Ken Donaldson: Dating Red Flags

The Dating Red Flags here we go…

  1. I love the way they look or their status and it builds my self-esteem to be with them.
  2. I want to rescue or “help” them because I see their potential.
  3. We have some things in common and so I’m avoiding looking at glaring differences.
  4. He/she appears to be totally different than people I’ve been with in the past.
  5. I’m focusing on one important quality (money, sex, fun, humor, etc) and ignoring unmet requirements.
  6. What he/she says about him/her doesn’t match reality.
  7. This isn’t what I really want, but I don’t want to be alone
  8. I notice myself trying to change this person to fit what I want, instead of accepting them for who they are.

Additionally, he/she:

  • Reacts to frustration with anger, rage or blame.
  • Blames others or circumstances for their current life situation.
  • Is immature, impulsive, and/or irresponsible.
  • Tries to control everything, including me.
  • Is emotionally distant, void or aloof.
  • Is still pining for a past relationship.
  • Wants me to make their sad life better.
  • Is married or otherwise unavailable to commit to me.
  • Is active in some addictive behavior but has rationalized as “not a problem.”
  • Lacks integrity in dealing with people, money, etc.
  • Is pessimistic and negative about things that matter to me.
  • Has a judgmental attitude towards others.
  • Is unwilling to self-examine, accept feedback or take responsibility.
  • Doesn’t keep agreements.
  • Talks too much (especially about self), monopolizes conversation.
  • Has highly changeable and inconsistent behavior.
  • Is on an emotional roller coaster, or has recurring or regular emotional drama.
  • Has the inability to listen.
  • Is overly quiet, withdrawn.

There’s a start for you.

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