How do I rebuild trust after betrayal?

Can I recover from a marital affair?

How do I deal with marriage infidelity?

What do I do after infidelity?

Can I recover from betrayal and trust again?

Unfortunately, many people quite frequently ask these questions. Betrayal, infidelity, and affairs are rampant today.

But here is the real question: What are the keys to happy, healthy, and harmonious relationships?

Please answer this question and live it fully every day in every way. You’ll proactively prevent, or at least dramatically reduce, the likelihood of dealing with a marital affair, marriage infidelity, betrayal, or broken trust in your relationship.

However, people in these unfortunate situations want to know what to do.

Answer: ???????

Not such a good answer, right?

There is NO clear-cut answer because there are so many variables involved.

So, let’s look at some possibilities for rebuilding trust in the relationship.

The rebuilding process is often dependent upon how much baggage has been brought into the relationship. Additionally, it is also very dependent on how open the two people are.

If there is a lot of baggage, which means “a significant amount of pre-relationship emotional issues,” then one or both people may have to do a lot of individual processing and work on the relationship.

If one or both people are unwilling to open up and be truthful and honest, this will slow down or perhaps even sabotage the entire process.

One other variable is around how much trust has been broken. Is there a long history, or is this the first and only time?

Here’s something to consider: The affair is not THE problem. It’s a symptom of the problem. Relationships that are strong in their foundation do have affairs.

The marital affair is an escape or an attempted way to cope. This, of course, does NOT diminish the fact that it’s still an affair…still a betrayal…and still broken trust.

Usually, affairs come from needs that are not being met in the relationship. In some cases, it can go back even further to severe unresolved trauma from childhood or earlier on in life.

The bottom line, however, is to get to the core of the motivation for the affair and then resolve that.

Believe it or not, the recovery from an affair can help the relationship become even stronger than before. Like a broken bone: If appropriately healed, it becomes stronger than it was previously…really!

If the couple is genuinely committed to healing, they can make the relationship even more potent and better than before. Affairs mean that there are significant dysfunctional dynamics in the relationship.

In other words, something was going on before the infidelity occurred.

So, the most significant elements required for lasting healing are openness, honesty, and patience. The healing process takes time. Sometimes, a LOT of time!

Find a good relationship counselor who can help guide you through the healing process. It is challenging, if not impossible, for couples to heal successfully by themselves.

Affairs and infidelities are eye-openers. Now that your eyes are open leave them open. Notice what’s going on in the relationship. Notice the unmet needs, the unresolved issues, and the unspoken words.

These “un” patterns are the patterns and behaviors that MUST end, or the relationship will fail or forever be embittered.

On the other end of the spectrum lies this question: Is this a Deal-Breaker? And can I repair it even though I consider it to be a deal-breaker?

The literal answer would be “no” since deal-breakers are just that: They break the deal!

True deal-breakers are absolutes and non-negotiable. That’s not to say that this makes a decision of this magnitude easy. Deal-breakers mean, “I will not tolerate or allow anything beyond this line.”

You have to decide your lines and whether you want to change them.

Beware of guilt or fear is the underlying motivation to stay despite the deal-breakers. These motivators will most likely come back to haunt you again and again.

Whatever your motivation, it’s highly recommended that you use a lot of caution if you decide to change your deal-breakers and allow yourself to continue in the relationship.

Again, getting a good, experienced relationship counselor involved is paramount.

How do you rebuild trust after betrayal?

Can you recover from a marital affair?

How do you deal with marriage infidelity? 

What do you do after infidelity?

Can you recover from betrayal and trust again?

Yes…no…maybe.

But whatever you choose, do it much differently than you did in the past and with professional guidance.

Marry YourSelf First Every Day!