Dr. Tom Hanson recently released his latest book, Play Big.

If you don’t know Dr. Tom, he’s a Tampa-based sports psychologist whose niche is helping baseball players (professional and amateur) perform optimally.

More than anything else, he helps these athletes get the inside game won.

Play Big is a fictional story about a player struggling with hitting the ball (only known as “number 21”) who serendipitously meets this extremely shrewd sage who has no name but is very wise about knowing how to win the inside game of baseball (and life).

Think The Peaceful Warrior meets Field of Dreams.

On page 179 the sage introduces the “inner caveman” as the survival and safety mechanism everyone has in their brain.

When the inner caveman perceives a threat, whether it’s real or imagined, it sets off an alarm to be on guard.

When most people feel this alarm they perceive it as anxiety and usually tense up and back away from whatever the perceived threat is.

The problem with that response pattern, whether you’re playing baseball or just interacting with life, is when you tense up and/or back away, you never perform optimally.

This is an overreaction of the “fight or flight” mechanism of the brain, known more formally as the sympathetic nervous system.

When a baseball player steps up to the plate and is in a state of fight or flight, his muscles tighten up too much and he is not able to swing the bat with his natural and instinctual capabilities.

These natural capabilities are actually wired for high performance.

Yes the athlete (and everyone, including you) is wired to succeed and excel at a very high level.

More simply put, you are wired for greatness.

The ONLY thing that gets in the way is the overreactive fight or flight mechanism.

Yes…the mind simply malfunctions at times without you truly knowing why or how.

But what activates the fight or flight mechanism?

Fear.

Fear of failure and rejection to be exact.

Back to the caveman: He needed his tribe to survive, so any threat to being ostracized from the tribe would literally be life-threatening.

In spite of all the information and technological advances and discoveries made over time, the human brain is exactly the same as caveman days.

No…there is no human brain 2.0!

This means if your inner caveman perceives that a failure may lead to rejection, which may in turn lead to being ostracized, then the sympathetic nervous system is activated and you will not perform optimally if you happen to be playing baseball.

This same dynamic is also occurs in all areas of your life and as long as it reacts this way you will not perform optimally.

Not even close, in fact.

This is why the fear of failure and the fear of rejection are so prevalent (and so destructive).

Dr. Tom really didn’t write this book for the athlete; he wrote it for everyone, as everyone can benefit from this technology.

The next question: How does someone change this response pattern?

Simple…they think differently and create a different emotional response.

Here’s an example: Think about something you do every day without much attention. Something that is almost automatic. Maybe driving, or brushing your teeth or putting on your clothes.

Most people do these tasks, and most daily tasks, automatically and very confidently.

So confidently, in fact, that they don’t even think about it much or at all.

When you engage in one of these activities, you’re being unconsciously confident and competent.

Now imagine you’re able to recreate that same automatically confident energy in other tasks that maybe have been anxiety producing in the past.

What happens when you do?

You feel calmer, more at ease and more peaceful.

And when you feel calmer, more at ease and more peaceful, you automatically feel more confident and perform optimally.

You feel free. Welcome to your greatness!

So, when you visualize yourself doing anything, always see yourself doing it with great ease, calm and peace…breathe deeply and smile, as your body will automatically calm itself with breathing and smiling.

(Yes, stress, deep breathing and smiling cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Stress is overruled by a big smile and a deep breath, and then cast out.)

And remember to stop by and say thanks to Dr. Tom….sneaky guy he is trying to convince the world that this book is about baseball.

Play Big is about life and how to win in a way that will bring you the most happiness and freedom.

That is what you want, right?

More from Ken Donaldson…

And Marry YourSelf First!

The A-Z of Happy, Healthy and Harmonious Relationships (Assertiveness to Zealousness and Everything In-Between):

•    Assertiveness: You must ask for what you want…directly.

•    Boundaries: Know what to say yes to and what to say no to.

•    Communication: The cornerstone of all healthy relationships.

•    Deal Makers/ Deal Breakers: The absolutes and unbendable.

•    Emotional Management: Manage your own inside game.

•    Focus-Fear-Faith: Whatever you focus on is where you’ll go.

•    God: Practice your spirituality; whatever it is.

•    Humor: MUST have this for flexibility in the relationship…and life!

•    Integrity: Operating from your wholeness.

•    Jealousy: Just say “NO!” to jealousy.

•    Ken on Call: Have a coach or counselor you can go to help if/when you need to.

•    Logs on the Fire: Keep the fire of passion going.

•    Most Important: Operate from your values…always!

•    NO Blame, Shame or Games: Stay away as these are the three destroyers of all relationships.

•    Openness: Stay open, be honest and lead with willingness.

•    Purpose: Live according to your purpose…put purpose in your relationship…make it big and exciting!

•    Questions: Make inquiries and be curious….stay away from accusations.

•    Rituals: Create positive rituals to create ongoing positive energy.

•    Support Networks: Always have people you can turn to for help.

•    Tongue-Foo Bull-Fighting: Know how to step out of the way, when to listen and when to walk away.

•    Understanding: Always seek to understand and build a bridge.

•    Validation: Seek to find and validate each other’s emotions.

•    Work-Life Balance: Leave work at work…make time to relax and recharge.

•    X (Ex) Relationship Baggage: Leave the past in the past.

•    Yesterday-Today-Tomorrow: Live in today…period!

•    Zealousness: Always find the zeal in the life and bring it into the relationship.

Click here to get the FREE couples guide: Keeping the Affection Connection in the Perfect Direction! 40 Sure-Fire Tactics To Keep The Peace – And The Love!! – Every Day in Every Way!

And Marry YourSelf First!

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” ~Dale Carnegie

When was the last time you scheduled “fun time” into your week?

Like literally on your calendar it says “Fun”?

For most people it’s not often enough.

In fact, for many people, it’s never.

Remember Jack?

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”.

Don’t be a Jack.

You may have heard something like this:

• Live like you cannot fail.
• Love like you’ll never be hurt.
• Laugh like no one else cares.

So…what’s the point of all that?

When you live, love and laugh like this, you’re bound to be having fun.

Some recent research revealed that:

• 26% of U.S. adults report being on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown.
• 26% of U.S. workers take no vacations at all.

Think there might some correlation here?

Maybe!

These are classic examples of people who did not schedule fun into their lives.

There is an old proverb that states, “A merry heart makes a good medicine.”

Wow…there “it” is in its simplest form.

There is a term “Psychoneuroimmunology” (PNI) which essentially looks at the mind-body connection.

And what is being discovered is that how we take care of our minds and our bodies has a direct impact on our immune system.

In other words, what we think and how we act can make us either well or sick.

Which do you think fun does?

Of course…fun makes you well…maybe even “weller”!!

Perhaps the beginning point is back at your calendar.

What would happen if you scheduled in some fun time every day?

Immediately many people would think, “I don’t have time for all the things I want to do already, how could I possibly find time for fun?!!”

How could you NOT?!!

Think about this:

• Workplaces that have a more fun environment have better employee morale, less turnover, higher productivity and superior customer service.
• Families that have more fun are more open, more relaxed, more playful and more connected.
• People who have a “more fun attitude” are more attractive, healthier, happier, and have better relationships.

Should I go on?

What would happen if you scheduled your fun time first every week?

Why don’t you try it?

What’s the worst that could happen?

• You’ll be happier?
• You’ll be healthier?
• You’ll be more connected with others?
• You’ll be more successful?

Yeah…maybe you should stay away from fun…right?!!

Okay, here it is in 7 easy steps:

1.)  Schedule fun time every day, even if it’s only 10 or 15 minutes. It has to be fun, NOT work pretending to be fun (I Know who you are!!).

2.)  At the end of the day ask yourself what you liked best about your fun time.

3.)  At the end of each week, evaluate your health, happiness and relationship harmony.

4.)  If it feels embarrassing, uncomfortable, weird or awkward, you’re probably right on target. Those feelings will all pass with practice.

5.)  Get some fun friends to join you in this fun commitment and share with each other your “funnest” moments of the day.

6.)  Remember, this fun is all about you. It does NOT include making fun of other people. That’s NOT fun.

7.)  If you get stuck and can’t seem to do it, then go to your local party or costume store and spend a buck on a clown nose. Wear that during your scheduled fun time. The rest will happen on its own!

Yes, it’s time for you to have more fun…live more…love more…and laugh more.

It’ll make your life more better!

More from Ken Donaldson…

Marry YourSelf First!

Let’s get back to the basics.

You want less stress.

You want more success.

You want more happiness.

Right?

Then you MUST effectively “Manage You First.”

So, what’s the problem?

Simple: You might just not know how to do that!

Did you have a class in self-management?
Most likely not.

Did you have a class in stress management?
Doubtful.

Did you have a class in success?
Hardly.

Did you have a class (what!!) in happiness?
Nope.

That is, unless you went WAY off the beaten path, which a small percentage of people do.

5% would be a liberal estimate.

Most people, like you, didn’t get the training, mentoring, education or experience.

But you still want it.

You want less stress, more success and happiness.

There’s a simple formula, but before we go there, let’s ask, “Why?”

Why would you want to be happier?

Here are four reasons you might be interested in:
•    Happier people live longer
•    Happier people live healthier lives
•    Happier people make more money
•    Happier people do better at work

Intrigued?

Here’s another question: How do YOU define success?

This is the question that trips up many people.

And is there a correlation between your happiness and your success?

Many people define their success by their dollars, position at work, material possessions, status in the community, and/or public recognition.

What about you?

How do YOU define success (yes, you were just asked for the second time!)?

People who don’t consciously define what success is for themselves generally allow, by default, the socio-cultural norms to dictate it for them.

This is what Ralph Waldo Emerson determined to be his definition of success:

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.  This is to have succeeded!

Here are a few other “success quotes”:

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. ~Albert Einstein

Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won’t taste good. ~Joe Paterno

Eighty percent of success is showing up. ~Woody Allen

As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it’s leaning against the right building. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. ~Winston Churchill

It’s interesting that these notable quotes from highly esteemed people have very little, if any, focus on “dollars, position at work, material possessions, status in the community, and/or public recognition.”

One other question: What is stress?

Here’s what the dictionary says:
A constraining force or influence: as

a.) a force exerted when one body or body part presses on, pulls on, pushes against, or tends to compress or twist another body or body part; especially the intensity of this mutual force commonly expressed in pounds per square inch

b.) the deformation caused in a body by such a force

c.) a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation

d.) a state resulting from a stress; especially: one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium

Let’s go with this one: A physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation.

In other words, we don’t want too much of this.

But let’s more closely examine one part of this definition: Mental tension.

Is mental tension bad?

Maybe…maybe not.

Think about an athlete: An athlete MUST have extreme mental tension in order to be at the top of their game, whatever their game is.

If they don’t have mental tension, they are not in the game.

Same thing goes for performers, professional speakers, entrepreneurs, executives…geez, all of these people have a high level of both responsibility and accountability.

The key for them, and for you, is how to effectively manage that mental tension.

Too many people feel it and then either run from it, get so scared that they become paralyzed by it or try to self-medicate it though drugs, alcohol or other addictive behavior.

So let’s get back to the simple formula for “Less Stress, More Success and Happiness.”

1.)    Be clear about your personal definition of success. Spend some time with this. Write it down and revisit it often. Make sure you stay on that path of success.

2.)    Get clear that happiness is much more based on your “inside game” than the “outer results”. You cannot control much of what happens outside you (weather, politics, the economy, etc.) but you always have a choice of how you want to respond and how you want to be on the inside.

3.)    Reframe stress to become more user-friendly and have some simple stress management tools. Deep breathing, creative visualization, walks outside, exercise, connecting with friends, journaling, singing and dancing are but a few of the many stress reducing actions you can take almost anytime and anywhere (be a bit careful about singing and dancing at work!).

If you truly want Less Stress, More Success and Happiness, you now officially have the simple formula.

Feel free to tweak it, of course, to make it better fit you and your unique life.

Remember: Manage You First and everything else will follow!

More from Ken Donaldson…

And Marry YourSelf First!

The editorial team from Forbes.com, the online version of the Forbes magazine, is well known for their Top Ten lists. They recently released their Top Ten Most Stressed-Out Cities with Las Vegas being number one, followed by Los Angeles and Houston.

And what major metropolitan area is number 4? Tampa Bay! Check it out here.

Their criteria to determine these “most stressed-out cities” includes the following: High unemployment, long commute times, long work hours, limited access to health care, poor physical health and a lack of exercise.

Overall, here are the individual categories of stressors and their corresponding rankings for Tampa:

High Unemployment Rank: #5 in the U.S.

Long Commute Times Rank: #17 in the U.S.

Long Working Hours Rank: #10 in the U.S.

Limited Health Care Rank: #13 in the U.S.

Poor Physical Health Rank: #4 in the U.S.

Limited Exercise Rank: #9 in the U.S.

So, does that mean you should move? NO!

Now hear this: “Leaving the situation usually isn’t the best way to create a solution. Part of the problem is denial, which simply means that ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’.”

The path to breaking through denial is first having an awareness of these issues. If you’re not aware, you won’t change anything. Furthermore, to create less stress (and, therefore, more success), the following is also suggested:

• Most stress is lifestyle created. Regardless of how much we hear, read and see about diet and exercise, most people are still not placing a high enough value on their health.
  
• Setting boundaries with yourself, creating goals and having an accountability partner are all necessary components to creating a more stress free life.
  
• Having a good sense of humor, getting outside and connecting with nature on a regular basis, moving your body and developing a positive social network are other valuable components to decreasing stress.
  
• When we’re reminded, we are more likely to take action. Use your day-timer, your calendar or computer software to schedule in stress reducing activities.

Click here to receive your complimentary “create less stress and more success” portable workshop. This 60 minute audio is yours free just by signing up for it.

Additionally, if you can’t get the work life balance you desire, consider hiring a professional coach or therapist. It’s great investment for your health, wealth and happiness!

What do YOU think? Leave a comment below.

Pssstttt: Today is a great day to Marry YourSelf First!

• Do YOU want less stress in your life?
• Do YOU want to live more passionately (and more $$ wealthy) without working so hard?
• Do YOU want the secret (and BEST) Stress Management tools and resources?

Join me for The Personal Empowerment Program Monthly Coaching Teleclass.

http://kendonaldson.com/teleseminar

You will want to be there for sure!!

– Discover the Simple Core Secrets of ALL Health, Wealth and Wellness: Walk, Talk, Breathe and Laugh!

– Develop Your Own Song to Sing and Your Own Dance to Dance – Embracing and Enhancing Your Unique Life Path!

– Learn How to Make the Most out of Those “Nothing is Going Right” Times (HELP, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!)

PLUS you will receive a downloadable Action Guide especially written for this class so you can take notes and easily follow along!

When: Tuesday, November 17 at 8 p.m. EST

Where: From the comfort of your home or office!

Cost: FREE if you’ve purchased Marry YourSelf First!

And, I want you to send me your MOST BURNING questions and challenges associated with this topic and I’ll make sure I address them on the call!

Get registered or receive more information here:

http://kendonaldson.com/teleseminar

That wonderful and amazing piece of technology that takes you from one place to another…
usually without any difficulty.

And what is one big element the car relies on to get you there?

The tires…those round rubber donuts which “usually”
create no problems.

Let’s talk about your tires…stick with me here… it’ll all start to make sense…
I promise!

Think of your life as being a car and your tires as one of the most important dynamics to get you
where you want to be in your life.

Each of the tires have an important role, so let’s take a closer look at the tires…

Tire #1: The Know YourSelf Tire

This tire consists of your purpose, your values and your vision.

Take the time now to answer the following questions:

Why am I here (purpose)?
Where am I going (vision)?
What’s most important (values)?

If this tire is not properly aligned, balanced or inflated, your car will not work properly and
you’re likely to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.

And THAT would be a HUGE bummer!

Tire #2: The Love YourSelf Tire

This tire consists of the ways you affirm yourself, talk to yourself, talk about yourself and
the balance (or lack thereof ) you have in your life.

Answer these questions now:
What good things do I say to myself every day?
How do I celebrate me every day?
How do I love myself every day?
How do I keep myself healthy every day?

Like tire #1, if this tire is not properly aligned, balanced or inflated, your car will
not work properly and you’re likely  – again – to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.

More bummers!

Tire #3: The Believe in YourSelf Tire

This tire consists of your self-confidence, your communication capabilities, and your ability
to “Play Big” in life.

Answer these additional questions now:
How do I strengthen my confidence muscle?
How do I expand my communication skills?
How can I play bigger and bigger every day in Life?

Yes, like tires #1 and #2, if this tire is not properly aligned, balanced or inflated, your car
will not work properly and you’re most likely to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.

Breakdowns like these are unnecessary and HUGE bummers!

Tire #4: The Guide YourSelf Tire

This tire consists of your boundaries, priority management and stress management skills.

Answer these last questions now:
How do I evaluate my boundaries?
How do I prioritize my life?
How do I manage stress in my life?

I’m sure you’re catching on…yes, like tires #1, #2 and #3, if this tire is not properly
aligned, balanced or inflated, you’re likely to have a breakdown on the Highway of Life.

And another bummer!

NOW, the only other question is:
What are you going to do about all this?

One answer…and you know what it is:

Marry YourSelf First!
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

If for some reason you haven’t gotten your copy yet, today is the day.
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

If you have your copy, but aren’t using it AND all the wonderful supports and bonuses…
what are you waiting for? A Breakdown???

Plus, today is the last day that CASA – Community Action Stops Abuse – and the
American Diabetes Association will be receiving free books and
a generous percentage of all sales (25%!!).

Invest in some books (the package deals are great for the holidays AND you’ll
get FREE books!) now and keep your tires in alignment, balanced and inflated and
you’ll get further in life than you ever imagined!
http://kendonaldson.com/store/

AND – of course – you’ll automatically receive a complimentary
one year membership to the Personal Empowerment Coaching Program.

One year FREE!
Go now: http://kendonaldson.com/store/

Go get your tire situation straightened out now.

At least answer those 13 questions for yourself… they may be
the most important questions you ever ask yourself!

And Marry YourSelf First every day…in every way!

And have an awesome weekend!

Peace and Prosperity…

Ken