A REAL fire.

Evidently some trees rubbed my power line to the point of creating an open line and all the lights started to flash in my house, the backup battery systems started to beep and finally there was a puff of smoke followed by sparks and then an outlet burst into flames.

Wow…all before 9 a.m.!

I was fortunate to be here at home and not at my office, otherwise, I may not be writing this today as I’m sure there would have been a significant fire.

Yes, I am VERY grateful.

But I noticed something as all this was going on.

I noticed how calm I was.

I’m not meaning to brag, but I have to say that I impressed myself.

I guess all those years of deep breathing, meditation, positive thinking, mental reframing and self-hypnosis paid off.

I think I’ll keep practicing what I’ve been doing…it seems to be working.

All of which brings me to a question: How are you at “putting out fires?”

This term of speech, “putting out fires”, typically means responding to crisis, conflict, unexpected surprises or, as some call it, the “do-do” of life.

How are you at all of that?

I’ve noticed that there are four basic types of responses:

Freeze: These are the people who are the proverbial “deer in the headlights” reactors. They get immediately overwhelmed and their emotions override their intellect and wisdom. They don’t take action. They don’t do anything. They freeze.

Fight: Some people are so reactive that when anything is the least bit upsetting their emotions go into full tilt overdrive. They get angry, frustrated, irritated or just go into a rage. Their action is irrational and often inappropriate. They instantly burn the bridges between themselves and others. These are the “reactors” of life.

Flight: They run. They run more. They keep running. Sometimes they forget what they’re running from. Their emotional response is such that they instantly see things as “life threatening” and obviously overreact by running. These are the conflict avoiders of life.

Fix: These people stop, pause, think, analyze and then go into action. Although their emotions are present, they are able to keep their emotions in check. Their intellect and wisdom override their emotions. They go into rational action and stay focused until they have completed the task to the best of their ability.

Which are you?

I can honestly tell you that I have been all four at one time or another in my life.

Today, fortunately, I do my best to stay in the latter category. I stop, pause, think and respond.

It’s very easy to allow one’s emotions to make their decisions. Emotions are very powerful and very helpful in many ways, but NOT to make decisions with…especially the super important decisions.

In my case, I had an impulse to throw water on the fire, since I know that water puts out fire. However, if you throw water on electrical fires, you can create many more problems.

I wonder how many people in life react and “throw water on an electrical fire.”

I have learned over the years that when I practice meditation and Qigong breathing, I seem to have better control over emotional situations. I can’t tell that I really know how that all works, all I know is that it works for me.

I also have a very empowering mantra:

Every moment of every day, I get better and better in every way.
Every moment of every day, I get richer and richer in every way.
Every moment of every day, I get stronger and stronger in every way.
Every moment of every day, I get wiser and wiser in every way.

I think there’s a part of me that actually has begun to fully believe that message.

It’s only taken 53 years….and I know it’ll get better and better every day…in every way!

As somewhat of an aside, I was also quite surprised with the power company’s seemingly lack of concern that my house could have burned down. I found it alarming that the customer service representative wanted to tell me all about their policies and procedures. She also said she would get back to me regarding having the trees trimmed.

It’s been three days now. I have a feeling I won’t hear back.

No worries, I’ll write a nice letter to the CEO. Don’t really like to do that, but have found that that is sometimes the only path to any resolution.

I bring this issue up for only one reason: Integrity.

How is your integrity? Are you living at your highest standards? Are you “your living word”? Are you “being whole” with yourself?

So, a few things for you to ponder: Fires, emotions, meditation, integrity.

I think it’s called “Life”, or as one of my older and wiser clients says, “It all comes with the birth certificate.”

Feel free to leave a comment below.

And today is a good day to Marry YourSelf First!

(This is written for men, but ladies, feel free to read it as well.)

I see men every week in my practice who struggle with anxiety. And I know there are millions who are also suffering unnecessarily because they don’t understand what’s going on with them or are too resistant to seek out help. I too have struggled with this dreaded and unpredictable angst and I know the effects first hand both on me as a person, and as a man.

For too long we have wrestled with the stigmas of mental health issues and all the varied diagnosis. Many of us have taken on beliefs that “we’re showing our weakness if we have to ask for help.”

Nothing could be further from the truth.

It takes courage and strength to ask for help and commit to overcome anxiety. And for what it’s worth, there are, and have been, many other men who’ve wrestled with the same demons of anxiety. And many who have overcome.

Here’s a few you’ve probably heard of:

1. Abraham Lincoln – President
2. Al Kasha – Songwriter
3. Alfred Lord Tennyson – Poet
4. Anthony Hopkins – Actor
5. Burt Reynolds – Actor
6. Charles Schultz – Cartoonist
7. Dave Stewart – Singer of Eurythmics
8. David Bowie – Singer
9. Dean Cain – Actor
10. Dick Clark – Television Personality
11. Donny Osmond – Singer/Actor
12. Earl Campbell -Heisman  Trophy Winner
13. Edvard Munch – Artist
14. Eric Clapton – Musician
15. Howard Stern – “King of Media”
16. Howie Mandel – Comic
17. Isaac Asimov – Author
18. James Garner – Actor
19. Jim Eisenreich – Baseball
20. John Candy – Comedian
21. John Cougar Mellencamp – Musician/Actor
22. John Madden – Sports Announcer
23. John Steinbeck – Author
24. John Stuart Mill – Philosopher
25. Johnny Depp – Actor
26. Michael Crichton – Writer
27. Michael English – Gospel Artist
28. Michael Jackson-  Singer
29. Nicholas Cage-  Actor
30. Nikola Tesla – Inventor
31. Pete Harnisch – Baseball
32. Ray Charles – Musician
33. Robert Burns – Poet
34. Robert McFarlane – Former U.S. National Security Advisor
35. Sam Shepard – Playwright
36. Sigmund Freud – Psychiatrist
37. Sir Isaac Newton – Scientist
38. Sir Laurence Olivier – Actor
39. Tom Snyder – Host
40. Tony Dow – Actor, Director
41. W.B. Yeats – Poet
42. Willard Scott – Weatherman

The REALLY good news is that there is effective treatment for anxiety and quite frankly, it’s one of the simplest issues to address and correct.

But here are some rather alarming statistics about anxiety:

• Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18.1% of U.S. population).

• Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a year, almost one-third of the country’s $148 billion total mental health bill.

• More than $22.84 billion of those costs are associated with the repeated use of health care services; people with anxiety disorders seek relief for symptoms that mimic physical illnesses.

• People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.

(~The Anxiety Disorders Association of America)

Whether you’re male or female, you don’t have to suffer.

But guys, let go of the machismo and ask for help. You’ll be happier than ever that you did.

And you’ll join the long list of other men who have done the same.

Call me…let’s get started today..(727) 394-7325

Marry YourSelf First!…Today and every day!

“Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished.  If you’re alive, it isn’t.”

Every day I hear people asking me this question, “Why am I so messed up?”

They don’t always say just exactly those words, although sometimes they do, but they say something similar and definitely with the same meaning.

So, why are WE so messed up?

The good news is that it all comes down to two things:

1.)   We don’t know what to do.

2.)   We just don’t do what we know to do.

Nice to know it’s that simple, right?!!

Let’s look at the first, the “We don’t know what to do” syndrome.

Why would you know what to do?…who taught you?…where did you learn from?

See, most people have extreme emotional and relational deficits. Unless you went to some very, very non-mainstream school, you never had classes that taught you any of this. And because very few people really learned the art of handling emotions and relationships effectively, then it only makes sense that they would pass their deficits on to their children.

So it’s easy to see and understand the “We don’t know what to do” syndrome.

Which brings us to number two: We just don’t do what we know to do.

This is the real kicker and here’s why: There are so many resources today to help people improve their lives. And much of it is absolutely free. Go to YouTube and you will find hours and hours of free, good coaching and education on emotional and relationship management. All free!

Do a Google search and you’ll find websites, blogs and forums that you can participate in and have ongoing conversations to seek out answers to all your challenges.

And if you’re willing to invest a few bucks in yourself, you can invest in books or audio and video programs that will bring the experts right into your home or office.

And if you want to go full out, then you can actually hire a professional coach or counselor to give you the 1:1 guidance you want to improve your life and relationships.

But everyone probably knows all this and they still just don’t do what they know to do.

Why?

It can only be one of a very few things:

1.)   Denial: “I don’t have any issues…really.”

2.)   Minimization: “It’s not that big of a deal.” (Which is a form of denial.)

3.)   Cynicism and blame: “Sure, I’ll change when she changes.”

4.)   Stupidity: “Duh.” (This doesn’t actually exist; some people just pretend that it does.)

So the REAL question is this: How badly do you want to improve your life?

Or maybe this one: How much pain, heartache, misery or depression do you want to endure in your life?

Yes, challenges are definitely part of life, but pain, heartache, misery and depression are all optional.

But it all comes back to you.

YOU have to choose to want a better life.

YOU have to choose to want better relationships.

YOU have to choose to want a better career path.

YOU have to choose to want better health.

YOU have to choose to want a better spiritual connection.

YOU have to choose to want better friends.

YOU have to choose to want a better you.

The really good news is that YOU are in total control of all that.

The next question is: When will you start?

If you want to be a victor, you must release being a victim!

“I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.”  ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Marry YourSelf First!…Today!

Is Your Relationship Living or Dying?

This is a classic question being asked by many wives today. The first thing to do is the obvious: Ask him! And in asking him, have you clarified to him how important it is to you and to the kids?

Here are a few things to be aware of when asking:

• Be aware of “how” you’re asking.
• Are you nagging, whining or complaining? Ask in a positive tone.
• When are you asking? Pick a time when he’s available and not preoccupied.

All of which brings up the next question: Have you and your husband been practicing good communication or have you done what many couples do and just gone on autopilot?

Autopilot is a common relationship dynamic that silently says, “Let’s keep it comfortable, predictable and familiar.” Unfortunately, comfortable, predictable and familiar do not allow for  growth and if there’s no growth, the relationship can and will become very stagnant very fast. Sometimes what a relationship needs more than anything else is a shakeup. Something out of the ordinary, like a new way of interacting. Too many couples have become passive and they’ve stopped asking for what they truly want and need, and they’ve stopped making their requests.

In other words, they’ve begun to settle. And here’s a fact about settling: When you settle for less you always get less…never more! For example, couples often settle for setting fewer boundaries, which means they stop making the requests to fulfill their wants and needs, and they stop informing their partner about unacceptable behavior.

And what then happens is as days turn into weeks, weeks into months and months into years, there’s a growing separation and distance between the two. And then the wife’s simple issue of “I’d like you to spend more time with the kids,” turns into a resentment filled and fueled power-struggle.

This may sound like an evasion of the original question, but there are bigger issues and dynamics here. These issues don’t grow overnight; they usually have been festering for months, years and at times, even decades.

So the key is really about having healthy assertive communication. One of the greatest gifts one partner can give to another in a relationship is healthy communication. This is particularly relevant when it comes to conflict resolution. Oftentimes conflict resolution simply means to ask the more difficult and sometimes emotionally charged questions.

This issue of the husband spending more time with the family may be one of those situations where there may be a tendency to skate around the issue because it might feel uncomfortable. Like, “I don’t feel like asking him because he might get irritated,” or “I might sound like I’m nagging.”

However, the goal here is simple: Ask and make the request anyway. You must often just take the action that’s uncomfortable or awkward. And yes, it may even stir the pot and create a little conflict, but if you don’t confront and deal with conflict, the relationship will, by default, go on autopilot, and relationships die in autopilot mode!

Die?!! Yes…here’s why: Everything in life is either living or dying. Which means your life is either growing and expanding or shriveling and dying.

And if you’re not addressing issues straight-up and confronting dynamics that are unacceptable, then the relationship is starting to die.

So, how can you get your husband to spend more time with the family? It starts with you communicating effectively and assertively. If you’re not there or can’t seem to get there, or if there has been a continual cycle of breakdowns after you’ve tried over and over again, then it’s time to hire a professional.

It’s amazing what a couple of counseling sessions with a good relationship counselor can do! Have a few sessions with someone who can actively teach you how to effectively communicate with each other.

Do all this and the question of “How can I get my husband to spend more time with the family?” answers itself.

Leave a comment below…

Marry YourSelf First! for the Best Relationships

Want more passion, power, purpose and peace in your life?

Then make yourself a Vision Map…better, yet, join me for the next Vision Map workshop…scroll down for more information.

1.)  Your Vision Map will better define your life purpose.

2.)  Your Vision Map will keep you better aligned with your values.

3.)  Your Vision Map will reinforce your boundaries.

4.)  Your Vision Map will guide you to happier and healthier relationships.

5.)  Your Vision Map will give your career a boost…and maybe the change it’s needed.

6.)  Your Vision Map will add more balance to your life.

7.)  Your Vision Map will help you stay more focused on your goals.

8.)  Your Vision Map will help to make your priorities more clear.

9.)  Your Vision Map will get you better tuned in to your spirituality.

10.)  Your Vision Map will empower you.

11.)  Your Vision Map will help you pick better friends.

12.)  Your Vision Map will enhance your health.

13.)  Your Vision Map will get you more connected with your creativity.

14.)  Your Vision Map will help you get more fun in your life.

15.)  Your Vision Map is a great stress management tool.

16.)  Your Vision Map will remind you of your greatness.

17.)  Your Vision Map will give you a daily affirmation.

18.)  Your Vision Map will help you stay focused on your future (instead of your past).

19.)  Your Vision Map will help you embrace positive changes in your life.

20.)  Your Vision Map will give you the vision you need to get to where you truly deserve – and desire – to be in life.

 Click here for the official page of the next 201o Vision Map workshop at Yoga Village in Clearwater.

 And Marry YourSelf First!

Ken Donaldson Keynote at D.W. Waters Graduation

I had the privilege and honor on this past Thursday evening of delivering the graduation keynote for the D.W. Waters class of 2010.

Just to give you a little insight, D.W. Waters’ motto is “It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish that counts!”

No big deal, right?

Wrong!

This is a WAY special class…check out their enrollment criteria:
 • At least 16 years of age
 • At least one year behind in school                                                    
 • No record of severe discipline problems
 • Wants to focus on a chosen Career Cluster at DWWCC (D. W. Waters Career Center)
 • Willing to commit to workplace training (OJT)

These are the students who make “high risk” look like every day living. For whatever reason (pregnancy, emotional and/or learning challenges, abuse, etc.), these courageous young people chose to continue on.

Most of them were so far behind that they couldn’t even imagine catching up, much less graduating.

And it would have been easier to quit!

A group of about 12 students sang the musical selection for the ceremony, I Believe I Can Fly. A perfect song for the students, the school and the event.

Here are the lyrics in case you’re not familiar with song:

“I Believe I Can Fly”
~R. KELLY

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I’m leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

Hey, cause I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly
Fly-eye-eye

Anyway, I thought long and hard about what to say to them.

So I decided to dare them…yes, I simply dared them…

I dared them to find and be the greatness that they truly are.

I dared them to find their unique purpose and live it every day in every way.

I dared them to find their own personal soul food and to continually, without fail, feed their spirit.

I dare them to figure out, set and maintain the boundaries that will empower them, to say a resounding “Yes” to all they do want, need and desire, and say a resonant “No” to all they will not tolerate.

I dared them to realize that the world needs them today more than ever, and the answers to the world’s problems will not come from Washington or Hollywood, but rather, from each and every one of them.

I dared them to surround themselves with the people who love them, accept them and encourage them, and to step away from those who don’t.

I dared them to tell themselves, time and time again, that they are deserving, gifted and of great value, and to say that to themselves as their powerful and affirming mantra.

I dared them to realize that life is full of unexpected challenges (I mentioned this as a very young child in the audience began to express herself in a very assertive way!) and one of the greatest gifts we can all give to ourselves is the gift of humor, which allows us to be flexible and fluid as we navigate down the river of life.

I dared them to remind that person in the mirror of their greatness, their importance, their value and their purpose, time and time and time again.

Yes, I simply dared them to be great.

Them, their parents, their friends, the teachers, and everyone else who was there on Thursday…I dared them all.

But the greatest dare I addressed was the dare to myself…to live what I said; to practice what I preached; to be the model of the dare.

What about you…have you dared yourself lately?

I dare you…

PS I hope to have a video of the whole presentation soon…I think it’ll worth watching…stay tuned!

Ken at D.W. Waters with another Marry YourSelf First fan!

 Marry YourSelf First!

Feel free to leave a comment or two…

Are You Prioritizing Your Love Life?

We’ll probably never know what has driven Al and Tipper Gore to separate, and out of respect and dignity, we never should. But it does invite a curiosity, and an interesting case study, regarding work life balance and its impact on your core relationships (marriage, life partnerships, etc.).

One of THE most significant parts of work life balance would be your primary, or core, relationships. These relationships are your primary support in life; THE person you can go to to discuss anything.

THE person you can go to in your most desperate times of need.

THE person you can go to to celebrate your wildest dreams.

THE person you can go to to share your most intense fears.

This is true intimacy and is often referred to as the “in-to-me-see” of the relationship!

But if you don’t take care of that relationship, cherish it, respect it, and put it at the top of your personal totem pole of life, then it becomes vulnerable to stagnation, mediocrity, strife and unnecessary breakdown.

It really comes down to priorities: We may never know Al and Tipper Gore’s priorities, but here are 7 core questions for you to ask yourself regarding your work life balance as it applies to your core relationship:

1.) Do you check in with each other regularly and share what’s REALLY going on? Not just the day-to-day superficial stuff, but the core needs, wants, desires and requests.

2.) Do you put time and energy into the relationship on a REGULAR basis? This means truly making the relationship a priority. No auto-pilot here. Conscious and proactive choices to put the relationship first whenever possible!

3.) Are you still dating regardless of how many years you’ve been together? Once a week, or more, is best.

4.) Are you able to discuss, using your best communciation skills, the toughest issues and dynamics with a level of respect, the goal of understanding and the ability to accept the differences of each other?

5.) Do you “speak your partner’s language” in that you know what it is that truly lights them up, gets into their heart and soul and enables them to feel truly extraordinary? Do you do that every day in every way?

6.) If you have children, do you and your partner work as a unified team with your children and also balance between being parents and being partners, remembering that your relationship if the foundation for the whole family unit?

7.) Whatever your passion is in your world of work, do you have a greater passion for your relationship? And if not, will you commit to find that passion because without that it’s like forgetting to put the intimacy logs on the bonfire of love and you’ll then find yourself with only smoldering ashes, or even less?

Again, we will never know what Al and Tipper Gore have gone through, but this is an ideal time for you to check in with your core relationship and honestly assess what your work life balance is and how it’s impacting your relationship.

If it’s not where you want it to be, it may be time for you to seek out a relationship counselor who can help you get back on track to have a great life, and fulfilling career and a most passionate relationship with your life partner!

“Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

And Marry YourSelf First Everyday!

Feel Free To Leave a Comment or Two…

Your most precious, valued possessions and your greatest powers are invisible and intangible. No one can take them. You, and you alone, can give them. You will receive abundance for your giving. The more you give—the more you will have!

Give a smile to everyone you meet (smile with your eyes)—and you’ll smile and receive smiles.

Give a kind word (with a kindly thought behind the word)—you will be kind and receive kind words.

 Give honor, credit and applause (the victor’s wreath)—you will be honorable and receive credit and applause.

Give time for a worthy cause (with eagerness)—you will be worthy and richly rewarded.

Give hope (the magic ingredient for success)—you will have hope and be made hopeful.

Give happiness (a most treasured state of mind)—you will be happy and be made happy.

Give encouragement (the incentive to action)—you will have courage and be encouraged.

Give cheer (the verbal sunshine)—you’ll be cheerful and cheered. 

Give a pleasant response (the neutralizer of irritants)—you will be pleasant and receive pleasant responses.

Give good thoughts (nature’s character builder)—you will be good and the world will have good thoughts for you.

Give prayers (the instrument of miracles) for the godless and the godly—you will be reverent and receive blessings, more than you deserve!

Be generous! Give!

~W. Clement Stone

Marry YourSelf First Every Day in Every Way!

Do you have a Power Mantra?

Better yet, as you may be asking,
what IS a Power Mantra?

Think: An affirmation on steroids!

Several of you who’ve attended my
workshops asked about mine,
so here it is in its entirety:

Every moment of every day,
I get better and better in every way…
A better body, a better mind;
a better Spirit in all that I find…
Better friends and better work,
and at core:
I find better self-worth!

Every moment of every day,
I get richer and richer in every way…
A richer body, a richer mind;
a richer Spirit in all I do find…
Richness in my friends and richness at work,
and again at the core:
I find the richest self-worth!
 
Every moment of every day,
I get stronger and stronger in every way…
A stronger body, a stronger mind,
a stronger Spirit in all that I find…
The strongest friends and strength at my work,
and deep in my core:
I find my strongest self-worth!
 
Every moment of every day,
I get wiser and wiser in every way…
A wiser body, a wiser mind;
a wiser Spirit in all I do find…
Wiser friends and wisdom at my work,
and deep down in my core:
I find the wisest self-worth!
Now, go create one for yourself!!

And Marry YourSelf First Every Day!

And leave a comment below…

A stands for Attraction; more specifically the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction states that like energies attract each other.
Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative. Therefore,
if you are putting out negative energy you will therefore attract negative
energy into your life. Likewise, if you are putting out positive energy
you will attract positive energy into your life.

So the question is: What vibration are you sending out? If it is negative,
how about experimenting with some new ways of managing your life
to create more positive energy?

See Chapter 2 in Marry YourSelf First!: Doing the Abun-Dance:
The Law of Attraction and the Art of Prosperous Living
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

B stands for Boundaries; and that includes both the boundaries
you have with others and the boundaries you have with yourself.

Saying “No” to something that is unacceptable is an example of a boundary,
as is assertively and proactively asking for what you do want.

Your boundaries with yourself will determine how much balance you have
in your life. Knowing where to end one part of your life (i.e.: Work) and
begin another (i.e.: Family) will help you to stay in touch with your whole
being and therefore create more balance, which, in turn, always results in a
happier and healthier lifestyle.

Do you know your boundaries and are you living according to them?

See Chapters 4 and 5 in Marry YourSelf First!:
4 – The Apples in the Apple Pie:
Knowing What You’ve Got to Have, Want to Have, and Will Not Settle For
And
5- Juggling Bowling Balls While Walking Across Hot Coals:
The Balance Challenge of Life
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

C stands for Communication; specifically your ability to attain and
maintain productive communication with others.

Do you know how to avoid getting “hooked” by another’s
manipulative maneuvering? Do you speak up for yourself,
express your feelings and make your requests directly?
These are all examples of healthy communication skills.

And perhaps the biggest communication skill is that of listening. Do
you know how to combine martial artistry with your listening ability to
create a space of “Zen Listening” in which you can be unaffected by
what another may say but still stay in the conversation?

See Chapter 7 in Marry YourSelf First!: Communication Poker:
Knowing When to Hold `em, Show `em and Fold `em
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

D stands for Deal-makers and Deal-breakers; specifically
your ability to know them and adhere to them.

If you have not written your lists of deal-makers and deal-breakers,
then you are potentially setting yourself up to settle for something
or someone beneath your standards. When you settle for less you
impact your self-esteem and distort your sense of reality.

The bottom-line is that living life without knowing or adhering to
your deal-makers and deal-breakers sets you up for failure, depression,
anxiety and addictive behavior. Now, you don’t want any of that, right??!!

Write your Deal-makers and Deal-breakers lists TODAY!!

See Chapters 4, 5, 6 and 8 in Marry YourSelf First!:
6- Getting the Love: Surrounding Yourself with
Supportive Networks and Communities
And
8- Building Your House on Solid Ground:
Understanding the Relationship Hierarchy
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

E stands for Emotional Management; specifically the
management of the “slipperier” emotions.

This would include anger, fear and sadness.
Most of us have not had any training on how to deal
with these so we have made up our own “rules” about these emotions.
Many of these “rules” are very unrealistic and unhealthy.

The bottom-line is that you are an emotional being and you have every
right to feel and express your feelings as long as you do no harm to
others as you are expressing yourself.

Fear is perhaps THE most challenging emotion, but remember:
You can have FEAR (Fictitious Events Appearing Real) or
FEAR (Face Everything And Rejoice).

Which do you choose??

See Chapters 3 and 9 in Marry YourSelf First!:
3- In Search of the Missing Donut Hole: Your Soul Print
And
9- If It Feels Weird, Do It:
Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into Your Growth Zone
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

There you go: A whole new way of living your
ABC’s that you’ll never be too old for!!

And a few more valid reasons to Marry YourSelf First!
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

Read more from Ken Donaldson here…