Why Success is Awesome
Success is often aligned with prosperity, wealth, honor, and achievement, among many other “feel good” words. Success has a Latin origin that means to follow, prosper, and to go into action. Why success is awesome is because achieving it will allow you to experience your greatest sense of you. Whatever you decide to be of wealth, richness and value is your success. Success is your path to the most natural high, your highest self-esteem and self worth.
Why is success so awesome? Simply because you are.
Perhaps you may have not fully figured out your path of success. Perhaps prosperity, wealth and achievement are words that are somewhat foreign or unfamiliar to you. Or maybe you’ve tried and tried to discover success and live a successful life, only to have some unpredictable dynamic change along the way.
What do you do then? Keep going, of course.
It is too easy to feel discouraged and then allow that feeling of failure (which is ONLY a feeling, by the way) to dictate your lack of success as being some fatal flaw. Failure is not personal, it just happens at times. And you can turn failure inside-out to be the springboard for success…really!
Heard of Bill Gates? Did you know he was a Harvard dropout? He turned failure inside-out and made himself and his company into huge successes.
If he hadn’t kept going we might still be in the digital stone age.
What about Abraham Lincoln? He had 12 major failures at being elected before he was elected president, but he kept on going towards success.
Many of the freedoms we have today are because of his tenacity and perseverance.
Isaac Newton was a poor student and his teachers gave up on him. But he did not give up on himself. He allowed himself to go forward and he became one of the most successful mathematicians and scientists ever. He allowed himself to go on in spite of failure.
The world without his impact would be far less advanced.
And of course there is Thomas Edison who was first told by his grade school teacher that he was dumb and wouldn’t amount to anything and then had over 9,000 failed experiments before he created the light bulb.
What would have happened if he had quit? We’d all be in the dark!
The list goes on but the point is this: Every successful person had far more many failures than successes. The difference is that they don’t quit. And that is what makes success so awesome.
The world needs more success so we can continue to grow and evolve. Prosperity, wealth, honor, and achievement are not only great words; they are also great targets for your life.
It would be so awesome of you to continue to step into your success so we all may benefit. Perhaps you’ll have the next great breakthrough in healthcare, economics, personal growth, spirituality or relationships.
So allow your every failure to be a great opportunity for your next success. The world needs you, wants you and is waiting for you and all your success.
Fight, Flight, Fear or Free
Dr. Tom Hanson recently released his latest book, Play Big.
If you don’t know Dr. Tom, he’s a Tampa-based sports psychologist whose niche is helping baseball players (professional and amateur) perform optimally.
More than anything else, he helps these athletes get the inside game won.
Play Big is a fictional story about a player struggling with hitting the ball (only known as “number 21”) who serendipitously meets this extremely shrewd sage who has no name but is very wise about knowing how to win the inside game of baseball (and life).
Think The Peaceful Warrior meets Field of Dreams.
On page 179 the sage introduces the “inner caveman” as the survival and safety mechanism everyone has in their brain.
When the inner caveman perceives a threat, whether it’s real or imagined, it sets off an alarm to be on guard.
When most people feel this alarm they perceive it as anxiety and usually tense up and back away from whatever the perceived threat is.
The problem with that response pattern, whether you’re playing baseball or just interacting with life, is when you tense up and/or back away, you never perform optimally.
This is an overreaction of the “fight or flight” mechanism of the brain, known more formally as the sympathetic nervous system.
When a baseball player steps up to the plate and is in a state of fight or flight, his muscles tighten up too much and he is not able to swing the bat with his natural and instinctual capabilities.
These natural capabilities are actually wired for high performance.
Yes the athlete (and everyone, including you) is wired to succeed and excel at a very high level.
More simply put, you are wired for greatness.
The ONLY thing that gets in the way is the overreactive fight or flight mechanism.
Yes…the mind simply malfunctions at times without you truly knowing why or how.
But what activates the fight or flight mechanism?
Fear.
Fear of failure and rejection to be exact.
Back to the caveman: He needed his tribe to survive, so any threat to being ostracized from the tribe would literally be life-threatening.
In spite of all the information and technological advances and discoveries made over time, the human brain is exactly the same as caveman days.
No…there is no human brain 2.0!
This means if your inner caveman perceives that a failure may lead to rejection, which may in turn lead to being ostracized, then the sympathetic nervous system is activated and you will not perform optimally if you happen to be playing baseball.
This same dynamic is also occurs in all areas of your life and as long as it reacts this way you will not perform optimally.
Not even close, in fact.
This is why the fear of failure and the fear of rejection are so prevalent (and so destructive).
Dr. Tom really didn’t write this book for the athlete; he wrote it for everyone, as everyone can benefit from this technology.
The next question: How does someone change this response pattern?
Simple…they think differently and create a different emotional response.
Here’s an example: Think about something you do every day without much attention. Something that is almost automatic. Maybe driving, or brushing your teeth or putting on your clothes.
Most people do these tasks, and most daily tasks, automatically and very confidently.
So confidently, in fact, that they don’t even think about it much or at all.
When you engage in one of these activities, you’re being unconsciously confident and competent.
Now imagine you’re able to recreate that same automatically confident energy in other tasks that maybe have been anxiety producing in the past.
What happens when you do?
You feel calmer, more at ease and more peaceful.
And when you feel calmer, more at ease and more peaceful, you automatically feel more confident and perform optimally.
You feel free. Welcome to your greatness!
So, when you visualize yourself doing anything, always see yourself doing it with great ease, calm and peace…breathe deeply and smile, as your body will automatically calm itself with breathing and smiling.
(Yes, stress, deep breathing and smiling cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Stress is overruled by a big smile and a deep breath, and then cast out.)
And remember to stop by and say thanks to Dr. Tom….sneaky guy he is trying to convince the world that this book is about baseball.
Play Big is about life and how to win in a way that will bring you the most happiness and freedom.
That is what you want, right?
And Marry YourSelf First!
Five Words To Change Your Life
Five words that can change your life: Hope, Cope, Survive, Thrive, Soar.
These five words can, do and will continue to change and save lives.
Hope: Not the wishful thinking (“I hope I win the lotto”) type, but “the true inner feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.” (Dictionary.com)
Imagine if you knew how to instantaneously tap into hope whenever you needed it, for whatever reason.
Hope keeps you going in the face of doubt, fear and the great unknown.
Hope keeps you from giving up and, instead, develops your perseverance and persistence muscles.
Hope is the inner seed that is necessary to continue to go forward into action.
Cope: Once you have hope as your foundation, you can now go into action. Cope is “to struggle or deal, especially on fairly even terms or with some degree of success.” (Dictionary.com)
When you cope you get by. No matter how small it might be, progress is made.
Coping is the beginning of creating positive momentum for your life.
You begin to see how your efforts are moving you forward.
You also know how to deal with challenges, struggles and even failure, and keep moving.
Hope + Cope = Survive
Survive means “to get along or remain healthy, happy, and unaffected in spite of some occurrence.” (Dictionary.com)
As you build on hope and cope, you develop survival skills. These skills begin to occur automatically because you have practiced them and have developed some confidence around them.
Surviving means you have gotten yourself to a place of stability…ground level zero.
You have recovered successfully.
Many people survive, but never grow past this point.
Many people get comfortable with surviving.
Remember, life is a progression:
Hope > Cope > Survive > Thrive
Thrive means “to prosper; be fortunate or successful, to grow or develop vigorously; flourish.” (Dictionary.com)
When you thrive you are building on the foundation of hope, well developed coping skills and having established yourself as a survivor.
Thriving is a willingness to go beyond the norm.
Beyond average.
Beyond mediocre.
Beyond what you already know and into the great unknown.
Thriving means to take significant risks, because you are going past where you’ve ever been and perhaps, as well, beyond where anyone else has been before.
Thriving means you are willing to stand up, stand out and make a stand for what you believe.
It means letting go of ego, fear and the need to impress others.
Thriving means to be not just outside the box, but to destroy the box and create your own new paradigm.
Perhaps this is the master success formula for life:
Hope + Cope + Survive + Thrive = Soar
Soar means “to rise or aspire to a higher or more exalted level.” (Dictionary.com)
Thriving sets the tone for soaring. Whereas thriving takes tremendous effort, soaring is the outcome from all that hard work, effort and risk
Just like an eagle soars in the thermals, you too will enjoy soaring through your life as you follow this progression.
Soaring is the positive consequence for hard work, many risks and always keeping the ego (and fear) in check.
Soaring does require a huge commitment to be extremely responsible and accountable due to your high level of visibility.
Many people choose not to soar because they don’t want to be seen as the “center of attention.”
Soaring is not accomplished to be in the limelight, although it often results in such.
To soar, you must shed your ego and have no worries what others will think, say or do in response to your soaring.
To soar is to have reached the pinnacle of life.
It is also from where you must be willing to be a role model at the highest level and a mentor to others who seek to accomplish the same.
Hope.
Cope.
Survive.
Thrive.
Soar.
These five words describe what we all need to stay on the positive side of life.
Addiction, depression and divorce, for example, scarcely exist when you live in the progression of hope, cope, survive, thrive and soar.
These are the stepping stones of greatness.
Will you step up, step out and step into your greatness?
Marry YourSelf First!
Ken Donaldson on Manage You First: Less Stress, More Success and Happiness
Let’s get back to the basics.
You want less stress.
You want more success.
You want more happiness.
Right?
Then you MUST effectively “Manage You First.”
So, what’s the problem?
Simple: You might just not know how to do that!
Did you have a class in self-management?
Most likely not.
Did you have a class in stress management?
Doubtful.
Did you have a class in success?
Hardly.
Did you have a class (what!!) in happiness?
Nope.
That is, unless you went WAY off the beaten path, which a small percentage of people do.
5% would be a liberal estimate.
Most people, like you, didn’t get the training, mentoring, education or experience.
But you still want it.
You want less stress, more success and happiness.
There’s a simple formula, but before we go there, let’s ask, “Why?”
Why would you want to be happier?
Here are four reasons you might be interested in:
• Happier people live longer
• Happier people live healthier lives
• Happier people make more money
• Happier people do better at work
Intrigued?
Here’s another question: How do YOU define success?
This is the question that trips up many people.
And is there a correlation between your happiness and your success?
Many people define their success by their dollars, position at work, material possessions, status in the community, and/or public recognition.
What about you?
How do YOU define success (yes, you were just asked for the second time!)?
People who don’t consciously define what success is for themselves generally allow, by default, the socio-cultural norms to dictate it for them.
This is what Ralph Waldo Emerson determined to be his definition of success:
To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!
Here are a few other “success quotes”:
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. ~Albert Einstein
Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won’t taste good. ~Joe Paterno
Eighty percent of success is showing up. ~Woody Allen
As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it’s leaning against the right building. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. ~Winston Churchill
It’s interesting that these notable quotes from highly esteemed people have very little, if any, focus on “dollars, position at work, material possessions, status in the community, and/or public recognition.”
One other question: What is stress?
Here’s what the dictionary says:
A constraining force or influence: as
a.) a force exerted when one body or body part presses on, pulls on, pushes against, or tends to compress or twist another body or body part; especially the intensity of this mutual force commonly expressed in pounds per square inch
b.) the deformation caused in a body by such a force
c.) a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation
d.) a state resulting from a stress; especially: one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium
Let’s go with this one: A physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation.
In other words, we don’t want too much of this.
But let’s more closely examine one part of this definition: Mental tension.
Is mental tension bad?
Maybe…maybe not.
Think about an athlete: An athlete MUST have extreme mental tension in order to be at the top of their game, whatever their game is.
If they don’t have mental tension, they are not in the game.
Same thing goes for performers, professional speakers, entrepreneurs, executives…geez, all of these people have a high level of both responsibility and accountability.
The key for them, and for you, is how to effectively manage that mental tension.
Too many people feel it and then either run from it, get so scared that they become paralyzed by it or try to self-medicate it though drugs, alcohol or other addictive behavior.
So let’s get back to the simple formula for “Less Stress, More Success and Happiness.”
1.) Be clear about your personal definition of success. Spend some time with this. Write it down and revisit it often. Make sure you stay on that path of success.
2.) Get clear that happiness is much more based on your “inside game” than the “outer results”. You cannot control much of what happens outside you (weather, politics, the economy, etc.) but you always have a choice of how you want to respond and how you want to be on the inside.
3.) Reframe stress to become more user-friendly and have some simple stress management tools. Deep breathing, creative visualization, walks outside, exercise, connecting with friends, journaling, singing and dancing are but a few of the many stress reducing actions you can take almost anytime and anywhere (be a bit careful about singing and dancing at work!).
If you truly want Less Stress, More Success and Happiness, you now officially have the simple formula.
Feel free to tweak it, of course, to make it better fit you and your unique life.
Remember: Manage You First and everything else will follow!
And Marry YourSelf First!
Ken Donaldson Says, Manage You First: New Beginnings…Beginning With You
How do you manage yourself, your work-life balance, and at the same time, maintain physical and mental health, harmony in your family and an overall sense of happiness?
Life is challenging today and when additional pressures are added, without the proper resources, something can break down, resulting in decreased performance, poor health, unnecessary personal power struggles and an overall bad attitude.
The good news is that you can do something about all this.
It all starts with YOU managing YOU First!
Are YOU up for it?
Let’s look at some of the current research related to work-life balance (or the lack thereof) and career satisfaction:
1. 26% of U.S. adults report being on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown.
2. 40% of U.S. workers describe their office environment as “most like a real-life survivor program.”
3. 62% of U.S. workers routinely end the day with work-related neck pain, 44% report strained eyes, 38% complain of hand pain, and 34% report difficulty in sleeping due to work-related stress.
4. 26% of U.S. workers take no vacations at all.
5. 88% of U.S. employees say they have a hard time juggling work and life.
6. 70% of U.S. working fathers and working mothers report they don’t have enough time for their children.
7. 64% of Americans report that time pressures on working families are getting worse, not better.
8. Americans work 137 more hours per year than Japanese workers, 260 more hours per year than British workers, and 499 more hours per year than French workers. The Japanese document approximately 10,000 cases per year of “death by overwork,” or karoosh. Considering the above stats, what must the undocumented U.S. numbers be??
9. People in the U.S. work approximately 8 weeks longer per year than in 1969—in the space of a single generation—but for roughly the same income (after adjusting for inflation)
10. AND the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics tracks just about everything but worker satisfaction.
So…what does one make from all this?
Work-life balance? Where is it? It doesn’t seem to exist.
Let’s add in a few more “realities of life.”
- 50% of first marriages end in divorce. This goes up to 60% for second timers and 70% for third times.
Obviously changing partners is not the solution, but more importantly, take a look at what must be relational ignorance.
Relationship intelligence? Lacking, to say the least.
How, then, do we cope with all these work and relational challenges?
Not so well.
Here’s more:
- One in every five Americans suffers from a diagnosable mental condition and the majority of those people never receive treatment.
- Alcoholism and alcohol abuse are the third leading cause of the preventable deaths in the United States.
- From 1960 to 2006, the prevalence of obesity increased from 13.4% to 35.1% in U.S. adults age 20 to 74.
- 15 million people display some sign of gambling addiction.
- A VERY conservative estimate suggests that 3% – 5% of the U.S. population struggles with “sexual compulsion disorders.”
SO…what to do with all this?
Manage YOU First!
Yes, you must know how to manage you first.
What does this mean?
How about a new 13 Step Program?
1.) Manage Your Personal Vision
2.) Manage Your Life Purpose
3.) Manage Your Unique Values
4.) Manage Your Fear
5.) Manage Your Past: Feel It, Heal It and Release It
6.) Manage Your Emotions
7.) Manage Your Thoughts
8.) Manage Your Belief System
9.) Manage Your Actions (and Reactions)
10.) Manage Your Relationships
11.) Manage Your Career
12.) Manage Your Free Time
13.) Manage Your Health
There…start with that.
Effectively manage these 13 steps and you’ll avoid being one of the above statistics.
Manage You First and you’ll win every time…you’ll win with your health, your career, your relationships, your happiness and, of course, your life.
And Marry YourSelf First!
Marry YourSelf First! Audio
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