Ken Donaldson on Manage You First: Live, Love, Laugh and Time to Have Fun!
“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” ~Dale Carnegie
When was the last time you scheduled “fun time” into your week?
Like literally on your calendar it says “Fun”?
For most people it’s not often enough.
In fact, for many people, it’s never.
Remember Jack?
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”.
Don’t be a Jack.
You may have heard something like this:
- Live like you cannot fail.
- Love like you’ll never be hurt.
- Laugh like no one else cares.
So…what’s the point of all that?
When you live, love and laugh like this, you’re bound to be having fun.
Some recent research revealed that:
- 26% of U.S. adults report being on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown.
- 26% of U.S. workers take no vacations at all.
Think there might some correlation here?
Maybe!
These are classic examples of people who did not schedule fun into their lives.
There is an old proverb that states, “A merry heart makes a good medicine.”
Wow…there “it” is in its simplest form.
There is a term “Psychoneuroimmunology” (PNI) which essentially looks at the mind-body connection.
And what is being discovered is that how we take care of our minds and our bodies has a direct impact on our immune system.
In other words, what we think and how we act can make us either well or sick.
Which do you think fun does?
Of course…fun makes you well…maybe even “weller”!!
Perhaps the beginning point is back at your calendar.
What would happen if you scheduled in some fun time every day?
Immediately many people would think, “I don’t have time for all the things I want to do already, how could I possibly find time for fun?!!”
How could you NOT?!!
Think about this:
- Workplaces that have a more fun environment have better employee morale, less turnover, higher productivity and superior customer service.
- Families that have more fun are more open, more relaxed, more playful and more connected.
- People who have a “more fun attitude” are more attractive, healthier, happier, and have better relationships.
Should I go on?
What would happen if you scheduled your fun time first every week?
Why don’t you try it?
What’s the worst that could happen?
- You’ll be happier?
- You’ll be healthier?
- You’ll be more connected with others?
- You’ll be more successful?
Yeah…maybe you should stay away from fun…right?!!
Okay, here it is in 7 easy steps:
1.) Schedule fun time every day, even if it’s only 10 or 15 minutes. It has to be fun, NOT work pretending to be fun (I Know who you are!!).
2.) At the end of the day ask yourself what you liked best about your fun time.
3.) At the end of each week, evaluate your health, happiness and relationship harmony.
4.) If it feels embarrassing, uncomfortable, weird or awkward, you’re probably right on target. Those feelings will all pass with practice.
5.) Get some fun friends to join you in this fun commitment and share with each other your “funnest” moments of the day.
6.) Remember, this fun is all about you. It does NOT include making fun of other people. That’s NOT fun.
7.) If you get stuck and can’t seem to do it, then go to your local party or costume store and spend a buck on a clown nose. Wear that during your scheduled fun time. The rest will happen on its own!
Yes, it’s time for you to have more fun…live more…love more…and laugh more.
It’ll make your life more better!
Marry YourSelf First!
Ken Donaldson on Manage You First: How to Keep Your Thinking from Shrinking, Sinking or Stinking…
Filed under: happiness, Ken Donaldson's Blog, manage you first, marry yourself first, positive thinking, success
Do you have a surplus of negative thoughts?
Many people do, so don’t be surprised if your answer was, “Yes.”
And what about positive thoughts? Ever have too many of those?
No…of course not.
So if you’re like most people, you’d like to have more positive thinking and less negative thinking, right?
Sounds simple enough, right?
NOT?
Positive thinkers (those people who simply and easily have positive thoughts) are either gifted with their “positive thinkings” or have worked diligently, and very consciously, to create an overall positive attitude.
My experience suggests that most people are in the latter category: People who had to figure out the “secret” formula of having positive thoughts and creating a positive attitude.
Here are a few quotes from some familiar people about attitude:
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. ~Ancient Persian Saying
If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one. ~Cavett Robert
Oh, my friend, it’s not what they take away from you that counts. It’s what you do with what you have left. ~Hubert Humphrey
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill
But before we go any further, let’s ask a question, “Why?…Why would you, or anyone, want to have less negative thinking and more positive thoughts?”
Check this out:
“The Ohio Longitudinal Study Of Aging and Retirement, a 20-year study of people who were 50 years or older found that our attitude about aging affected how long we lived, showed that people who had a more positive view about aging lived an average of 7.8 years longer than those who did not hold positive views about aging (adapted from American Chronicle, Oct. 2006).”
Let’s stop right there!
A positive attitude will help you live longer…is that a good enough reason?
Ever heard the expression, “Attitude is everything”?
Well, it is!
Your attitude and the thoughts, positive or negative, that come from it will dictate your happiness, your health, the success of your career and the level of harmony in all your relationships.
Your attitude is the root-system of all your thoughts.
Got positive thinking and positive thoughts? Then thank your attitude!
Got negative thinking or negative thoughts? If so, then it’s time for an attitude adjustment!
Here are seven simple ways to create a positive attitude:
1.) Create a mantra or positive affirmation that best summarizes the state of how you want to truly be; for example, it might be something like, “I find the positive in every situation.”
2.) Visualize yourself using this mantra in your daily activities. For example, if you know that you’ve gotten frustrated in the past with checkout lines at the grocery store, then visualize yourself saying the mantra to yourself and then looking around for positive perspectives of that situation.
This can be especially helpful if you know you’re going to encounter a person, event or situation that has had a negative charge in your past. Mentally prepare and prep yourself for new and positively different response patterns by practicing these “cognitive rehearsals.”
You’re simply “retraining your brain” to respond in a way that you desire, rather than the old reactive auto-pilot ways.
3.) Inventory yourself at the end of each day and honestly ask yourself how you did. Celebrate your wins, victories and accomplishments and also make note of ongoing challenging areas and make those priorities to practice on in the future.
4.) Journal your progress and challenge points and review this weekly. Again, celebrate your progress and pinpoint any ongoing challenges.
5.) Get a few friends or colleagues involved and meet together once or twice a month to compare notes. ONLY pick people who are 100% committed to change their attitude to positive. No sour grapes, whiners or chronic complainers allowed, unless they are 100% willing to leave their evil ways of the past behind them.
6.) Surround yourself with positive reminders: Quotes, pictures and other physical items will remind you of the direction you want to go.
7.) Consider hiring a coach or therapist to help you if you feel stuck or have difficulty breaking these patterns.
Negative thinking and stinking thinking will leave you sinking and shrinking in your life.
Time for you to create a positive attitude that will lead you to gratitude and a life of Magnitude!
Today: Marry YourSelf First!
Coach Ken Donaldson on Why Happiness Is A Problem
“If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.” ~Richard Bach
How could happiness possibly be a problem?
At first glance, it shouldn’t be, right?!
But what about people who don’t believe they can truly be happy?
Or those people who think that happiness is only a fleeting experience that often ends up leaving them feeling disappointed when it goes away in its seemingly ever so unexpected and unpredictable ways?
So here are a couple questions to ask yourself about happiness:
- Do you believe you deserve happiness?
- Do you believe happiness can be sustained?
- Do you believe happiness requires management?
- Do you believe happiness can grow and spread like a virus?
- Do you believe happiness can be created…out of anything or nothing at all?
If you answered “Yes” to all five questions, then congratulations…you just passed The Happiness Test.
Take a minute and go a bit deeper on each of the questions…
Question #1: Do you believe you deserve happiness?
Some people don’t. Why? Because somewhere deep down in their belief system they got “programmed” or influenced to believe that they were not worthy and able to receive happiness.
The good news is that anyone who has this “can’t be happy” belief can be “counter-conditioned.”
Yes, you can plant new seeds in the deep crevasses of your mind to make happiness okay, normal, acceptable and even attractive.
Question #2: Do you believe happiness can be sustained?
If you think happiness is something that comes and goes on its own, it’s more luck than skill, and that you have no control or input over happiness, then you need to listen: You have full control of happiness.
Yes, you create it, sustain it and maintain it. The key word (again) is “believe.”
Whatever you believe is your reality.
Hear and see that again: Whatever you believe is your reality.
If you believe happiness can be sustained, then it will be.
But if you believe happiness is more based on luck, then chances are, happiness will not be sustained.
But isn’t it nice to know that you’re in charge of all that?
Question #3: Do you believe happiness requires management?
Perhaps the most difficult management you will ever have is the management between your ears.
That means managing your attitude, thoughts and emotions.
Ever hear the saying, “You are what you ate”?
A.T.E. = Attitude, Thoughts, Emotions.
Yes…you are definitely what you ATE.
You are your attitude, thoughts and emotions; or at least these three inner components will dictate most of, and maybe even all of, your life.
It’s up to you to manage your attitude, thoughts and emotions.
Question #4: Do you believe happiness can grow and spread like a virus?
This is one place where the words “sneezing” and “virus” are actually acceptable.
Preferred, in fact!
When you sneeze happiness and let it spread like a virus to the people around you, you spread the happiness energy.
Happiness is designed to be contagious, so let it spread.
However, you may want to know this: There are some happiness stompers out there who probably answer “No” to some or all of the five questions from The Happiness Test.
And because of their unfortunate negatively tainted believe system, they may actually come across as somewhat anti-happiness.
This is where you can allow ignorance to be a benefit. Pretend like you don’t see them or hear them. Be ignorant about them.
Otherwise, you may allow their anti-happiness attitude to influence you from spreading the happiness virus.
Question #5: Do you believe happiness can be created…out of anything or nothing at all?
Watch a child. Yes, watch how a child is often more fascinated with the box than the present that was in the box.
Watch how a child will smile at the smallest thing.
And sometimes, apparently, this same child will smile at nothing at all.
Part of the happiness factor is to always allow yourself to tap into some of that “kid energy” within you.
We all have it.
Some people, however, have gotten into the “it’s now time to grow up, be serious and act my age” syndrome.
No worries, it’s easy to cure: Go to a playground and swing on a swing.
Yes, go do something that is NON productive.
That’s one way to tap into happiness…out of nothing.
Happiness is a belief and an attitude and you have 100% control of that.
If you have a stressful environment, simply place a clown nose in the middle of that environment and watch what changes: You will!
Now, just think about a clown nose being there and see what changes: You do!
Happiness: It’s an inside game that you can win anytime and all the time…all you have to do is play!
Marry YourSelf First!…Today!
Ken Donaldson: Vision Map 2010
Have you made your Vision Map for 2010 yet?
Want more health, wealth and happiness in this new year?
Then it’s time to create your Vision Map!
Here’s short video about the Vision Map and some examples of how to make yours.
Remember: If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?
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Marry YourSelf First! Audio
Marry YourSelf First is now available on audio! Click here to learn more
Men and Depression
Why The Hell Am I Feeling This Way? Men and Depression: For all Men and the Women who love them Click Here
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