated and
you’ll get further in life than you ever imagined!
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Go now: http://kendonaldson.com/store/
Go get your tire situation straightened out now.
At least answer those 13 questions for yourself… they may be
the most important questions you ever ask yourself!
And Marry YourSelf First every day…in every way!
And have an awesome weekend!
Peace and Prosperity…
Ken
Ken Donaldson asks: Are You Anti-Cancer?
Read this first:
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends, and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same…
You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”
~ Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises from 1959-1994
And now, hold on to your hat, as I’m about to tell you something you DON’T want to hear:
According to the American Cancer Society (ACS), an estimated 192,370 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed among women in the United States this year. An estimated 40,170 women are expected to die from the disease in 2009 alone. Today, there are about 2.5 million breast cancer survivors living in the United States. (And the rate is going WAY up for men too!)
What’s the connection? I’m not sure…maybe none…but I doubt it.
Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I wanted to offer my thoughts.
I am NOT a doctor, a researcher or an expert in cancer, but after thousands of clients over 25+ years, I do have some thoughts, observations and opinions.
Don’t feel that you must agree…remember, most of this is my opinion…
Here we go…
Since the breast cancer (and ALL cancers) rate continues to be at a very high (and totally unacceptable … man on the moon but can’t cure cancer!!??) rate, there must be something(s) that we’re doing to invite it.
Maybe it’s partly our diet…we all know how that has become very poor over the years.
Maybe it’s partly all the chemical additives added to our foods…and our water…and in the air we breathe.
Maybe it’s partly the hormones and antibiotics fed to the animals that we then ingest.
Maybe it’s partly the extreme amount of electro-magnetic and radiation pollution that we can’t see and that everyone seems to deny and downplay.
Or maybe it’s partly the stress that we continually add without having the resources to deal with the stress we already had and weren’t dealing with in a healthy fashion.
I don’t know, and like I said, I’m no cancer expert nor am I an expert in any of these other areas…except the last one.
I can talk to you about stress…I can talk a lot about this.
In fact, this is MY area of expertise…
You’ve no doubt heard about the personality types.
Like type A, who are often described as “stress junkies.”
Then there are the type B individuals who, in contrast, are described as patient, relaxed, and easy-going, generally lacking any sense of urgency.
And psychologists have now identified a “type C” (cancer-prone) personality. These people are characterized as people “who respond to stress with depression and a sense of hoplessness.”
Yikes…”depression and hopelessness”!!!
Here’s more: Type C personalities tend to be introverted, eager to please, conforming and compliant.
In other words, they are people pleasers who usually don’t express how they really feel.
Then, that lack of expression leads to depression and hopelessness…yeah, that sounds like just the formula to make people sick!
Holy Suppression, Batman!
Okay, so here’s the deal: If you haven’t been expressing yourself completely and thoroughly, NOW is THE time to start!
First, it’ll make your relationships, your work and – YES!! – your health better.
But more so, isn’t it just the right thing to do!!??
Can’t see yourself doing this (this is where it starts…between your ears!)!!??
So, take the Communication Readiness Quiz™…Here you go…check those that apply to you:
1.) I avoid talking about things I know I should because I am afraid I will hurt someone’s feelings. ____
2.) I am uncomfortable with receiving attention and/or affection. ____
3.) I deflect praise and compliments by downplaying them. ____
4.) I “bite my tongue” again and again rather than speak my mind, until I finally blow up at someone.____
5.) I avoid necessary confrontations.____
6.) I have trouble setting and honoring boundaries in relationships.____
7.) I find it hard to express how I really feel.____
8.) I have a hard time receiving “constructive criticism”. ____
9.) I feel like people don’t listen to me.____
10.) I have trouble asking for what I want.____
Total Communication Readiness Score____
0-1: You are a great communicator…be a role model for others!
2-3: You are a good overall communicator…keep it going!
4-5: You have some good communication skills, but could use improvement in a few areas…don’t wait!
6-7: You have some rough spots in your communication strategies…start now to avoid future problems!
8 or more: You are VERY ready to improve your communication skills…call me today!
Call me…(727) 394-7325…I can help you.
And Marry YourSelf First! will help…for example Chapter 7: Communication Poker: Knowing When to Hold `em, Show `em and Fold `em is all about effective communication.
Get your copy today!
http://kendonaldson.com/store/
In the meantime, how about upgrading your health and making yourself an “anti C type” and “Just Say It!”
As Brian was quoted in the beginning of this article, “…But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same…”
Be good to you…start today in every way!
Read more from Ken Donaldson here…
Marry YourSelf First and The ABC’s of Success
The ABC’s of Success
A stands for Attraction; more specifically the Law of Attraction.
The Law of Attraction states that like energies attract each other.
Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative. Therefore,
if you are putting out negative energy you will therefore attract negative
energy into your life. Likewise, if you are putting out positive energy
you will attract positive energy into your life.
So the question is: What vibration are you sending out? If it is negative,
how about experimenting with some new ways of managing your life
to create more positive energy?
See Chapter 2 in Marry YourSelf First!: Doing the Abun-Dance:
The Law of Attraction and the Art of Prosperous Living
http://kendonaldson.com/store/
B stands for Boundaries; and that includes both the boundaries
you have with others and the boundaries you have with yourself.
Saying “No” to something that is unacceptable is an example of a boundary,
as is assertively and proactively asking for what you do want.
Your boundaries with yourself will determine how much balance you have
in your life. Knowing where to end one part of your life (i.e.: Work) and
begin another (i.e.: Family) will help you to stay in touch with your whole
being and therefore create more balance, which, in turn, always results in a
happier and healthier lifestyle.
Do you know your boundaries and are you living according to them?
See Chapters 4 and 5 in Marry YourSelf First!:
4 – The Apples in the Apple Pie:
Knowing What You’ve Got to Have, Want to Have, and Will Not Settle For
And
5- Juggling Bowling Balls While Walking Across Hot Coals:
The Balance Challenge of Life
http://kendonaldson.com/store/
C stands for Communication; specifically your ability to attain and
maintain productive communication with others.
Do you know how to avoid getting “hooked” by another’s
manipulative maneuvering? Do you speak up for yourself,
express your feelings and make your requests directly?
These are all examples of healthy communication skills.
And perhaps the biggest communication skill is that of listening. Do
you know how to combine martial artistry with your listening ability to
create a space of “Zen Listening” in which you can be unaffected by
what another may say but still stay in the conversation?
See Chapter 7 in Marry YourSelf First!: Communication Poker:
Knowing When to Hold `em, Show `em and Fold `em
http://kendonaldson.com/store/
D stands for Deal-makers and Deal-breakers; specifically
your ability to know them and adhere to them.
If you have not written your lists of deal-makers and deal-breakers,
then you are potentially setting yourself up to settle for something
or someone beneath your standards. When you settle for less you
impact your self-esteem and distort your sense of reality.
The bottom-line is that living life without knowing or adhering to
your deal-makers and deal-breakers sets you up for failure, depression,
anxiety and addictive behavior. Now, you don’t want any of that, right??!!
Write your Deal-makers and Deal-breakers lists TODAY!!
See Chapters 4, 5, 6 and 8 in Marry YourSelf First!:
6- Getting the Love: Surrounding Yourself with
Supportive Networks and Communities
And
8- Building Your House on Solid Ground:
Understanding the Relationship Hierarchy
http://kendonaldson.com/store/
E stands for Emotional Management; specifically the
management of the “slipperier” emotions.
This would include anger, fear and sadness.
Most of us have not had any training on how to deal
with these so we have made up our own “rules” about these emotions.
Many of these “rules” are very unrealistic and unhealthy.
The bottom-line is that you are an emotional being and you have every
right to feel and express your feelings as long as you do no harm to
others as you are expressing yourself.
Fear is perhaps THE most challenging emotion, but remember:
You can have FEAR (Fictitious Events Appearing Real) or
FEAR (Face Everything And Rejoice).
Which do you choose??
See Chapters 3 and 9 in Marry YourSelf First!:
3- In Search of the Missing Donut Hole: Your Soul Print
And
9- If It Feels Weird, Do It:
Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into Your Growth Zone
http://kendonaldson.com/store/
There you go: A whole new way of living your
ABC’s that you’ll never be too old for!!
And a few more valid reasons to Marry YourSelf First!
http://kendonaldson.com/store/
Read more from Ken Donaldson here…
The 7 Easy Steps to Far Less Stress
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Ken Donaldson, MA, LMHC
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