“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends, and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same…

You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.” 

~ Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises from 1959-1994

And now, hold on to your hat, as I’m about to tell you something you DON’T want to hear:

According to the American Cancer Society (ACS), an estimated 192,370 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed among women in the United States this year. An estimated 40,170 women are expected to die from the disease in 2009 alone. Today, there are about 2.5 million breast cancer survivors living in the United States. (And the rate is going WAY up for men too!)
 
What’s the connection? I’m not sure…maybe none…but I doubt it.

Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I wanted to offer my thoughts.

I am NOT a doctor, a researcher or an expert in cancer, but after thousands of clients over 25+ years, I do have some thoughts, observations and opinions.

Don’t feel that you must agree…remember, most of this is my opinion…

Here we go…

Since the breast cancer (and ALL cancers) rate continues to be at a very high (and totally unacceptable … man on the moon but can’t cure cancer!!??) rate, there must be something(s) that we’re doing to invite it.

Maybe it’s partly our diet…we all know how that has become very poor over the years.

Maybe it’s partly all the chemical additives added to our foods…and our water…and in the air we breathe.

Maybe it’s partly the hormones and antibiotics fed to the animals that we then ingest.

Maybe it’s partly the extreme amount of electro-magnetic and radiation pollution that we can’t see and that everyone seems to deny and downplay.

Or maybe it’s partly the stress that we continually add without having the resources to deal with the stress we already had and weren’t dealing with in a healthy fashion.

I don’t know, and like I said, I’m no cancer expert nor am I an expert in any of these other areas…except the last one.

I can talk to you about stress…I can talk a lot about this.

In fact, this is MY area of expertise…

You’ve no doubt heard about the personality types.

Like type A, who are often described as “stress junkies.”

Then there are the type B individuals who, in contrast, are described as patient, relaxed, and easy-going, generally lacking any sense of urgency.

And psychologists have now identified a “type C” (cancer-prone) personality. These people are characterized as people “who respond to stress with depression and a sense of hoplessness.”

Yikes…”depression and hopelessness”!!!

Here’s more: Type C personalities tend to be introverted, eager to please, conforming and compliant.

In other words, they are people pleasers who usually don’t express how they really feel.

Then, that lack of expression leads to depression and hopelessness…yeah, that sounds like just the formula to make people sick!

Holy Suppression, Batman!

Okay, so here’s the deal: If you haven’t been expressing yourself completely and thoroughly, NOW is THE time to start!

First, it’ll make your relationships, your work and – YES!! – your health better.

But more so, isn’t it just the right thing to do!!??

Can’t see yourself doing this (this is where it starts…between your ears!)!!??

So, take the Communication Readiness Quiz™…Here you go…check those that apply to you:

1.) I avoid talking about things I know I should because I am afraid I will hurt someone’s feelings. ____

2.) I am uncomfortable with receiving attention and/or affection. ____

3.) I deflect praise and compliments by downplaying them. ____

4.) I “bite my tongue” again and again rather than speak my mind, until I finally blow up at someone.____

5.) I avoid necessary confrontations.____

6.) I have trouble setting and honoring boundaries in relationships.____

7.) I find it hard to express how I really feel.____

8.) I have a hard time receiving “constructive criticism”. ____

9.) I feel like people don’t listen to me.____

10.) I have trouble asking for what I want.____

Total Communication Readiness Score____

0-1: You are a great communicator…be a role model for others!

2-3: You are a good overall communicator…keep it going!

4-5: You have some good communication skills, but could use improvement in a few areas…don’t wait!

6-7: You have some rough spots in your communication strategies…start now to avoid future problems!

8 or more: You are VERY ready to improve your communication skills…call me today!

Call me…(727) 394-7325…I can help you.

And Marry YourSelf First! will help…for example Chapter 7: Communication Poker: Knowing When to Hold `em, Show `em and Fold `em is all about effective communication.

Get your copy today!
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

In the meantime, how about upgrading your health and making yourself an “anti C type” and “Just Say It!”

As Brian was quoted in the beginning of this article, “…But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same…”

Be good to you…start today in every way!

Read more from Ken Donaldson here…

Ha! I wish!

I shy away from sharing much of my personal story with my clients,
as that is all part of having, and demonstrating, healthy boundaries.

But I felt inclined to share the following with her…and now, with you…

I shared with her my early life challenges with addiction to drugs and alcohol,
the three drug-related arrests by age 18, my 18 months of treatment,
and the “mac-daddy”, the relapse with cocaine and methamphetamine.

Then my spiritual awakening at 29 after over 40 different jobs,
my marriage, my “calling” to go to college and become a therapist,
my being “THE” self-proclaimed relationship expert,
followed by the next breakdown: The divorce!

Then the fall into depression and the battle with it over the
next 15+ years.

I shared this all with her to convey one message: Yes…
I’m human too and I’m NOT beyond any set of circumstances
that occur with my clients…or anyone else, for that matter.

BUT…through all those trials and tribulations,
I have learned valuable lessons…many of them.

I’d like to share a few of them with you now…

Everything passes…Sunshine always follows the cloudiest of days.
I choose to focus on the future sunshine, not the past clouds.

I have a choice of my attitude regardless of outside circumstances.
I choose the positive, hopeful and optimistic path.

The bigger the challenge, the bigger the opportunity.
I look for opportunities.

The more uncomfortable something is, the more I can grow from it.
I commit to growth.

I’m either living or I’m dying…there is no neutral.
I choose living every time.

And the biggest and more wonderful lesson is this:
No matter how far down or how hard I might fall, I can always
get back up and it doesn’t have to be pretty.

And with each fall or stumble or fumble, I learn something
that I’ll inevitability be able to pass on to someone else or,
better yet, because of my poor choices or bad experiences,
I now have an empathy with another who has a similar
challenge and that empathy, that connection,
has tremendous healing power.

Yes…I can turn every bad, negative, hurtful wound inside-out
and grow a garden…after all, manure is great fertilizer!

These are sacred wounds and I am the wounded healer…
and for that I have no shame.

Rather, I have gratitude that I am able today to have the ability
to connect, help and heal others because of all my varied
life experiences.

The good…the bad…the ugly…and the beautiful.

And the same goes for you….

Read more from Ken Donaldson here…

Rapid Resolution Therapy™ is fast, lasting and painless!

Yes, Rapid Resolution Therapy™ is a unique and innovative method to help you painlessly complete the therapeutic process. No longer are you required to relive the past or feel the pain from traumatic events. Imagine having unwanted thoughts and behaviors eliminated! Unconscious conflicts blocking desired change are resolved. Self destructive behavior disappears. The mind is clear. There is emotional freedom.

IS THAT GREAT OR IS THAT GREAT??!!

Clients gain benefits that reach well beyond their goals for seeking treatment. They report an immediate and lasting increase in energy, clarity and well-being. The mind is cleared, organized and optimized. Because the root cause of problems is cleared, these positive changes are automatic and lasting.

Clients realize fully and through every facet of their minds that these experiences are finished and gone. Anxiety and problem anger are replaced with energy and peace. And old self destructive behavioral patterns are dissolved.

Jon Connelly is the founder and developer of Rapid Resolution Therapy™ and I started my training with Jon 12 years ago and continue to use his state-of-the-art Rapid Resolution Therapy™ with all my clients. The results I’ve witnessed are just short of miraculous!See what everyone is saying at Jon’s website at:

http://www.rapidtraumaresolution.org/

Listen and watch Jon Connelly, the founder and developer of Rapid Resolution Therapy™, and some of the people he’s treated with Rapid Resolution Therapy™ :

TRAUMA: GHOSTS FROM THE PAST

What is Trauma? Trauma is not necessarily tragic. It can be any past event, whether simple or difficult, that was upsetting, confusing, weird, painful or distressful. Although that event is done and over, the effects of it continue to have an underlying affect on a person.

A psychological trauma is an emotional wound or shock that creates substantial, lasting damage. People can be affected by troubling experiences from the past, even when these events are not consciously remembered.

Emotional problems and destructive behavioral patterns are impossible to overcome when they are fueled by the ongoing influence of traumatic past events.

Unresolved, these issues also increase vulnerability to medical problems.

Attempting to bring about enduring change without eliminating the ongoing influence of these “ghosts from the past” is like trying to repair the structure of a building by applying a coat of paint.

Rapid Resolution Therapy™ completely eliminates the negative influence from traumatic events even when there is no conscious memory of what took place.

RAPID RESOLUTION THERAPY™ AND UNREALISTIC FEARS

No one can eliminate a fear of flying by studying statistics that prove it is safe. Logic can only influence the conscious mind. The subconscious mind cannot respond to logic or reason.

Think of a person who is smoking, overeating or abusing any substance. This person already knows that the problem behavior is not logical. They know the negative consequences. The subconscious mind continues causing the problem because the subconscious mind isn’t logical.

Rapid Resolution Therapy™ addresses unrealistic fears, generalized anxiety and specific phobias by bringing blocked unconscious conflicts into the light and thereby allowing you to live in the desired change state you ultimately want.This includes (but is NOT limited to):

• Fear of public speaking

• Fear of new places

• Fear of flying

• Fear of heights

• Fear of closed places

• Fear of being alone

• Fear of meeting new people

• Test anxiety

• Performance anxiety

• Shyness

• And even the fear of roller coasters!

My goal is simple: I want to improve the quality of your life as quickly, permanently and painlessly as possible!

Traditional therapists have been taught to convince their clients to “take responsibility” so that they can “work on their problems.” Psychotherapy used to be focused on the patient’s past.

Traditional psychotherapy took a long time, encouraged dependency, and required a painful re-living of past experiences and much of the time it didn’t even work!

Today, psychotherapists are being taught cognitive behavioral approaches that ignore the ongoing influence of past events. However, cognitive behavioral – and solution oriented approaches – ignore the ongoing influence of past events on current problems.

Rapid Resolution Therapy™ facilitates effortless change that comes from deep within the mind. We will get right to the subconscious mind and make the necessary adjustments so that the problems disappear. You’ll achieve fast and lasting improvements!

Rapid Resolution Therapy™ will:

• Engage all facets of the mind with profound connection using precise multi-level communication

• Open a channel to the subconscious

• Expose and eliminate unconscious conflicts blocking desired change

• Pinpoint the exact events to clear so that desired change is automatic

• Eliminate the effect of traumatic events even if they are repressed or forgotten

• Stop self-destructive behavioral patterns

• Resolve multiple traumas in a single psychotherapy session

• Transform your attitude, emotions, behavior, beliefs, expectations and perceived identity so your life can once again be joyful and productive!

• Promote healing

Plus, the same techniques used in Rapid Resolution Therapy™ can be used to help you in all areas of performance enhancement. This includes:

• Academics and test-taking

• Sports and athletics

• Singing and dancing

• Acting and speaking

• Dating

• Sex and relationships

• Work and career advancement

• Business networking

Why suffer with worry and anxiety when you can have freedom, peace and confidence!!??

RAPID RESOLUTION THERAPY™ INVOLVES:

• Uncovering techniques

• Multi-level communication

• Fool proof convincers

• Breakthrough memory blocks

• Transformational language

• Communication that bypasses the conscious mind

• Disassembling unnecessary emotion

• Deactivating impulsive behavior

• Failure proof communication

• Mind/body healing

• Subconscious activators & accelerators

• Dynamic imagery

• Dream resolution

• Pain relief

What does NOT happen with Rapid Trauma Resolution™? I will NOT ask you to:

• Move your eyes back and forth

• Travel in your mind to a pretend safe place

• Feel painful emotions to “get them out”

• Tap your body while repeating special words

• Nurture your inner child

• Beat pillows or furniture to get your anger out

• Pretend to confront the abuser

• Actually confront the abuser

• Attend groups to get support

• Go into a trance and listen to positive suggestion

(I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I used to use all these techniques and although they do sometimes work, Rapid Resolution Therapy™ is much more effective, efficient and painless!)

Rapid Resolution Therapy™ provides solutions for life’s toughest problems…

People who have experienced:

• Incest
• Rape
• Sexual violence
• Physical or sexual abuse
• Violence
• Domestic Violence
• Family dysfunction
• Verbal abuse
• Terrifying events
• Crime
• Wartime horror
• Injury or illness
• Natural disasters
• Death of a loved one
• Murder/suicide of a loved one
• Loss of relationship
• Bullying
• Humiliation
• Betrayal
• Infidelity
• Abandonment

And for people who continue to suffer with:

• Stress related medical problems
• Panic attacks
• Sexual dysfunction
• Nightmares
• Self injury
• Dissociation
• Flashbacks
• Insomnia
• Eating disorders
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Guilt and Shame
• Self-hatred
• Substance abuse
• Problem anger
• Sex addiction
• Compulsive behavior
• Obsessive thinking
• Phobias
• Addiction – dependency

If you desire change that is automatic and lasting, then you’re an ideal candidate for Rapid Resolution Therapy™. Many people prefer Rapid Resolution Therapy™ over spending months or years in weekly traditional therapy sessions. In many cases Rapid Resolution Therapy™ treatments can be completed in a single office visit. Some treatments may take two or three sessions.

If you are tired of traditional therapies that have not worked or were too painful; this is the answer you’ve been seeking.

Read more about Ken Donaldson here…