“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you.  They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.” ~Author Unknown

Imagine two lovers in a canoe fully enjoying the bliss of each other’s company as they’re paddling down this beautiful river of life.

Suddenly, one of them turns to adjust to some minor rapids…the canoe suddenly becomes unstable and the pleasure and harmony the two of them had been sharing suddenly disappears into fear and shock.

“What the heck are you doing?!!…Stop rocking the canoe,” one shouts to the other.

Then the unthinkable happens…one of them is flung from the canoe into the water.

And the blame game then commences.

“Look what you made me do…you made me fall into the water…you moron!”

“I was just trying to help…can’t you see that? Besides, you’ll dry off,” is a typical rational, but yet defensive response.

“Trying to help?!! How the #!#!!! was that helping?!!”

“Quit overreacting…You’re always so dramatic!”

“You insensitive #!!##%!!…thank you so much for caring!”

“Great…and now you have to get sarcastic just like your mother!”

Freeze frame.

What’s going on here?

This is called “life showing up in the midst of the relationship”, but certainly not the optimal management of such.

Let’s face it, there will be times when life suddenly and unexpectedly turns and throws you a wicked screwball.

These are the moments when you’re all tested to see how well you can manage stress, self, life and relationships.

Not always an easy juggling act.

But here are 7 simple steps and reminders that will prove to be helpful:

1.) When unexpected change occurs (like rapids in the river of life), do your best to communicate to each other about what you’re doing to respond to the situation. “Honey, I’m going to shift myself to the other side of the canoe…just wanted to let you know.”

Simple, right?

2.) In case the former (#1) does NOT occur, do your best to respond to the unexpected reaction of your partner in as graceful a way as possible. “I’m noticing you’re moving…what are you going to do next? What would be best for me to do?”

I know…sounds too simple, doesn’t it? The simple stuff is almost always best when it comes to effective communication.

3.)  And should the unfortunate happen and you accidentally get flung out of the comfort of your canoe into the river of life, it’s best to simply request some assistance first and foremost. “I was wondering if you could help me.”

Again, simple is simple…and best!

4.) Be reminded that the primary connection point in any relationship is the ability to understand and support each other. Too often, when an emotional charge is introduced, one or both people in the relationship turn their backs on each other or, worse yet, attack each other.

That’s a great way to sink the canoe in a hurry!

5.) That being said, it’s important to remind yourself that you can override your emotional state. Even though emotions are very powerful and sometimes seem to be in control, you and your logical mind actually have the final say.

Find your sanity and say something nice…yes, simple, right?!!

6.) When you get into the canoe, you might want to remind each other of the possibility of rapids. Although it’s impossible to plan for every change that occurs in life, it’s always good to have a proactive plan when you can.

7.) Listen first; speak later…then listen more; and speak much later. Active listening is your most powerful ally. It’ll keep you from saying something that you may regret later, as well as anything that could be potentially hurtful.

Remember: Your partner is a human being with emotions…do what YOU can to take care of those emotions…when you both do that, you have an unbeatable team against the stress, change and strain of life.

Then, when you have done all that, you’ll be able to dance in your relationship canoe and maintain the balance of life.

Yep, you will.

More from Ken Donaldson…

Marry YourSelf First!

That wonderful and amazing piece of technology that takes you from one place to another…
usually without any difficulty.

And what is one big element the car relies on to get you there?

The tires…those round rubber donuts which “usually”
create no problems.

Let’s talk about your tires…stick with me here… it’ll all start to make sense…
I promise!

Think of your life as being a car and your tires as one of the most important dynamics to get you
where you want to be in your life.

Each of the tires have an important role, so let’s take a closer look at the tires…

Tire #1: The Know YourSelf Tire

This tire consists of your purpose, your values and your vision.

Take the time now to answer the following questions:

Why am I here (purpose)?
Where am I going (vision)?
What’s most important (values)?

If this tire is not properly aligned, balanced or inflated, your car will not work properly and
you’re likely to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.

And THAT would be a HUGE bummer!

Tire #2: The Love YourSelf Tire

This tire consists of the ways you affirm yourself, talk to yourself, talk about yourself and
the balance (or lack thereof ) you have in your life.

Answer these questions now:
What good things do I say to myself every day?
How do I celebrate me every day?
How do I love myself every day?
How do I keep myself healthy every day?

Like tire #1, if this tire is not properly aligned, balanced or inflated, your car will
not work properly and you’re likely  – again – to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.

More bummers!

Tire #3: The Believe in YourSelf Tire

This tire consists of your self-confidence, your communication capabilities, and your ability
to “Play Big” in life.

Answer these additional questions now:
How do I strengthen my confidence muscle?
How do I expand my communication skills?
How can I play bigger and bigger every day in Life?

Yes, like tires #1 and #2, if this tire is not properly aligned, balanced or inflated, your car
will not work properly and you’re most likely to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.

Breakdowns like these are unnecessary and HUGE bummers!

Tire #4: The Guide YourSelf Tire

This tire consists of your boundaries, priority management and stress management skills.

Answer these last questions now:
How do I evaluate my boundaries?
How do I prioritize my life?
How do I manage stress in my life?

I’m sure you’re catching on…yes, like tires #1, #2 and #3, if this tire is not properly
aligned, balanced or inflated, you’re likely to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.

And another bummer!

NOW, the only other question is:
What are you going to do about all this?

One answer…and you know what it is:

Marry YourSelf First!
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If for some reason you haven’t gotten your copy yet, today is the day.
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If you have your copy, but aren’t using it AND all the wonderful supports and bonuses…
what are you waiting for? A Breakdown???

Plus, today is the last day that CASA – Community Action Stops Abuse – and the
American Diabetes Association will be receiving free books and
a generous percentage of all sales (25%!!).

Invest in some books (the package deals are great for the holidays AND you’ll
get FREE books!) now and keep your tires in alignment, balanced and inflated and
you’ll get further in life than you ever imagined!
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AND – of course – you’ll automatically receive a complimentary
one year membership to the Personal Empowerment Coaching Program.

One year FREE!
Go now: http://kendonaldson.com/store/

Go get your tire situation straightened out now.

At least answer those 13 questions for yourself… they may be
the most important questions you ever ask yourself!

And Marry YourSelf First every day…in every way!

And have an awesome weekend!

Peace and Prosperity…

Ken