Ken Donaldson Says, Manage You First: New Beginnings…Beginning With You
How do you manage yourself, your work-life balance, and at the same time, maintain physical and mental health, harmony in your family and an overall sense of happiness?
Life is challenging today and when additional pressures are added, without the proper resources, something can break down, resulting in decreased performance, poor health, unnecessary personal power struggles and an overall bad attitude.
The good news is that you can do something about all this.
It all starts with YOU managing YOU First!
Are YOU up for it?
Let’s look at some of the current research related to work-life balance (or the lack thereof) and career satisfaction:
1. 26% of U.S. adults report being on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown.
2. 40% of U.S. workers describe their office environment as “most like a real-life survivor program.”
3. 62% of U.S. workers routinely end the day with work-related neck pain, 44% report strained eyes, 38% complain of hand pain, and 34% report difficulty in sleeping due to work-related stress.
4. 26% of U.S. workers take no vacations at all.
5. 88% of U.S. employees say they have a hard time juggling work and life.
6. 70% of U.S. working fathers and working mothers report they don’t have enough time for their children.
7. 64% of Americans report that time pressures on working families are getting worse, not better.
8. Americans work 137 more hours per year than Japanese workers, 260 more hours per year than British workers, and 499 more hours per year than French workers. The Japanese document approximately 10,000 cases per year of “death by overwork,” or karoosh. Considering the above stats, what must the undocumented U.S. numbers be??
9. People in the U.S. work approximately 8 weeks longer per year than in 1969—in the space of a single generation—but for roughly the same income (after adjusting for inflation)
10. AND the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics tracks just about everything but worker satisfaction.
So…what does one make from all this?
Work-life balance? Where is it? It doesn’t seem to exist.
Let’s add in a few more “realities of life.”
- 50% of first marriages end in divorce. This goes up to 60% for second timers and 70% for third times.
Obviously changing partners is not the solution, but more importantly, take a look at what must be relational ignorance.
Relationship intelligence? Lacking, to say the least.
How, then, do we cope with all these work and relational challenges?
Not so well.
Here’s more:
- One in every five Americans suffers from a diagnosable mental condition and the majority of those people never receive treatment.
- Alcoholism and alcohol abuse are the third leading cause of the preventable deaths in the United States.
- From 1960 to 2006, the prevalence of obesity increased from 13.4% to 35.1% in U.S. adults age 20 to 74.
- 15 million people display some sign of gambling addiction.
- A VERY conservative estimate suggests that 3% – 5% of the U.S. population struggles with “sexual compulsion disorders.”
SO…what to do with all this?
Manage YOU First!
Yes, you must know how to manage you first.
What does this mean?
How about a new 13 Step Program?
1.) Manage Your Personal Vision
2.) Manage Your Life Purpose
3.) Manage Your Unique Values
4.) Manage Your Fear
5.) Manage Your Past: Feel It, Heal It and Release It
6.) Manage Your Emotions
7.) Manage Your Thoughts
8.) Manage Your Belief System
9.) Manage Your Actions (and Reactions)
10.) Manage Your Relationships
11.) Manage Your Career
12.) Manage Your Free Time
13.) Manage Your Health
There…start with that.
Effectively manage these 13 steps and you’ll avoid being one of the above statistics.
Manage You First and you’ll win every time…you’ll win with your health, your career, your relationships, your happiness and, of course, your life.
And Marry YourSelf First!
Ken Donaldson on Mental Health, Mental Illness and Mental Wellness
Check out this mouthful: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Office of Applied Studies released the highlights from their 2009 report.
(Did you get all that?)
Overall they shared that in 2009 there were approximately 45.1 million adults (aged 18 or older) in the U.S. with a diagnosable mental condition. This represents about 20% of all adults in this country.
That includes everything from paranoid type schizophrenia chronic state with acute exacerbation to adjustment disorder with mixed emotional features, as well as all points in-between.
That means, more or less, one out of every five people struggle with some type of diagnosable mental condition.
That’s a lot of people…yes?
In fact, that would make mental disorders the most common of all medical disorders and conditions in the U.S.
And, among adults (again, aged 18 or older) in 2009, the percentage having a “serious mental condition” was about 5% which is about 11.0 million adults.
How do you define “serious mental condition”?
It would include some or all of the following symptoms:
• Distorted perceptions; loss of contact with reality, such as delusions or hallucinations.
• Disordered, disorganized and confused thinking.
• Unstable and inappropriate emotions.
• Bizarre behavior.
• Severely impaired judgment.
Additionally, these serious mental conditions also would include:
• High vulnerability to stress.
• Extreme dependency.
• Extreme hostility.
• Extreme difficulty with interpersonal relationships.
• Deficient or non-existent coping skills.
• Poor ability to learn and fear of new situations.
• Severely restricted emotional response and overall lack of enjoyment.
• Reduced/impaired speech and inability to engage in abstract thinking.
• Inability to pay attention, as well as overall “slowness.”
• Apathy, lack of motivation and phobic avoidance of situations.
• Sensitivity to over- (and under-) stimulation.
Wow…that’s quite a list!
But don’t worry, there’s ONLY about 11 million who have a serious mental condition.
But let’s go on with the report.
Adult women were more likely than adult men to have any mental condition (23.8% vs. 15.6%) or serious mental condition (6.4% vs. 3.2%) in 2009.
(So, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this you might want to take some extra steps to protect yourself.)
Additionally, about 8.4 million adults (3.7%) had serious thoughts about suicide in the past year. Among these, about 2.2 million (1.0%) made suicide plans in the past year, and 1.0 million (0.5%) attempted suicide in the past year.
(Don’t take it lightly…if someone you know talks about suicide, contact a professional.)
Also, among the 45.1 million adults with a mental condition in 2009, just about 20% (8.9 million) met criteria for substance dependence or abuse in that period compared with “only” 6.5% (11.9 million) among those who did not have mental illness in the past year.
When substance abuse is mixed with a mental condition, it results in what is commonly referred to as “double trouble” which means that these two destructive forces collide with each other, dramatically amplifying the negative consequences.
Now here’s where the report gets really interesting.
Among the 45.1 million adults with a mental condition in 2009, only 17.1 million (37.9%) received mental health services in the past year.
Wow…far less than half received treatment! How come?
No insurance? Maybe.
Inadequate insurance (No mental health coverage)? Probably.
Didn’t know they needed help (Denial)? Perhaps.
Didn’t want to admit they needed help (Ego)? Definitely.
Didn’t know where to go or what to ask for (Societal ignorance)? Absolutely.
(Bottom-line: We’re too ignorant, too ill-equipped and too egotistical to go for help.)
Furthermore, in 2009 there were 2 million youths (those between 12 and 17), or 8.1% of the adolescent population, who had a major depressive episode during the past year.
(That is ONLY major depression and does NOT cover any other mental conditions.)
Of these 2 million youths who experienced a major depressive episode, 35.7% used illicit drugs in the past year compared with 18% among those youths who did not have a major depressive episode in the last year.
(Once again, double trouble.)
SO…what do we do with all this and what conclusions can be drawn?
First, it’s clear that there is a lack of mental wellness and mental health education in our mainstream.
Think of the difference in these numbers if we taught kids, beginning at an early age, how to better cope with life and the stressors thereof.
Stress management, assertiveness training, healthy boundary setting and values clarification are just a few of the many topics that could be (and should be!) included in the regular curriculum for every child.
(How about “leaving no child behind” with that?!!)
Second, why do we still treat mental health issues separately from other health issues?
Mental health deserves the same dignity, rights and treatment as any other medical condition.
Third, why do SO many doctors not have a clue how to properly treat their patients (i.e. about 90% of people prescribed anti-depressants are never prescribed therapy to go with it…hello??)?
Maybe there could be much more focus put on the doctor-patient relationship, rather than the doctor-insurance company relationship.
And fourth, when are we going to wake up and treat ourselves more holistically, instead of thinking that our heads are not connected to our bodies?
And, fifth, what would happen if we starting thinking more more mental wellness?
Just a few things to think about…just asking…
And Marry YourSelf First!
12 Questions: Childhood Obesity, Adult Obesity, and Eating Disorders
- What are some of the primary causes that often are the foundation for obesity, addiction and eating disorders?
- How does someone who is overweight or obese get help, stop eating obsessively and really lose the weight?
- What are the best ways to prevent these afflictions from happening, since they are so difficult to correct?
- So much government funding, healthcare dollars, and other monies are poured into solving these crises, yet we seem to be making no progress. What can be done?
- What can parents, friends and family do to help their children get support and sustained recovery?
- How does “stress” play a role in driving obesity and eating disorders? (Stress from school, work, dysfunctional families, and violence on television and in media.)
- How does one overcome food addiction and “emotional” eating?
- What should one do when hit with an “emotional” craving for food that the body does not need?
- What can we do to nurture ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?
- Why is preventing childhood obesity such an important health issue in our society? What are the risks of being overweight from a young age?
- What is the food and beverage industry doing to help or hinder the issues related to obesity?
- What is the best advice we can give parents who are, perhaps, in crisis over these problems?
Get answers: Join me on Thurs. Sept. 30 9 p.m. EST:
Celebrate Recovery from Childhood Obesity, Adult Obesity and Eating Disorders
Ken Donaldson: Hidden Anguish…Men and Anxiety
(This is written for men, but ladies, feel free to read it as well.)
I see men every week in my practice who struggle with anxiety. And I know there are millions who are also suffering unnecessarily because they don’t understand what’s going on with them or are too resistant to seek out help. I too have struggled with this dreaded and unpredictable angst and I know the effects first hand both on me as a person, and as a man.
For too long we have wrestled with the stigmas of mental health issues and all the varied diagnosis. Many of us have taken on beliefs that “we’re showing our weakness if we have to ask for help.”
Nothing could be further from the truth.
It takes courage and strength to ask for help and commit to overcome anxiety. And for what it’s worth, there are, and have been, many other men who’ve wrestled with the same demons of anxiety. And many who have overcome.
Here’s a few you’ve probably heard of:
- Abraham Lincoln – President
- Al Kasha – Songwriter
- Alfred Lord Tennyson – Poet
- Anthony Hopkins – Actor
- Burt Reynolds – Actor
- Charles Schultz – Cartoonist
- Dave Stewart – Singer of Eurythmics
- David Bowie – Singer
- Dean Cain – Actor
- Dick Clark – Television Personality
- Donny Osmond – Singer/Actor
- Earl Campbell -Heisman Trophy Winner
- Edvard Munch – Artist
- Eric Clapton – Musician
- Howard Stern – “King of Media”
- Howie Mandel – Comic
- Isaac Asimov – Author
- James Garner – Actor
- Jim Eisenreich – Baseball
- John Candy – Comedian
- John Cougar Mellencamp – Musician/Actor
- John Madden – Sports Announcer
- John Steinbeck – Author
- John Stuart Mill – Philosopher
- Johnny Depp – Actor
- Michael Crichton – Writer
- Michael English – Gospel Artist
- Michael Jackson- Singer
- Nicholas Cage- Actor
- Nikola Tesla – Inventor
- Pete Harnisch – Baseball
- Ray Charles – Musician
- Robert Burns – Poet
- Robert McFarlane – Former U.S. National Security Advisor
- Sam Shepard – Playwright
- Sigmund Freud – Psychiatrist
- Sir Isaac Newton – Scientist
- Sir Laurence Olivier – Actor
- Tom Snyder – Host
- Tony Dow – Actor, Director
- W.B. Yeats – Poet
- Willard Scott – Weatherman
The REALLY good news is that there is effective treatment for anxiety and quite frankly, it’s one of the simplest issues to address and correct.
But here are some rather alarming statistics about anxiety:
• Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18.1% of U.S. population).
• Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a year, almost one-third of the country’s $148 billion total mental health bill.
• More than $22.84 billion of those costs are associated with the repeated use of health care services; people with anxiety disorders seek relief for symptoms that mimic physical illnesses.
• People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.
(~The Anxiety Disorders Association of America)
Whether you’re male or female, you don’t have to suffer.
But guys, let go of the machismo and ask for help. You’ll be happier than ever that you did.
And you’ll join the long list of other men who have done the same.
Call me…let’s get started today..(727) 394-7325
Ken Donaldson, Lindsay Lohan, addiction and mental health
“Life is full of risks anyway, why not take them?”~ Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan is in the news again and besides the obvious and disturbing chain of events that she has imposed upon herself, this does make for an interesting case study about mental health, addiction and overall life balance.
Lindsay has had a couple of arrests and has been in and out of treatment for her mental health and substance abuse issues. One may think that someone who has this potential as a movie star would make choices to “clean up” their life.
Not that she has been the first “star” to succumb to drugs and alcohol.
In fact, it happens every day.
We every day people just don’t always hear about it.
But what are the big lessons here? What can we all learn from this (including Lindsay, hopefully!)?
1.) Drug and alcohol misuse, abuse and addiction are still alive and well. In spite of there being less news about these trends, they are still progressing in an expanding direction. For example, the prescription pain-killer epidemic is like the heroin craze from the 60s and 70s.
2.) Denial is king when it comes to addiction. Denial has many different variations. Minimizing, justifying, rationalizing, blaming others and intellectualizing are just a few of the different variations. The bottom-line is that denial is the #1 most common and powerful characteristic of any and all addictive behavior.
3.) Sometimes it’s not just addiction. There have been numerous reports that Lindsay is also suffering from clinical depression or bi-polar disorder. We’ll probably never know as that information is kept confidential. Nor do we need to know.
But here’s something to consider: People often turn to drugs and alcohol as an attempt to self-medicate themselves from ailments like depression, anxiety, panic and unresolved trauma. This is commonly referred to as “double trouble” as the combination of any of these emotional conditions with drugs or alcohol creates a negative synergistic result that can be deadly.
4.) Don’t expect help to come knocking at your door. Usually the only time we really hear about drug and alcohol problems is when a celebrity has a problem and the media picks it up and reports on it. We are, in general, poorly equipped to know what to do with addiction. Additionally, and this is a bit of a kicker, many people are in denial about denial. People just don’t want to know and, therefore, don’t know what to do when the problem shows up in their friends, family or in themselves.
The good news is that recovery is not only possible, it’s actually quite simple.
However, don’t confuse simple with easy.
It’s not “easy” to break the addictive patterns of drugs and alcohol. The addictive energy is very powerful and will “fight” to stay alive. The people of Alcoholics Anonymous refer to this energy as “cunning, powerful and baffling.”
Here are the foundational, and simple, pieces to healthy and successful recovery from addiction, as well as the path to the best mental health:
- The Beatles said it best: I get by with a little help from my friends. Your support system is where you can go to talk about you and your challenges. They will hold you, hug you and love you, AND they will kick you in the butt when you need it. If you don’t have a solid support system, today is a good day to start.
- Balance: Know when your life is in balance and know when it’s out. Know the indicators.
- Boundaries: Create solid boundaries with others and with yourself. Boundaries are the core to a balanced life. Know what to say “Yes” to and know what to say “No” to.
- Bliss: Know your life purpose and be passionate about it. Find and live your bliss in life.
Yes, Lindsay Lohan is in a tough situation. And let’s hope she gets it together. More importantly, YOU have a chance now to review your life, make adjustments and make sure you create an “anti-addiction” life and the best mental health possible.
And, of course, you’ll create maximum life balance too.
Today is a good day to Marry YourSelf First!
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