Ken Donaldson on GOALS: Go Out And Live Splendidly!
GOALS: Go Out And Live Splendidly!
Your acronym for the day.
When you get down to it, what are goals truly for?
Aren’t they designed for you to live your life fully, happily and with the most and best balance possible?
So, when you’re in the process of “doing” your goals, make them simple and succinct.
Remember that your goals work best when they are in alignment with your mission, vision and purpose (MVP), and your values, integrity and priorities (VIP).
Now, Go Out And Live Splendidly!
And Marry YourSelf First!!
Ken Donaldson: 10 Step Program for Relationship Success
Filed under: boundaries, communication, Ken Donaldson's Blog, life purpose, marry yourself first, relationship, values, vision map, work life balance
Relationships: Why is it that some people seem to have such ease with them, and other people seem to chronically struggle with them?
Perhaps it’s because some people have prepared themselves and others haven’t.
From my 25 years of experience working with people on the frontlines and in the trenches of their relationship challenges, I have discovered that some people plan and some people don’t.
Sounds too simplistic, doesn’t it?!!
It’s not, as the same rules apply for business. The successful businesses have plans and those that are not successful, don’t.
Simple, yes, but very true.
By now, you’ve heard the saying that “people don’t plan to fail; they just fail to plan.” This saying is most likely the cause of relationship success (and failure).
In fact, there are ten primary factors that I have seen people who are more successful in their relationships use over and over.
Would you like to know what these ten factors are?
Cool!
Maybe the easiest way to introduce them is through a self-evaluation.
Consider this the “10 Step Program for Relationship Success.”
The following evaluation will assist you in assessing your life which, if you didn’t know, is the foundation for all healthy relationships.
At the same time of providing you with helpful feedback to create a happy life and an exciting career, this simple test will direct you to develop the core essentials to create the healthiest relationships possible.
Feel free to share this with your friends, family and loved ones and ask for their input and feedback.
On the following ten items, rate each item using a 0 to 10 scale:
- 8-10: Good; this area of my life is strong and supports my success in life
- 5-7: OK; this area needs to be strengthened for me to be truly successful
- 0-4: Needs Work; this area could stop me from going forward and being successful
1. Vision: I have an exciting Vision for my life and I’m clear where I’m going in life.
2. Purpose: I have a deep understanding of my Life Purpose and the importance of it in my life and in the lives of others I impact.
3. Values and Priorities: I know my values and have taken the time to write down the ten most important values of my life. I also know my day-to-day priorities that keep me focused.
4. Soul Food and Spirituality: I am aware of the activities, people, places and events which energize me and feed my personal spirituality.
5. Boundaries: I am aware of the boundaries I need to keep with myself and I’m confident about setting boundaries with others, all of which support my Vision, Purpose and Values.
6. Support Network: I have a powerful support network I use regularly. I ask for assistance in getting past stuck points and I use the power of the “MasterMind” to generate new ideas and solutions.
7. Life Balance: I regularly evaluate and have a measurable system to check my life balance and I make the necessary adjustments, while also realizing that life is always moving and there is no perfect balance.
8. Communication: I am comfortable using the most assertive communication tactics necessary to get my needs met and my goals accomplished. I especially practice my listening skills as I realize that listening is the most powerful part of effective communication.
9. Living in the Present: I am always focused on being in the present (rather than the past or the future) and I have moved past old hurts, resentments and/or trauma.
10. Flexible: I know that I am “perfectly imperfect” and I use humor, light-heartedness and silliness to manage any and all stress, and I avoid becoming overly serious about anything!
Total your score and let’s see how you did:
80-100= Green Light: You’re on track for highly successful relationships…keep growing forward!
50-79=Yellow Light: There are some areas of your life that need attention in order for you to truly have the relationship you desire.
0-49=RED LIGHT: It’s time to put YOU first and focus on these foundational areas that will support all your future success, especially in your relationships.
There you go: A brand new 10 Step Program for Relationship Success.
Master these ten areas and not only will you have extraordinary relationships, but you’ll also have an extraordinary life.
After all, the two do go together!
Marry YourSelf First!
Ken Donaldson Says, Manage You First: New Beginnings…Beginning With You
Filed under: Ken Donaldson's Blog, life purpose, marry yourself first, mental health, relationship, success, time management, vision map, work, work life balance
How do you manage yourself, your work-life balance, and at the same time, maintain physical and mental health, harmony in your family and an overall sense of happiness?
Life is challenging today and when additional pressures are added, without the proper resources, something can break down, resulting in decreased performance, poor health, unnecessary personal power struggles and an overall bad attitude.
The good news is that you can do something about all this.
It all starts with YOU managing YOU First!
Are YOU up for it?
Let’s look at some of the current research related to work-life balance (or the lack thereof) and career satisfaction:
1. 26% of U.S. adults report being on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown.
2. 40% of U.S. workers describe their office environment as “most like a real-life survivor program.”
3. 62% of U.S. workers routinely end the day with work-related neck pain, 44% report strained eyes, 38% complain of hand pain, and 34% report difficulty in sleeping due to work-related stress.
4. 26% of U.S. workers take no vacations at all.
5. 88% of U.S. employees say they have a hard time juggling work and life.
6. 70% of U.S. working fathers and working mothers report they don’t have enough time for their children.
7. 64% of Americans report that time pressures on working families are getting worse, not better.
8. Americans work 137 more hours per year than Japanese workers, 260 more hours per year than British workers, and 499 more hours per year than French workers. The Japanese document approximately 10,000 cases per year of “death by overwork,” or karoosh. Considering the above stats, what must the undocumented U.S. numbers be??
9. People in the U.S. work approximately 8 weeks longer per year than in 1969—in the space of a single generation—but for roughly the same income (after adjusting for inflation)
10. AND the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics tracks just about everything but worker satisfaction.
So…what does one make from all this?
Work-life balance? Where is it? It doesn’t seem to exist.
Let’s add in a few more “realities of life.”
- 50% of first marriages end in divorce. This goes up to 60% for second timers and 70% for third times.
Obviously changing partners is not the solution, but more importantly, take a look at what must be relational ignorance.
Relationship intelligence? Lacking, to say the least.
How, then, do we cope with all these work and relational challenges?
Not so well.
Here’s more:
- One in every five Americans suffers from a diagnosable mental condition and the majority of those people never receive treatment.
- Alcoholism and alcohol abuse are the third leading cause of the preventable deaths in the United States.
- From 1960 to 2006, the prevalence of obesity increased from 13.4% to 35.1% in U.S. adults age 20 to 74.
- 15 million people display some sign of gambling addiction.
- A VERY conservative estimate suggests that 3% – 5% of the U.S. population struggles with “sexual compulsion disorders.”
SO…what to do with all this?
Manage YOU First!
Yes, you must know how to manage you first.
What does this mean?
How about a new 13 Step Program?
1.) Manage Your Personal Vision
2.) Manage Your Life Purpose
3.) Manage Your Unique Values
4.) Manage Your Fear
5.) Manage Your Past: Feel It, Heal It and Release It
6.) Manage Your Emotions
7.) Manage Your Thoughts
8.) Manage Your Belief System
9.) Manage Your Actions (and Reactions)
10.) Manage Your Relationships
11.) Manage Your Career
12.) Manage Your Free Time
13.) Manage Your Health
There…start with that.
Effectively manage these 13 steps and you’ll avoid being one of the above statistics.
Manage You First and you’ll win every time…you’ll win with your health, your career, your relationships, your happiness and, of course, your life.
And Marry YourSelf First!
Coach Ken Donaldson On Setting Goals for the New Year
As you think about the New Year, resolutions and new goals, here’s a template to help you be more clear, concise and thorough with your goal-setting and your goal-getting (no sense in setting them if you can’t “get them”, right?!!).
Start with the eight primary areas of your life and answer the corresponding questions from each area, and then add your own questions to formulate your goals.
Remember to make your goals SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-Oriented.
Here are the eight primary areas of your life to start with:
SOCIAL NETWORK AND FRIENDS
- How are your friendships?
- How is your support network?
- How do you feel about your interpersonal skills?
FAMILY AND YOUR INNER CIRCLE
- How are your relationships with your parents, siblings, children, spouse and extended family?
- How is your “chosen” family; your inner circle?
VOCATIONAL, WORK AND VOLUNTEER INVOLVEMENT
- How satisfied are you with your current career?
- What would you rather be doing?
- What type of work has brought you the most satisfaction in the past?
- What do you do to “give back”?
PHYSICAL AND HEALTH
- How are your eating habits?
- How is your regular exercise program?
- How are your sleeping patterns?
- How is your weight?
- How often do you see your medical professionals?
RECREATIONAL, HOBBIES AND VACATIONS
- What do you do in your leisure time?
- How do you relax and have fun?
- What creative outlets do you have?
FINANCIAL AND CASH FLOW
- What is your debt level?
- What are you doing to plan for the future?
- How do you want your financial future to be different?
SPIRITUAL AND PERSONAL GROWTH
- How is your spirituality?
- How do you release your emotions?
- What do you do with emotional overload?
- What do you engage in (books, audios, workshops, etc.) to promote your personal growth?
RELATIONAL, ROMANCE AND SIGNIFICANT OTHER
- How is your love life?
- What do you do to keep the passion alive?
- How well do you communicate about the more difficult issues?
- How are your conflict resolution skills?
- If you’re single, how is the dating going?
- What do you want to be different here?
Then go a bit deeper into the core of your life (I dare you!!) and answer the following:
LIFE PURPOSE AND VISION
- Do you know what your life purpose is?
- Have you written your life purpose?
- Do you say it aloud daily?
- Do you have a vision for your life?
- Have you written your vision and/or created a vision map?
- Do you review your vision on a regular basis?
Now you may ask, why go to all this effort?
First of all, as the old saying goes, “No one plans to fail; people just fail to plan.”
And second, if you don’t have a personalized guidance system, some rules, some guidelines or some kind of tailored compass, you’re bound to get lost, feel confused and have an overall unproductive experience.
Create a plan for this New Year, and for your life, and you’re much more likely to achieve and experience everything you desire, and you’re much more likely to be happy, healthy, wealthy and very, very wise!
Start Here: Marry YourSelf First!
Coach Ken Donaldson: Healthy, Happy and Lasting Relationship Secrets Uncovered
Filed under: boundaries, communication, dating, divorce, health, humor, Ken Donaldson's Blog, life purpose, marriage, marry yourself first, passion, relationship, singles, success, values, vision map, work life balance
Whether you’re single, in a relationship or perhaps coming out of a relationship, it’s always good to know the primary relationship building blocks…right?!!
Over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to work with and/or interview thousands of people and ask them about their relationships.
I’ve noticed some trends in the happier, healthier and longer lasting relationships: The individuals in those relationships have some very clear traits and behaviors that separated them from the rest.
Want to know what they are?
Here you go:
The 12 Steps to Proactively Creating a Divorce-Proof Marriage
1.) Know yourself, trust yourself and like yourself first!
• Define your Life Purpose
• Discern and live by your Values and Priorities
• Create your Life Vision and Life Mission Statement
• Develop a Legacy that will live forever
2.) Create a Balanced Lifestyle
• Set Boundaries and eliminate energy drains
• Create a proactive Self Maintenance program
• Evaluate and Inventory your lifestyle weekly
3.) Surround yourself with Supportive Networks and Communities
• Seek out like-minded and like-valued people
• Create Accountability agreements with others
• Avoid negative situations and environments
4.) Know your Requirements and Needs
• Create and live by your “Deal Makers” and “Deal Breakers”
• Make direct requests to get your needs met
• Always be true to yourself
5.) Take your work in life seriously, but take life lightly
• Practice being flexible, fluid, and accepting
• Avoid trying to “push the river”
• Express your passion in life with the utmost of passion
6.) Understand the healthy romantic relationship developmental process
• Create the criteria for your Life Partner
• Develop “Screening” and “Testing” strategies
• Use your support system for feedback and input
7.) Define your personal Spirituality
• Discover and walk your Spiritual Path
• Practice daily acts to activate your “Highest Self”
• Accept life on life’s terms
8.) Be perfectly imperfect
• Know your character challenges and work to strengthen those areas
• Accept all your errors, mis-takes and failures
• Practice non-judgment of yourself and all others
9.) Live from Abundance
• Practice daily acts of ‘Random Kindness”
• Develop a “Pay it Forward” system in your life
• Create an affirming, fear-less inner dialogue
10.) Be an Excellent Communicator
• Practice Active Listening as often as possible
• Commit to creating a “Win-Win” outcome with others
• Learn to process emotions, conflict and disagreements
11.) Get out of your comfort zone
• Learn to accept all your uncomfortable feelings and emotions
• Practice deliberate daily acts of new behavior
• Celebrate discomfort as healthy growth and development
12.) Consciously Breathe and Smile
• Learn to be Silly (use a clown nose if you need too!!)
• Develop Breathing Exercises to enhance your Mind, Body, Heart and Soul
• Smile until you are happy
And if you like this, you’re going to love the workshop this Saturday:
Love YourSelf Before You Love Again
Saturday, November 13th, 9 A.M. – 5 P.M.
Cost: $27 if prepaid, $37 at the door (and includes lunch!!)
FAMILY RESOURCES
5180 62nd Avenue North
Pinellas Park, FL 33781.
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER OR CALL 866.600.6064.
Marry YourSelf First! Audio
Marry YourSelf First is now available on audio! Click here to learn more
Visit me at The Tampa Bay Examiner
Find me on:
Marry YourSelf First! Audio
Marry YourSelf First is now available on audio! Click here to learn more
Men and Depression
Why The Hell Am I Feeling This Way? Men and Depression: For all Men and the Women who love them Click Here
Visit me at The Tampa Bay Examiner
Find me on:
