Love, Lust, Livelihood…or Lies


Ken Donaldson Love, lust, livelihood...or lies?

Love, lust, livelihood…or lies?


Everyone loves to be in love. A normal human need, right?

And although it may be denied, everyone lusts after lust. A normal human desire, right?

Furthermore, everyone wants to be in his or her right livelihood. A normal human purpose, right?

Therefore, the pursuit of love, lust and livelihood are all healthy, positive and normal, right?

Right. Wrong. Maybe. It depends.

Perhaps a more pertinent question might be “what’s the motivating force?”

But first, before we address that question, let’s be clear about defining these human dynamics.

For the sake of this conversation, we’ll use the following definitions:

  • Love: To be part of, and exchange in, an intimate relationship with another that far surpasses any and all other relationships.
  • Lust: The ecstatic drive and desire to connect with another in sexual interaction.
  • Livelihood: One’s purpose, vocation and calling that, when engaged in, brings complete and lasting fulfillment, satisfaction and benefit to others.

Over the years I’ve worked with many people who, in spite of their positive intentions and best insight, were in the pursuit of love, lust and/or livelihood and were literally driving themselves down the highway to hell.

The saddest part was that they didn’t even recognize the destructive and dysfunctional warning signs.

Yes, they were simply glazed by the wonderful power of denial in all its many deceptive colors and mesmerizing flavors: Rationalizing, minimizing, intellectualizing, justifying, selective-forgetting, euphoric-recall, blaming, etc.

And that’s where the lies come in. Not that anyone sets out to blatantly sabotage their life (although it certainly does look that way at times), but rather, people, for the most part, do not have a good, solid and accurate guidance system when it comes to love, lust, and livelihood.

So, therefore, it’s easier just to buy into the lies set out before us. NOT a very good motivating force.

What are those lies? So glad you asked…

Love will make me whole and complete.

Lust will make me feel whole and complete.

Livelihood will make me feel whole and complete.

Starting to see a pattern here?

So really there’s only one lie: The deception of what it is that truly allows one to be whole and complete.

And people who follow “the lie” are often most deceived because “it feels so good.”

And it generally does feel really good in the beginning. However, thanks in part to our ever so addictive culture and lifestyles, our impulsive and compulsive desires can easily have us completely strung out into a delusional obsession of deceit (a.k.a. denial) and we likely will never even know the difference. Until it’s too late.

And it’s only when the abrupt hitting bottom head-on wakes us up from our delusional stupor do we realize, “Oops.”

So, what DOES it take for you to be whole and complete?

Generally the answer is this:______________.

Yes, generally there is no answer because so few people have actually had an open and healthy conversation about what it takes to truly live a life wholly and completely.

Did you have the class “How to Become Whole and Complete” in school? Did your religious institution tell you what you “should” do or how you “should” be to become whole and complete, and if so, how’s that working for you? What do the infinite streams of instant media tell you about becoming whole and complete? What do your friends tell you? What did your family of origin tell you? What do you tell yourself?

The fact is that most people have actually never asked, or been asked, the question. They just get in their metaphorical cars of daily living and drive down the metaphorical highway of life until they run of out metaphorical gas and then repeat it over and over and over until they finally die.

Depressing, right?

Today is the best day to have that conversation.

How will you go about living a whole and complete life?

How will you know if you’re pursuing the ever-so-convincing lie of false wholeness and completion?

To whom will you turn to help you get on, and stay on, the path of a happy, healthy and harmonious life of wholeness and completeness?

What are you waiting for?

Start. Now.

YOU be the motivating force.

Happy and healthy love, lust and livelihood await you.


Marry YourSelf First!

About Ken Donaldson

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