Want more love, success and balance in your life? Get to the root of self-sabotaging behavior!

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss

Would you ever deliberately disrupt your balance in life? Turn away love? Destroy success? No, of course not! So, why then, do people seem to engage in self-sabotaging behavior so frequently?

Why is it that someone would choose to do something they know, based on past experience, would NOT have a good outcome. In fact, why would someone choose to do something they know would have a negative outcome?

Are they insane?

No…of course not!

They just can’t see what they can’t see.

In other words, people don’t truly see the cause, or the roots, of “self-sabotaging” behavior.

It’s hidden…buried…deep beneath the surface.

Much like the, yes, roots of a tree: You can’t see them, but you know they exist because that’s what feeds the tree.

You too have roots that are buried that you may not be seeing fully.

SO…if there are certain behaviors that keep appearing in your life, disrupting your work life balance (and perhaps everything else!), it’s time for you to take a deeper look.

Start here with a very simple, but powerful, self-inventory:

1.) Review your childhood. What messages did you receive, directly or indirectly, from your primary caretakers (parents, teachers, church, sitters, etc.)?

 

2.) Were there events that occurred early in your life that may have dramatically influenced how you felt about yourself, felt about others and/or felt about life in general?

 

3.) Have there been recurring patterns of self-destructive or self-limiting behaviors in your life?

Add all this together and what you’ll probably see are some patterns…these are the influences that could very well be occurring beneath the surface in the subconscious part of your mind.

And the subconscious, much like the roots of a tree, is buried beneath the surface.

You can’t see it, but you can see the results: Self–sabotaging behaviors.

There are only a few basic beliefs that get formed in the subconscious that are problematic. Here they are:

1.) “I’m afraid of failing so I either try to be perfect or I don’t try at all.”

 

2.) “I’m afraid of rejection so I either do everything to keep people close to me (including rejecting my own values and boundaries) or I just settle for second-class relationships because I know they won’t leave me.”

 

3.) “I’m afraid of change so I do everything to maintain “status quo” including avoiding opportunities to advance myself because that would require change. I try to stay as invisible as possible.”

 

4.) “I’m afraid of success because I think I either can’t handle it or I’ll mess it up, so I do everything I can to avoid success, including “self-sabotaging” behavior.”

Do you see yourself anywhere in there?

If so, here’s what you do, plain and simple, if you have any of this funky stuff going on in your “roots”: Do the opposite! That’s right, just do the opposite!

Fear of failing? Go make many, many mistakes…celebrate mistakes!

Fear of rejection? Go let yourself be rejected over and over…celebrate your efforts!

Fear of change? Go try as may new and different things as you can…celebrate your willingness!

Fear of success? Go and do all those things you’ve wanted to do, planned to do or thought about doing. Do them over and over and do NOT allow yourself to quit. Surround yourself with a support system that will cheer you on and never let you quit…celebrate your success!

Break the spell…break the old trance…create new roots.

That’s how it’s done!

Have YOU been your own worst enemy in the past?

Are you ready to start new patterns in your life? For the rest of your life?

Want more love? More success? More happiness? More health? More balance in your life?

Then break the spells that have been operating beneath the surface…make new roots for your tree of life!

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~Winston Churchill

And, of course, Marry YourSelf First!

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About Ken Donaldson

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