Relationship Counselor Ken Donaldson: You, Me and the Space Between We
“Man is a knot into which relationships are tied.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
How much weight do your relationships have on your life? How about “mucho-mucho”!
However, relationships are very challenging for most people. Here’s the evidence:
As you know, about 50% of first time marriages end in divorce.
You may not know that second timers have a 60% divorce rate and third timers have a 70% divorce rate.
(FYI: Getting a different partner does not seem to be the solution).
Additionally, one in three women will be physically abused by a partner at some point in her life. That is a very conservative number as most abuse is never reported.
So, obviously, the “We” part of this equation is lacking something.
Let’s also look at the “You” and “Me” parts as well:
About 10% of our population meets the criteria for alcoholism.
Another 10% is drug addicted.
Also, about 10% are clinically depressed.
Another 10% meet the clinical criteria for an anxiety disorder.
So let’s stop right there for a moment…good time to take a deep breath in…and a deep breath out.
What does this all say? Simple: Not only do we not know what to give to our relationships to help them flourish and grow, we don’t even know what to give to ourselves!
To say that we have a lack of coping skills would be an exaggerated understatement.
We have a serious problem is what we have!
And here’s even worse news: Our politicians in Washington are not going to fix this for us.
Therefore, it’s up to us…each and every one of us!
Think about this for a moment: Imagine there was a number of TV shows that were designed to create dramatic change in our country. Imagine that was the only purpose of these shows…only to create dramatic change.
Every week there would be a focus on something new to change. Something positive that would help individuals and families. And every week there would be a challenge to the viewers: See how much positive change you can create this week. People who create massive positive change would be featured.
But wait…there’s more!
Imagine that we integrated into our school system, first and foremost, curriculum that was specifically designed to help students improve the following:
• Stress Management Skills
• Assertiveness
• Boundary Setting
• Self-Esteem Building
• Team Building
• Relationship Skills
Whoa! What would happen if this was the primary focus of school and THEN we worked on reading, writing and arithmetic?
Yes, imagine what this would do to the previously mentioned divorce, addiction and mental health numbers.
Yes…imagine!
But know this: Everything that has ever been created or invented started in the imagination.
Every idea went from imagination to possibility, and then to a burning desire to create it, followed by a magnificent obsession to make sure it happened.
So here’s the question to YOU: What will YOU do to make this happen?
Until the media shows up with such a series of shows and until the education system transforms its learning styles, it’s up to you and me to make these changes.
What will you do today to help transform You, Me and the Space Between We?
Want more life balance? Then upgrade your relationship skills. Then, go do something yourself to help change things for the positive…that’ll give your life more balance too!
“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough